


Copyright N° 

COPYRIGHT DEPOSm 



* 
































Follow Thou Me 


By 

ELEANOR BEARD HATTON 



PUBLISHED BY 

Christian Alliance Publishing Go. 
692 Eighth Avenub 

NEW YORK 




5 


Copyrighted, 1916, 

Christian Alliance Publishing Co. 

NEW YORK 



APR 10 1916 

©CI.A428453 

hlA ' / ' 


TO THE PRECIOUS MEMORY 
OF MY 

SAINTED FATHER AND MOTHER 
THIS LITTLE BOOK IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED 


% 








Follow Thou Me. 

CHAPTER I. 

“Sooner or later, we find out that life is not a holiday, but 
a discipline. Earlier or later we shall discover that the 
world is not a playground. It is quite clear that God means 
it for a school. The moment we forget that, the puzzle of 
life begins. We try to play in school. The Master does not 
mind that so much for its own sake, for He likes to see His 
children happy; but in our playing we neglect our lessons. 
We do not see how much there is to learn, and we do not 
care. But our Master cares. He has a perfectly overpower- 
ing solicitude for our education; and because He loves us, 
He comes into our school sometimes and speaks to us. 
He may speak very softly and very gently, or very loudly. 
Sometimes a look is enough, and we understand it like Peter, 
and go out at once and weep bitterly. Sometimes the voice 
is like the thunder-clap, startling a summer night. 

“But one thing we may be sure of : the task He sets us to 
is never measured by our delinquency. The discipline may 
seem far less than our desert, or, to our eyes, ten times more, 
but it is not measured by these. It is measured by God’s so- 
licitude for our progress; measured solely by God’s love; 
measured solely that the scholar may be better educated when 
he arrives at his Father’s home.” Drummond. 

“And now, little children, abide in him; that when he 


8 


Follow Thou Me 


shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed 
before him at his coming” (I John 2:28). 

November 28th. I am just entering upon the 
tenth year of my work as a minister of the gos- 
pel, and the third year of the pastorate of Saint 
Paul's Church. 

My congregation has met every obligation this 
year; and, at the same time, has almost completed 
a handsome stone church, which is, without doubt, 
a masterpiece of architectural genius — a real “tri- 
umph of mind over matter." 

Mary and I have just made a thorough inspection 
of the entire structure. The workmen have just 
placed a memorial window which we dedicated to 
our angel boy. 

This beautiful work of art represents a shepherd 
on the home-side of a swollen, turbulent stream, 
holding a lamb in his arms, which he has just borne 
across; while the sheep, led by the mother of the 
lamb, are, one by one, leaving the quiet pasture and 
braving the rushing torrent to find the fold on the 
other side. It bears this inscription: “I shall go to 
him, but he shall not return to me." The thought 
was suggested by a little poem that gave us so 
much comfort in our sorrow. I can only trust that 
it may help some sorrowing parents to find the 
meaning of their bereavement. 


Follow Thou Me 


9 


During the coming year I trust my people will 
lift the debt that remains on the church. Then I 
want them to consider the support of a foreign 
missionary and the establishment of a mission here 
in the city. 

December 2nd. I preached twice yesterday to large 
attentive congregations ! This morning one of the 
leading dailies of the city contains a picture of 
our “handsome new church, and her popular pas- 
tor." Underneath there is a notice of the services 
of yesterday, abounding in such phrases as these: 
“eloquent divine/' “strong sermon of deep thought," 
“the large cultured audience held spellbound," etc. 
There have been times when this flattering notice 
would have been very gratifying to me. But the 
very words that rang as eloquence on yesterday 
have the harsh jangle of the tinkling cymbal today. 
I have only to turn to the social column of the 
same paper and read some of the social announce- 
ments, to learn a few facts about the lives of some 
of my members that make my heart sick. I sigh 
wearily: “It is one thing to preach sermons that 
please people, and quite another thing to reach 
the consciences, and influence the lives of those 
same people." And yet, I have tried to lift a high 
standard of Christian living and show a high ideal 
of Christian character. I have preached of the 


IO 


Follow Thou Me 


emptiness and vanity of low sensual living; and 
still, Mrs. Mauldin continues to give card parties 
and serve wine to the young men and young women 
of our church, of other churches, and to those who 
belong to no church. 

Percy Armstrong, president of the most fashion- 
able club in the city, and his beautiful young wife 
are still leaders in the gayest circle of the corrupt 
society of the city. As owner and proprietor of 
the Belle Vue Hotel, of course, he is also the owner 
and proprietor of a “high-class” bar. I could men- 
tion the names of others, who listen to my ser- 
mons and praise them on Sunday, and through the 
week attend theatres, play cards, dance, or indulge 
in other forms of pleasure hurtful to the Christian 
life. Yes, when I study the roll of my church care- 
fully, I fear that few persons who hold their mem- 
bership in St. Paul’s Church are Christians in the 
real meaning of the word. And when I look into 
things, and see them as I do this morning, I am 
deeply troubled. 

Among the notices of religious services held in 
the city yesterday, I see an account of a Conven- 
tion of a body of Christian workers, known as the 
“Eleventh Hour Laborers.” They are holding their 
meetings in a large gospel tent, and immense 
crowds are attending them. Notably, among the 


Follow Thou Me 


ii 


many converts, the reporter mentions Tom Calla- 
han, a saloon-keeper of a very disreputable part of 
the city. No mention is made of a conversion in 
any other congregation ! 

Downstairs I hear Mary singing : 

“Not at death I shrink nor falter, 

For my Saviour saves me now; 

But to meet Him empty-handed, 

Thought of this now clouds my brow.” 

Dear Mary, I wonder if you feel the same doubts 
and fears that now distress my heart. I wonder if 
you are in the same conflict, or do the words fall 
unconsciously from your lips? 

I believe I will leave all these cares and go for 
a walk; perhaps the power of God’s sunshine and 
the free, fresh air of heaven may dispel these per- 
plexities. 

December 4th. The gloomy forebodings of yester- 
day have given way to brighter thoughts, and 
sweeter hopes. I cannot account for these fogs 
that fall at times upon my spiritual being; and 
which, from their more frequent occurrences on 
that day, I have called “Blue Mondays.” My health 
is robust; I preach without feeling any fatigue; 
therefore, I know it is not physical reaction. But 
whatever the cause, it is fortunate for me that they 


12 


Follow Thou Me 


do not last long. If they did, I should be utterly 
unfitted for the duties of my calling. Tonight I 
am to assist in a marriage ceremony. One of my 
members, Florence Rigsley, is to become the bride 
of the Rev. James Andrew Watson, the son of a 
prominent minister in the city. Florence is one of 
the most active workers in the St. Paul's Church; 
a leader of the Young People's Societies; teacher 
in Sunday School, and a devoted member of the 
missionary societies. May God abundantly bless 
their united lives. 

December 5th. Yesterday morning I congratu- 
lated myself that the fogs of “Blue Monday" had 
cleared away, leaving me in a frame of mind to en- 
joy a wedding feast. However, last night, just as I 
began to feel the influence of the scene of splendor, 
suddenly a conviction, similar to that which I had 
felt on Monday, seized my heart ; and this question 
presented itself to my consciousness: “Is this 
Christianity? Is this the teaching of the lowly 
Nazarene, whose test of discipleship was this: Tf 
any man will be my disciple, let him deny him- 
self'?" 

I realized all at once that selfishness is as truly a 
sin against God and humanity as vice itself; and I 
knew that it would be as great a miracle for one to 
be converted to Christ while surrounded by all the 


Follow Thou Me 


13 


subtle allurements of that dainty perfumed life, as 
was the conversion of Tom Callahan. 

I have been wondering ever since if anyone can 
follow Christ in such an atmosphere as that with 
which these people have surrounded themselves. I 
am not sure that I have ever witnessed just such 
a scene as that presented last night. The costly 
array of the bride and her attendants, the jewels 
of gold and precious stones, worn by those who call 
themselves Christians, the brilliant display of costly 
wedding presents, the subtle perfume of rare 
flowers, the glitter of cut-glass and silver plate, the 
magnificent yet harmonious decorations, altogether 
produced such an irresistible charm that few peo- 
ple who have felt it have much relish for real Chris- 
tianity. It is like trying to serve two masters. Yet, 
God forbid that I should judge. 

Mary was impressed in the same way; yet she 
looked a little further, as she usually does, and saw 
the practical as well as the ethical side of the mat- 
ter. After we reached home last night she said 
musingly: “That wedding must have cost enough 
to support both a foreign and a home missionary 
for a year.” I agreed with her, but was too busy 
with my own thoughts to talk. 

This morning at breakfast I said that I was going 
down to the tent meeting, as I wished to know for 


14 


Follow Thou Me 


myself just what was being taught down there. 

Mary answered very promptly, “If you will wait 
until I plan dinner and see after the children a bit, 
I will go with you.” 

“Oh, there is plenty of time,” I answered; “yet 
I doubt whether you would enjoy the meeting, as 
I have heard of some very extravagant things be- 
ing done and said by these people.” 

“Yet,” she answered, “I have been told that they 
are very earnest and unworldly ; and it seems to me 
that I can't associate George Mayhew with any- 
thing fanatical. Anyway, I will go this morning; 
and if it is not a well-conducted meeting, why, I 
need not go any more.” 

The fact is I have some misgivings about Mary 
going to a meeting of that kind. Her conscience 
seems morbidly sensitive, and she has never re- 
covered her wonted spirits since the death of our 
oldest child. I am afraid this teaching will not 
prove wholesome for her. But there, she is calling. 
I shall try to shield her from any fanatical teaching. 

Later. — We reached the tent this fnorning in the 
midst of a testimony meeting. A member of the 
convention, noticing my ministerial attire, invited 
me to take a seat on the stand. This I declined, but 
moved to a seat near the front, on one side of the 
stand. There I could see the congregation. Peo- 


Follow Thou Me 


15 


pie were there from all parts of the city. I noticed 
some of my own flock, — people of thought and cul- 
ture, others gay and thoughtless. Then there were 
people from the “streets and lanes of the city,” and 
from the “highways and hedges of life.” What is 
it that brings this mixed multitude together? Peo- 
ple of such different tastes, and such widely differ- 
ing environment, I always supposed could not 
mingle together either in the church or in the draw- 
ing-room. With the wealthy, cultured class, I have 
always associated the stone church, with its sym- 
metrical architecture, its grand pipe organ, and its 
cushioned pews. With the other classes, I have as- 
sociated the little wooden chapel, or the street 
corner. But here all elements gather from time to 
time under a huge temporary tabernacle. What 
magnet draws them together ? What power causes 
giddy, thoughtless Evelyn Wayne to sit and listen 
quietly to song and sermon? What brings that 
hungry, longing expression into faces that have 
been hardened by earthly care? I tried to find an 
answer to these questions as I sat and listened to 
a sermon that was neither mighty in argument, 
nor eloquent in diction; yet it commanded atten- 
tion, and at its close, many knelt at the rough pine 
bench for prayer. I left the tent with the question 
still unsettled. 


i6 


Follow Thou Me 


On the way home we passed a little group of 
negroes, carrying on an animated conversation. I 
do not know what they were discussing, I heard 
only one sentence." an old weather-beaten philos- 
opher, with impressive gesture, made this statement 
just as we passed the group: “Wall, dere ain't no 
use in talkin'; no man ain’t open to convicshun 
when he is already done went forward in his own 
mind and decided de case.” This quaint little 
speech was not meant for my ears; and yet I still 
hear it. Am I blinded by prejudice? Am I not 
open to conviction? All through this week I have 
been conscious of an inward debate like the follow- 
ing: “These Eleventh Hour Laborers are more or 
less fanatical. Their work is extravagant and un- 
real. Then, too, they appeal to the emotional na- 
ture ; therefore their work will not stand. I appeal 
to the higher conscience of my congregation, and 
address them through the intellect.” 

“How do you know these people are fanatical? 
Have you given them a quiet hearing, unbiased by 
your own opinion? How do you know they appeal 
to the emotions? Is George Mayhew a man who 
would likely be led away by light, emotional, or 
fanatical teaching?” 

“I am a workman of a different type, and preach 
by example as well as from the pulpit. I have 


Follow Thou Me 


17 


never been a worldly person; and I have striven, 
day by day, to furnish my people a living example 
of a humble, earnest Christianity. Of course, I am 
conscious of failure, but still I am pressing on.” 

“But are worldly people really influenced by 
your example to lead holy lives? Have you wit- 
nessed changes wrought in men's lives as a result 
of your ministry? Do you influence abandoned 
sinners to come to Christ?” 

“Perhaps my work is conservative. Christ’s mes- 
sage to one Church was: That which ye have al- 
ready, hold fast till I come.’ ” 

“Are you sure that all, or even the majority of 
your members have saving faith in Christ — some- 
thing to hold till He comes — something that will 
stand the test of His coming? Is there not need 
for radical work in Saint Paul’s Church? Does it 
occur to you that the worldliness that you know 
exists among its members may, in a measure, at 
least, be due to lack of spiritual power on your part ? 
It takes supernatural power to lead souls to Christ 
in any condition of life. Human eloquence can’t 
do it. Personal magnetism and a beautiful example 
may excite admiration; but they can’t lift men out 
of the mire of sin and show them a Saviour. Be- 
sides, do you remember John Inskip, under whose 
preaching you were brought to Christ ? Did he not 


i8 


Follow Thou Me 


give testimony to the same experience and preach 
with the same power as do the leaders in this con- 
vention? Do you recall any very fruitful ministry 
in which these doctrines are not emphasized ?” 

“I suppose they may do good in a way; but 
•what good comes of preaching in these side issues? 
I am told that Dr. Heath, the president of the body, 
actually teaches healing for the body as part of the 
work of redemption; and I am told that tomorrow 
morning he will preach on the 'Second Coming of 
Christ/ Why not preach the gospel of repentance 
to sinners, instead of inviting a promiscuous con- 
gregation to pry into God's own secrets? I won- 
der if he ever heard of Henry Jones, who refused to 
plant a crop because he said that Christ would 
come before it would be harvested? His fanaticism 
caused his family great suffering and privation, 
which he escaped by going around holding meet- 
ings. It is very fitting for men of mature, quiet 
minds to study these things out for themselves; 
but I do not think it safe or wise to preach about 
them. If it were not for these little streaks of fanat- 
icism, I believe I could enter into this meeting with 
interest, even if I do not agree with them in all 
points of doctrine.” 

Anyway, I will go back tomorrow and hear Dr. 
Heath. 


Follow Thou Me 


19 


December 6th. I went to the tent this morning 
strongly entrenched in my own opinion, my own 
theory; and I came home just as much at sea as 
ever. On the way to the meeting I kept saying to 
myself: “To be ready for death is to be ready for 
Christ's coming. I wonder if I had better tell Dr. 
Heath the case of Henry Jones, and warn him of the 
danger of preaching on this subject?" However, I 
did not have the opportunity, for when I reached the 
tent, the leaders of the meeting were engaged in 
prayer. Dr. Heath was kneeling very low, with his 
face buried in his hands, in deep, but silent, inter- 
cession. The sight impressed me very deeply. As 
I stood at the end of the bench, for Mary to pass 
to a seat, she silently knelt and joined in the prayer. 
Almost mechanically I followed her example; but 
I can hardly say that I prayed. My mind was full 
of confusing thoughts. 

By the time the season of prayer was over, the 
tent was rapidly filling. After a song service there 
was the usual testimony meeting. Some of the 
testimonies were, it seemed to me, extravagant; 
others, mechanical and dry; but many were full 
of the very freshness and joy of heaven. 

George Mayhew spoke of his conversion as a 
fact that he had never doubted ; but still his experi- 
ence as a Christian had not been a victorious one. 


20 


Follow Thou Me 


He had long sought an established experience ; and 
at last had found his needs all fully realized in 
Christ. By the grace of God, he had yielded him- 
self, as a lump of clay into the hands of the Divine 
Potter, to be moulded, to be transformed. 

I was busy thinking : “Here is George Mayhew, 
whom I have always regarded as a model type of 
Christian manhood, loyal to the Church, and faith- 
ful to all of her ordinances; one whose ideals of 
Christian living and thinking were far and away 
beyond that of any other young man of my congre- 
gation. A successful business man — wealthy, edu- 
cated, traveled — a social favorite.” I had never 
dreamed of George Mayhew seeking anything that 
did not come in an easy, appropriate way. I did 
not know that he needed a higher, or deeper Chris- 
tian experience; and was greatly surprised when I 
learned that he had found it, of all places, in a tent 
meeting. 

The next to speak was Tom Callahan, who said, 
“I don't suppose God ever saved a greater sinner 
than Tom Callahan. I have heard men speak of the 
time when they prayed at their mother's knee ; but, 
until last Saturday night, I don’t remember ever 
knowing what it was to use God’s name except in 
blasphemy. I knew that there was a God ; and that 
I was a sinner in His sight, but I never dreamed 


Follow Thou Me 


21 


that it was possible for my life to be changed. 
Christian people looked down on me and my busi- 
ness, and they had a right to do it. God only 
knows the blackness of it all. Mothers have begged 
me, with tears, not to sell whiskey to their boys, 
and (may God pity me) to their girls, too. I have 
had little children with downcast eyes plead with 
me to try to get their fathers, and, sometimes, their 
mothers, to come home sober, and bring them some- 
thing to eat.” Here the strong man broke down 
and buried his face in his hands, and wept. Then 
he went on : “My heart bleeds when I think of the 
lives my business has helped to curse ! But God has 
saved me! Glory to His Name! The ground has 
drunk every drop of the accursed liquor that was in 
my bar. Please pray that I may serve this merciful, 
gracious God as faithfully as I have served Satan !” 

While Tom Callahan was talking I kept thinking : 
“What an object lesson for temperance workers!” 
I have heard lecturers read the ioth Psalm, and hurl 
all of its bitter epithets against the saloon-keeper. 
I am not apologizing for the liquor business. I hate 
it, and wish it was truly legislated out of every 
state of the Union, and every country of the world. 
But in fighting the business, let us not forget that 
back of every saloon is a man, and that man has a 
soul, and no matter how soiled that soul has be- 


22 


Follow Thou Me 


come, its value can only be estimated by the price 
that Christ paid for it— His blood! 

Dr. Heath’s sermon was based on two texts: 
“Watch ye and pray always, that ye may be ac- 
counted worthy to escape all these things that shall 
come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man” 
(Luke 21 136) . “And he said unto them. Go ye in- 
to all the world, and preach the gospel to every 
creature” (Mark 16:15). 

He opened his sermon with a short Bible reading, 
which showed that the early Christians were taught 
by the apostles to expect the Lord’s return to earth 
— it was their “blessed hope.” 

At first I tried to rehearse my theories on His 
coming. But, as a matter of fact, I soon found that 
I had thought very little of His coming; and when 
I had thought of it, I had always put it in the dim, 
uncertain, shadowy future — an event that I knew 
would surely come to pass some day. I thought 
He would come after the heathen world should be 
converted; when good should at last triumph over 
evil throughout the world. However, I soon for- 
got to defend my position, and I became engrossed 
in one of the most masterly arguments, as well as 
one of the most deeply spiritual sermons I had ever 
heard. His first text he applied to private individ- 
ual conduct — standing daily before the Son of man, 


Follow Thou Me 


23 


clothed in His righteousness, washed in His blood, 
filled with His Spirit, and watching unto prayer. 
The outcome of such living would be God's great 
throbbing, living love, manifesting itself in the ac- 
tivities of the second text. 

Some of his interpretations of prophecy were new 
to me ; and it will require time for me to study them, 
so as to be able to reject them, or adopt them. How- 
ever, these things did not form the burden of his 
sermon. The point of his argument was directed to 
the practical bearing of his subject upon Christian 
conduct. He lifted an exalted standard : “If Christ 
should come today, are your life and work such 
that you could meet Him with joy? Do you love 
His appearing? Are you doing His will? Is your 
life in harmony with His plan for you? If so, it is 
really a part of His everlasting kingdom; and His 
coming will be the crowning joy of your life — the 
great completion of your task." 

It is hard to describe the effect that these words 
produced upon my inner consciousness. I could not 
assure myself that my life in all points was in har- 
mony with God's plan. Somehow, it seemed as 
if I had forfeited something that, all at once, 
seemed very important. Another thing — this man 
preached like one to whom the simple gospel of the 
Son of man is today a living power — the greatest 


24 


Follow Thou Me 


power in the world: greater than all the evils of 
society; greater than all political wrongs; greater 
than the love of money and all its blight upon man- 
kind; greater than the liquor traffic; greater than 
the superstition and darkness of the heathen world ; 
in short, greater than all the combined forces of hell. 
His preaching was different from the ordinary 
preaching. 

During the altar service that followed the ser- 
mon, an invitation was given for those who had not 
realized the Divine harmony in their lives, to come 
and yield themselves to God ; and I saw Mary quiet- 
ly leave my side, and kneel among the seekers at 
the altar. 

I tried to enter into the spirit of the meeting ; but 
still something seemed to be in the way. I was con- 
scious of a variety of feelings. At times I would 
feel a deep penitent longing to kneel beside Mary 
at the altar, then a vague shivering dread would be 
followed by an impatient desire for the service to 
close. 

Moreover I was rather hurt that Mary should 
seek help in her Christian life without coming to 
me for it. Besides, several of my flock had found 
a new life, or a brighter experience at the tent meet- 
ing. This seemed a reflection on my work as a pas- 
tor, I formed a mental resolve not to go back to 


Follow Thou Me 


25 


another service, and to persuade Mary not to go 
again, thinking that I could teach her when we 
reached home that the old paths were safer than 
new ones. But before the service closed the great 
Teacher spoke to her heart, and I could see in her 
radiant face something that needed no words to ex- 
plain. Yet, I cannot understand why I need to seek 
another work of grace in my heart. I believe in 
growth. 

When we were away from the crowd, Mary said : 
“Will, I really did not know the way was so simple. 
Today I was telling Miss Heath my difficulties, 
failures, and struggles ; and she said : 'My dear, you 
must leave off trying to make yourself holy, and 
simply take Christ for all you need/ Turning to 
Romans 5:10 she read: 'For, if when we were 
enemies, we were reconciled by the death of his Son, 
much more being reconciled, we shall be saved by 
his life/ It all seemed so new, but so sweet and sat- 
isfying. As I began to grasp the truth, a quiet, rest- 
ful peace stole into my heart, pervading my whole 
being.” 

I answered in as firm a tone as I could command : 
''Mary, your life has been beautifully consistent; 
you mustn’t pay too much attention to this sudden 
stirring of your emotions. When you are meet- 


26 


Follow Thou Me 


ing the varied engagements of life, you cannot 
maintain such feelings as these.” 

“I am not talking about feelings — I have just 
learned more about Christ. I don’t think you un- 
derstand me, dear,” she answered gently. 

I am rather sorry now that I said what I did to 
this remark, for I am sure that she was not boasting 
any superior knowledge or spiritual attainment. 
Yet my sense of wounded love made me answer in 
a voice that was cold and stern, complaining of a 
barrier of wonderful knowledge and spiritual under- 
standing suddenly coming between us. 

“Oh, Will,” she said, “please don’t talk that way ! 
I haven’t learned anything new or deep at all. I 
have just found rest.” I made no reply; for I was 
convinced that I did not understand her at all. In 
fact, I was then, and am still, far from being at rest 
in my mind. So we walked on some time in silence. 
I was busy trying to settle this inner turmoil that 
has been stirring to the very center of my being 
these last few days. The little woman who walked 
by my side was silent too; but hers was the deep 
hush that followed the Master’s whisper : “My 
peace I give unto thee.” 

Just before we reached home Mary said in a mu- 
sing sort of way : “I was reading the other day of a 
party crossing an African desert. Thirsty and hot 


Follow Thou Me 


27 


and travel-worn, they looked across the burning 
sand, and saw what appeared to be a sheet of spark- 
ling water ; but when they hastened to quench their 
thirst, they found it was only a mirage. After an- 
other day of weary travel, they really reached an 
oasis. As they rested beneath the welcome shade, 
and drank the cooling water from the spring, I 
imagine they could hardly have been persuaded 
that it was only another mirage !” The little story 
made its own application. 

December 8th. Friday afternoon, and no sermon 
outlined for Sunday morning, or evening! I spent 
yesterday visiting the sick and strangers of my 
flock. Friday morning I always observe a fast, and 
spend the time as nearly as possible in prayer and 
self-examination. 

This afternoon I feel must be used in preparation 
for Sunday. The house is perfectly quiet; and 
yet, for some reason, I cannot collect my 
thoughts; I cannot command my mind to do 
its work. What is the matter? Have these 
strange scenes and experiences, through which I 
have been passing, upset my nerves? I cannot 
help feeling rather glad that the meeting at the tent 
will not continue through another week. 

I have thought of preaching from the text : “But 
grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord 


28 


Follow Thou Me 


and Saviour, Jesus Christ.” I have given the sub- 
ject much thought, and have a store of beautiful il- 
lustrations that I had expected to use; but, some- 
how or other, it seems that they have all vanished 
from my mind, or become insipid, and unsatisfac- 
tory. Usually, when alone in the quiet of my study, 
I can rid myself of all disagreeable thoughts, and 
become absorbed in any work that I wish to do. 
But today, the stillness only oppresses me; and I 
am haunted by the question: “After all, is this a 
suitable text for your congregation ? Would not 
something else be more to the point?” The fact is, 
I am all at sea. 

I tried to quiet my mind by reading some hymns. 
The first one that caught my attention was that 
beautiful hymn from the matchless pen of Charles 
Wesley : 

“Love divine, all loves excelling, 

Joy of heaven to earth come down: 

Fix in us thy humble dwelling, 

All thy faithful mercies crown! 

“Jesus, Thou art all compassion. 

Pure, unbounded love Thou art; 

Visit us with Thy salvation, 

Enter every trembling heart. 


Follow Thou Me 


29 


“Breathe, oh, breathe, Thy loving Spirit 
Into every troubled breast, 

Let us all in Thee inherit 
Let us find that second rest.” 

At this line I laid the book down, I knew the line 
was in the hymn, but it had never troubled me be- 
fore. Why does the author use the term: “second 
rest”? Did not God do a perfect work in my heart 
at conversion? Does God need a second trial? Is 
not God's work always complete? I wish some 
great teacher would come and settle all these ques- 
tions for me, and relieve my mind of all this tur- 
moil. 

One of the songs I heard at the tent rings per- 
sistently in my ears ; I try to hum it ; but the tune 
evades me, and I can recall only a few phrases: 
“Sweet will of God," and “All discords hushed." 
Dr. Heath spoke of lives in harmony with God’s 
will ; and I tried hard to believe that my experience 
was the same as that which he was presenting; only 
I had reached it by a different process — growth. 
Yet, when I asked myself a moment ago : “Is God’s 
will sweet to me?" I could not give a joyous un- 
conditional “Yes!" I could only say: “I have al- 
ways tried to be submissive to God’s providences; 
but I cannot say, ‘God’s will is sweet. I delight to 
do it 9 


30 


Follow Thou Me 


I am reminded of an old poem that used to give 
me great comfort in the early days of my Christian 
life : One stanza runs : 

“Thou sweet, beloved will of God, 

My anchor ground, my fortress hill, 

My spirit’s silent, fair abode, 

In thee 1 hide me, and am still.” 

As I repeat the lines, and recall the tender, sweet 
joy of those early days, somehow they sound like 
the echo of a distant voice, and I am startled by 
this question : “Have you really grown in grace ?” 

It seems that I have suddenly struck my spiritual 
pulse, and am rather alarmed to find that, while I 
may have grown in intellect, in knowledge of some 
things, and in a kind of philosophical patience, still 
my growth in grace is small indeed. 

Perhaps a review of my Christian life may be 
helpful. While a student in college, in a meeting 
held by John Inskip, I experienced a change of heart. 
That one fact in my life is just as real to me as 
my physical birth. I have never had the faintest 
doubt of the reality of that change. In the same 
meeting many claimed what they called a “second 
blessing. ,, But my heart was so changed, and was 
so full of a new, precious joy, that I did not feel the 
need of another blessing then. In my ordination, 


Follow Thou Me 


31 


in answer to the question, “Do you expect to be 
made 'perfect in love’ in this life?” I answered, “I 
do.” The next question was, "Are you groaning 
after it ?” These questions troubled me at the time, 
for I had begun to realize that they suggested an 
experience that I had not attained ; and, to be hon- 
est, I was not groaning after it, either. 

In my course of study, I frequently came across 
the term "perfect love,” or "entire sanctification,” 
and it was generally spoken of as a definite ex- 
perience and a second work of grace. When I read 
the lives of the Fathers and Mothers of the Church, 
my heart was stirred by the downright holiness, 
power, strict unworldliness, and rigid self-denial of 
their lives. I knew that they had a deeper experi- 
ence than I had. After my four years' course was 
finished I gradually took up different reading mat- 
ter — more classical, I told myself. My mind was 
diverted, so to speak, from this line of thought. 
My ideals were unconsciously changed. I never 
dreamed that they had become less spiritual. I 
thought I was becoming more broad-minded. 

As time went on, I became ambitious to "rise” as 
a minister, to be considered an eloquent, philosoph- 
ical preacher. I feel humiliated today when I re- 
alize the extent to which I have been mastered by 
this ambition. When the fact first impressed it- 


32 


Follow Thou Me 


self upon my spiritual consciousness, I asked my- 
self in a startled, frightened way, “Have I fallen 
from grace?” But when I calmly study my rela- 
tions to Christ, I know that in spite of failures, 
shortcomings, and even unfaithfulness, I do not re- 
call a time since my conversion that I have not 
known that by the grace of God I was saved. I 
have no fear of death. Yet I am conscious that 
something is wrong. I recall my Saviour’s words : 
“And they that fell among thorns are they which 
when they have heard, go forth, and are choked 
with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and 
bring no fruit to perfection.” Yes, I see the little 
sickly stalk of grain, choked with a great luxuriant 
growth of thorns, bearing almost no fruit, is a 
striking illustration of my efforts to serve God, 
overshadowed and choked by the thorns of self- 
will, vanity, and ambition. 

The afternoon has passed ; and nothing has been 
written of my sermon but the text. But I am con- 
vinced that I have run across some of the things 
that have hindered the growth in grace of the pas- 
tor of St. Paul’s Church. The terms, “Inbred Sin” 
and the “Carnal Mind” are no longer abstract 
theories. I now know them in a practical way, 
having found them fully explained in my own heart. 
More than that, I am convinced that there is a life 


Follow Thou Me 


33 


of victory and power actually lived by many of 
God’s children in this present day ; and whether the 
“Second Blessing” theory is correct or not from a 
theological standpoint, still I know that I have not 
yet reached or attained this experience. God help 
me! 

December gth. Yesterday as I completed the 
above entry, my mind was so entirely convinced 
of the absolute need of a deeper work of grace in 
my heart that I felt that the struggle was almost 
ended. This proves how little we know of our- 
selves. 

I left my study for a walk. I had not gone far 
when I met Professor Woodson, coming to ask 
me to go with him to look at some books that had 
been presented to the College Library. Professor 
Woodson is a member of St. Paul’s Church; and 
since I came here a warm friendship has sprung up 
between us. His lofty ideals and aesthetic nature 
give his company a peculiar charm for me. He is 
scholarly, classical, and, at times, a brilliant con- 
versationalist. Yesterday afternoon he was at his 
best, and his company was a striking contrast to the 
solemn, serious thoughts that had occupied my 
mind all day. For, while this friend of mine is a 
loyal churchman, still his knowledge of Christ 
seems to be historical and classical rather than ex- 


34 


Follow Thou Me 


perimental. Anyway, I did not feel like showing 
him the deep convictions that had pierced my heart. 
I write this only to show the bearing that his com- 
pany had upon my thoughts and convictions on 
yesterday. It is, without doubt, moral weakness 
to feel that another person has power over one's 
very conscience; but in this humble journal I must 
write the whole truth, even when it is unwelcome 
to my secret thoughts. 

I had been in Professor Woodson's company only 
a few minutes, when the old life reasserted its pow- 
er, and threw around me all of its subtle, alluring 
charm ; and the convictions that had troubled me so 
much seemed but a nightmare as I yielded myself 
to the influence of this friend. 

I went home with the firm belief that the life 
which I had been contemplating was practically 
impossible to a man with my environments. While 
this decision seemed to excuse my attitude, still it 
failed to give me rest of conscience. In fact, I was 
“like a wave of the sea, driven with the wind, and 
tossed." 

Almost immediately after evening prayer, I went 
to my study, feeling that I had settled, or rather 
hushed, the questions that had been claiming my 
attention all through the week. I was really too 
tired to prepare a sermon, so picking up a copy of 


Follow Thou Me 


35 


our church paper from the table, I soon became 
absorbed in an article from the pen of one of our 
leading laymen, headed '‘The Achievements of Our 
Church.” The writer dwelt upon her wealth, 
enumerating her handsome church buildings with- 
in the state. Saint Paul’s being among the number. 
He called attention to her magnificent institutions 
of learning, and her educated ministry. He men- 
tioned her orphanages and missionary enterprises. 
Strange to say, the article spoke only of material 
wealth; no mention was made of spiritual power. 
I was reminded of the report of my year’s work just 
as I had given it at the annual gathering of my 
church. I took the little paper from my pocket, 
and read it over. I leaned my head against the 
back of my chair, and all the emotions that were 
shaking my being subsided, and I sank into a deep 
repose. Perhaps what followed was only a dream. 

I thought I was reading this report as I had read 
it a few weeks ago. I felt that we were making a 
fine showing. But, as I raised my eyes, the scene 
was suddenly changed; my gaze was smitten by a 
dazzling light; and instead of the chairman, there 
stood One whose glory and majesty proclaimed 
Him to be “King of kings, and Lord of lords.” I 
had never dreamed of such kingliness. I sank as 
if consumed by the very brightness of His presence. 


36 


Follow Thou Me 


When my head sank to the spot where His feet 
shone as bright brass, I noticed within the bril- 
liant appearance the forms of human feet ; and every 
ray of the burnished brass was focussed in nail 
wounds. A strong hand grasped mine; and, as I 
felt the uplifting touch, my palm was pressed 
against other nail wounds. The “voice like the 
sound of many waters” was marvelously sweet, as 
He said, “Fear not, I am he that liveth and was 
dead.” I shall never forget the supreme sweetness 
of that moment when I seemed to be in the glo- 
rious consuming presence of the King of kings and 
heard Him say to me, “Fear not.” As at first I 
was smitten by His glory, now I was melted by His 
love and knew that His glory and majesty were but 
the rays of the sun. The very essence of His Being 
was love ! I became conscious of a strange pervading 
light, revealing spiritual truths as the wonderful 
X-rays penetrate material bodies. Nothing could 
be hidden: there were no more secrets, nor differ- 
ence of opinion. I saw things according to their 
real, eternal values. By this new light, the report 
of my year’s work was reviewed. I did not need to 
read it, for each item had been recorded in “The 
Book,” and indexed in my memory, and the two 
balanced perfectly. Each item of the report was 
answered by the Son of man. 


Follow Thou Me 


37 


St. Paul’s Church. 

1. Lay members, seven hundred and fifty. 

“And there shall be one fold and one shepherd.” 

“Alas!” I thought, with a sad heart, “what a 

small proportion of the members of St. Paul’s 
Church have I reason to hope are really in the fold 
of Christ.” 

2 . Church Buildings — one. 

How well I recalled the pride with which I had 
added this statement. “We have almost completed 
a handsome new stone church, which, when fin- 
ished, will be one of the most beautiful churches in 
the city. It will cost $100,000.” 

The Master answered: “These things sayeth the 
Amen, the faithful and true Witness, the Begin- 
ning of the creation of God, Because thou sayest, 
I am rich and increased with goods, and have need 
of nothing ; and knowest not that thou art wretched 
and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked, I 
counsel thee to buy of me gold, tried in the fire, 
that thou mayest be rich, and white raiment that 
thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy 
nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes 
with eye-salve that thou mayest see. As many as I 
love I rebuke and chasten; be zealous therefore 
and repent,” “As for these things which ye behold, 
the days will come, in which there shall not be left 


38 


Follow Thou Me 


one stone upon another that shall not be thrown 
down.” 

I felt poor indeed as I saw the beautiful unfin- 
ished church that had occupied so much time and 
thought, and on which we had lavished so much 
more money than we had given for the spread of the 
gospel — yes, our massive, elegant, stone church, 
with its costly memorials, was really going down in 
a crash, while its worldly, deluded, purse-proud 
members were vainly trying to hide themselves un- 
der its stones ! In vain I wished that we had been 
more interested in the world’s greatest need. 
Somehow I could not help feeling that a simpler 
church, more needy people fed and clothed, and the 
gospel of the kingdom more widely proclaimed 
would have been more pleasing to the Master. 

3. Pastor’s salary, assessed $2,500; paid $2,500. 
The same true loving voice replied : “The laborer is 
worthy of his hire.” 

I remembered when I had labored cheerfully on 
a toilsome mountain mission for $350! Had I un- 
consciously become mercenary? 

4. Foreign Missions, assessed $750; paid $750. 

Domestic Missions, assessed $425 ; paid $425. 

There was something so sweet and compelling 

in the tones that answered : “Go ye into all the 
world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” 


Follow Thou Me 


39 


“For God so loved the world that he gave his only 
begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him 
should not perish, but have everlasting life.” 

We had given all that we were asked for, and 
thought our report sounded well; but when con- 
sidered from the viewpoint of eternity, and com- 
pared with God’s way of giving, it seemed small 
and mean. I remembered the Master’s words : 
“The children of this world are, in their generation, 
wiser than the children of light,” and I wept to 
think how little we had invested in heavenly treas- 
ure, compared with what we could have done, by 
self-denial. 

5. What is being done for the Orphanage? The 
Church supports three orphans, the Sunday School, 
two, individuals, three. 

“Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the 
least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto 
me. 

The commendation was sweet; but I sighed when 
I realized that we should have done at least tenfold 
as much as we had. I seemed to see a multitude of 
innocent, helpless children, left to suffer from 
hunger and neglect, while we were living in 
needless self-indulgence, or busying ourselves 
with undertakings that belonged to earth. 
I understood as never before the meaning of Paul’s 


40 


Follow Thou Me 


words : “If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall 
suffer loss : but he himself shall be saved ; yet so 
as by fire.” 

6. One item more, just as I had given it before. 
The spiritual condition of my church is not what I 
would want it. While there are a few earnest, de- 
voted Christians among its members, still there is 
a strong spirit of worldliness and pleasure-seeking 
among the majority of those whose names are on 
my church roll. I have preached against worldli- 
ness in all of its forms; I have dealt honestly with 
all prevalent social evils, as I have seen them; I 
have encouraged the Young People’s Society in 
every department of its work. Still I have been 
utterly unable to stem the fearful tide of sinful 
pleasure that bears down upon all classes of peo- 
ple in the city, especially the young people.” 

The voice “like the sound of many waters” spoke 
in tones of authority: “The things which are im- 
possible with men are possible with God. Come 
after me, and I will make you to become a fisher 
of men; for I have much people in this city.” 

I caught a glimpse of the possibilities of the life 
of power that I had not attained, — and yet it was 
my privilege. Another lost opportunity thrust it- 
self upon my consciousness! While I had been 
preaching what some people were pleased to call 


Follow Thou Me 


4I 1 


“strong sermons of deep thought''; while I had, as 
I supposed, been lifting a high standard of Chris- 
tian living, appealing to the higher conscience, etc., 
many of my people were rushing eagerly after the 
sensuous, destructive pleasures of this life; others 
were grinding out an existence of servitude in the 
miserable worship of the Golden Calf ; while some, 
yes, as awful as the reality was, some had dropped 
into Christless graves with their names on the roll, 
which I carried near my heart! I saw that in the 
sermons I had preached, showing the vanity and 
emptiness of a life of sin, I did not manifest a Sa- 
viour's love, nor tell His power to save. It was 
much as if I had said: “Don't you see what ugly, 
foolish things you do? Don't you know these 
things will destroy you? It was no wonder that 
men had gone on without heeding. I became des- 
perate ; moreover, I felt a tender, pitying, yearning 
love for all classes and conditions of deluded hu- 
manity. “Master," I cried, “let me go back, and 
tell them that Thou canst save. I see my failure, 
and repent; but I pray Thee, let me try again!" 
In my eagerness, I made an effort to move; but 
felt that loving, thrilling touch of the wounded 
Hand again, and heard again the matchless voice 
of love and authority saying, “Tarry, till ye be en- 
dued with power from on high !" 


42 


Follow Thou Me 


On this I awoke, and gazed around wondering. 
On the floor at my feet lay my report. I picked it 
up quietly; and feeling that it was duly recorded, 
I dropped it into the waste basket. 

My dream seemed so real that I went to the 
window and looked out. Everything was quiet, 
the city was lighted by a full moon, while the mid- 
night stars had taken their watch. In plain view 
the substantial masonry of St. Paul’s Church de- 
clared that His Coming was yet delayed. 

I was fully awake, and asked myself the ques- 
tion: “What does it mean?” I realized, in my in- 
most being, that I was facing a crisis in my Chris- 
tian life. As a strong man armed, I had kept my 
house, defended my theory with all my strength; 
but a stronger than I had come upon me, destroyed 
my armor, broken up my house, and was fast de- 
stroying my goods. 

I renewed the fire, and settled down to face the 
issue. I took from my pocket a little Testament, 
in which I honestly sought help and guidance. As I 
was turning the leaves, my attention was arrested 
by these words in the twelfth chapter of St. John: 
“The hour is come that the Son of man should be 
glorified: Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a 
corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it 
abideth alone ; but, if it die, it bringeth forth much 


Follow Thou Me 


43 


fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it, and he 
that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto 
life eternal. If any man serve me, let him follow 
me; and where I am, there shall also my servant 
be; if any man serve me, him will my Father honor. 
Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? 
Father, save me from this hour; but for this hour 
came I unto this hour. Father, glorify thy name. 
There came a voice from heaven saying, I have 
both glorified it, and will glorify it again. 

“ Jesus answered and said, This voice came, not 
because of me, but for your sakes. Now is the 
judgment of this world; now shall the prince of this 
world be cast out. And I, if I be lifted up from the 
earth, shall draw all men unto me.” 

As I read this passage, I became deeply conscious 
of this fact — I was facing a death — yes, a death that 
I dreaded more than the mere dissolution of soul 
and body. It was the crucifixion of self. I had 
never felt more helpless or burdened. I resolved 
to sit down calmly, and count the cost. 

My wife and children I had long ago entrusted to 
God’s keeping. I renewed this covenant, feeling 
that Mary’s recent consecration of herself helped 
to make the covenant more perfect. Therefore I 
realized that my family would not stand in the way 
of my leading a life of singular devotion to Christ, 


44 


Follow Thou Me 


and very special separation from the world. The 
issue was this: “Will you give up forever your 
claim to the flattering titles that you have loved 
so long; and, instead of being what men call 'an 
able minister/ or 'eloquent pulpit orator/ will you 
become My messenger? One thing more, are you 
willing to be misunderstood and criticized, while 
you seek to make yourself of 'no reputation’ ?” Here 
followed the death struggle. These things seem 
as worthless and insignificant today as the little 
brown husk that the grain threw off to become a 
stalk of wheat. But they seemed real only a few 
hours ago — a part of my very being. The more I 
looked at the beautiful, fruitful life, the stronger 
became my desire to realize its wonderful possi- 
bilities. I began to abhor the old self-life. Desire 
was growing into Will. 

As I sank upon my knees in a weakness that was 
akin to despair, from somewhere there came the 
power to say, *'I will,” and I yielded to God, and 
He transformed me. How? I can no more tell 
that than I can describe the secret of LIFE, that 
causes the little brown seed, under certain condi- 
tions, to give up its existence as a seed and be- 
come a stalk of wheat. I only know that something 
was done that I had no power to do. 
I was conscious of the living, loving, life-giv- 


Follow Thou Me 


45 


ing presence of God within my being, while a gen- 
tle yet consuming love pervaded every recess of 
my being. I buried my face in my hands, and said 
in awed tones : “My Lord and my God !” 

“Through faith I see Thee face to face ; 

I see Thee face to face, and live! 

In vain I have not wept and strove ; 

Thy nature and Thy name is Love** 

When I told Mary of the events of last night, 
she said in a low, happy voice, “Thank God !” Then 
after a moment of blissful, peaceful silence, she 
added gently, “I believed it was coming, Will, some 
time. God answers so abundantly, like the gra- 
cious Father that He is ! This seems like a second 
wedding morning, in which we are made one in 
Christ, to stand together as His witnesses, to labor 
together in His strength, and to plead together 
His promises. Two are so much stronger than 
one.” 

“Amen,” I answered fervently. 


CHAPTER II. 

“Whereupon, I was not disobedient unto the heavenly 
vision.” 

I had walked life’s path with an easy tread, 

Had followed where comfort and pleasure led; 

And then by chance, in a quiet place, 

I met my Master face to face 

I met Him, and knew Him, and blushed to see 
That His eyes, full of sorrows, were fixed on me; 

And I faltered, and fell at His feet that day, 

While my castles melted, and vanished away; 

Melted and vanished, and in their place 
I saw naught else but my Master’s face; 

And I cried aloud, “Oh, make me meet 
To follow the prints of Thy wounded feet!” 

My thought is now for the souls of men, 

I have lost my life to find it again, 

E’er since alone in that holy place 
My Master and I stood face to face. 

— Author Unknown. 

December 15th I attended another service at the 
tent, and saw the work and the workers of this 
great organization from a different viewpoint. In- 
stead of going as a critic to see what was being 


Follow Thou Me 


4 7 


done, I went with a feeling of fellowship to add my 
prayers and testimony to theirs. I did this with- 
out feeling it to be a cross. I wanted to tell the 
throng of people who gathered there what Christ 
had done for me. I had absolutely no concern 
about what would be thought or said concerning 
the stand I had taken. I was at rest. When I 
thought of God, it was with a sense of harmony 
that I had never experienced before, and quiet hal- 
lelujahs welled up from the depths of my being. 
When I thought of man, it was with a tender, for- 
giving, patient love, that rejoiced with the saved 
and grieved over the lost with a kind of hopeful 
grief as I thought of Christ's power to save. 

In the limited opportunity that I had of studying 
these people, I learned this : each one had invariably 
sought and found a definite experience of sanctifica- 
tion, or, as some expressed it, they had received the 
Holy Spirit. Many of them were men and women 
of unmistakable intelligence and deep culture. 
Others had received their only education in Dr. 
Heath's Bible School, and their only culture from 
the refining power of the religion of Jesus Christ 
and association with other Christians. Although 
this difference is very evident, still it causes no dis- 
cord; all alike are servants of the Most High God. 

Another thing that impresses me very much is 


48 


Follow Thou Me 


their faith. Prayer with them is direct intercourse 
with the Father in heaven in the name of His Son, 
the Saviour of men. Such prayer brings results. 
Men and women were saved during the meeting 
whom I had almost believed to be past redemption. 

These are the characteristics that I now see in 
Dr. Heath, and the majority of his co-workers. 
But there were some who took part in the meeting 
who seemed to take a peculiar delight in the whole- 
sale denunciation of the church and the ministry. I 
know, from personal experience and close observa- 
tion, that much that was said along these lines is 
sadly true. Still I doubt the wisdom of this kind 
of preaching, for it hardly ever savors of the 
Spirit of Him who wept over Jerusalem and said, 
“How often would I have gathered thy children 
together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens un- 
der her wings, and ye would not.” 

I am not apologizing for the inconsistencies of 
church members nor for the lack of power in the 
ministry. I know the evil exists; but it is a cause 
for weeping, and not an occasion for sarcastic ut- 
terances and light caricatures. The situation re- 
minds me of a scene like this : The Ship of Zion 
has drifted from her moorings. All around her are 
perishing men and women, whom she has little 
power to rescue while many of her crew are in dan- 


Follow Thou Me 


49 


ger. Here are men who have manned a life-boat 
and come to the rescue ; but instead of throwing out 
the life-line to the drowning men and women all 
around them, they spend the precious moments in 
casting harsh epithets at the stately vessel that has 
failed to know her possibilities and her dangers. 
O Church of the Living God, arise, put on thy 
beautiful garments, and look forth as the morning, 
fair as the moon, and terrible as an army with ban- 
ners. 

Apart from these instances of harsh judgment on 
the part of a few, the Convention and the meet- 
ing that followed proved to be the greatest spiritual 
force that has struck the city in years; and no one 
has greater reasons to thank God for it than I. 

December 21st. Another blessed Monday has 
come into my life ; and I verily believe I have found 
a cure for blue Mondays. During the last two 
weeks I have had very little time to prepare elabor- 
ate sermons ; and my old sermons are as sounding 
brass and tinkling cymbals, when compared to the 
glorious message of salvation that now rings in my 
ears. Besides, much of the time I used to spend in 
research I now find necessary to spend in prayer 
and in reading God’s Word. The result is I receive a 
message that seems to have a living power, hither- 
to unknown. 


50 


Follow Thou Me 


As I told my congregation of the spiritual con- 
flict through which I had passed, and the glorious 
victory that God had granted me, I saw on many 
faces a look of longing that I had never seen be- 
fore. I rejoice in the hope that I shall yet see 
much people in this city saved. 

December 23rd. Peace still reigns within my 
heart — quiet, restful, joyous peace! This peace re- 
minds me of the peace that follows a storm when 
we rejoice so much in the calm, that, for a moment, 
we forget the destruction that the storm has left. 
However, there soon follow busy, hopeful days of 
reconstruction. 

I find that the Spirit of God, as a rushing mighty 
wind, has destroyed much in my life and work as 
a minister of the gospel — old principles have been 
cast out, old methods of work have been demol- 
ished; and now I find that there must follow a 
period of readjustment. I believe it will be profit- 
able to spend a little while today reviewing the 
ruins that I may rebuild in wisdom and not in 
rashness. 

First: As I have already confessed, I fear that 
my mind has been overburdened with the building 
of the new church, while the more enduring work 
of seeking the lost has been left undone. Besides, 
there are many things connected with the building 


Follow Thou Me 


5 * 

of this church that cannot be for the praise of 
God. There is the pride with which it is pointed 
out as one of the finest buildings in the city. 
There remains a troublesome debt on the build- 
ing. Much of the money has been raised by 
means that private individuals would think it a 
disgrace to employ for themselves. Yet the 
name of the church, the “Bride of the Lamb,” has 
been prostituted by such things as “voting con- 
tests,” “grab-bags,” trashy entertainments, etc. I 
have frowned on these doubtful means of raising 
funds; but that has not stopped them. Putting all 
these things together, I am convinced that we 
should have built a plainer church in which only 
clean, honest money was employed. Lord, forgive 
us ! 

I wonder if it were not lack of faith in their 
Lord's return that caused Christians to begin build- 
ing stone churches. Or, in other words, if they had 
worshiped in more temporary buildings, while the 
teaching expressed in marble, mosaic, and stained 
glass had been the more practical and Christ-like 
lessons of feeding the hungry, clothing *the naked, 
and spreading the gospel, would not Christ's re- 
turn have been hastened by their faith as mani- 
fested in such works as these? 

In my pastoral work I recall a few instances 


52 


Follow Thou Me 


when I have really sought the lost, and visited the 
stranger within the gates, but generally, I fear, 
my visits have been mere social calls, in which I 
can trace very few of the footprints of my Master, 
who “went about doing good.” 

We have a large Young People's Society in 
which all departments of work are carried on. But 
I can see that I have done much surface work here. 
I have influenced unsaved young people to take 
part in the various departments, thus leading them 
to believe they are serving God while they have not 
first come to Him for salvation. Is this not try- 
ing to persuade a branch that it can bear fruit 
without vital connection with the Vine? Help me, 
my Saviour, to deal faithfully, truly, and tenderly 
with these young lives, and do Thou lead them to 
Thyself, and send them forth to whatever service 
in the world Thou hast for them. 

I am reminded just here of superficial work in 
our revival meetings. The first year of my pastor- 
ate here I engaged the services of a popular evangel- 
ist. The next year I exchanged work with a 
brother pastor, with about the same results both 
years. At each meeting some joined the church, 
but so far as I can see their lives are unchanged. 

Both years we had a special choir selected for the 
meeting composed of the very best musical talent 


Follow Thou Me 


53 


available without regard for the fact that many of 
these singers were absolute strangers to the gospel 
which they sang. 

Feeling, I suppose, that it was too much to ex- 
pect for people to care enough for salvation to 
kneel and seek it at the altar in prayer, we asked 
those who desired prayer to stand, kneel at their 
seats, or raise a hand — the proposition being made 
easier to suit those least inclined to make a move. 
Quite a number at times would accept some of 
these propositions. Then at the close of a service, 
those who wanted to lead a better life were asked 
to come and shake hands with the preacher, and 
a crowd would accept this rather vague invitation. 

God forbid that I should judge any who ac- 
cepted these propositions. I only know that these 
methods failed. There were, no doubt, honest 
hearts among those who asked for prayer, signified 
a desire for a better, life, or sought membership in 
the church. Perhaps some have been disappointed 
that our prayers were not availing, or that there 
was no magic in the preacher’s hands to help them 
into a better life, or that church membership did 
not help them more. 

My God, teach me how to show dying men and 
women a living, powerful Saviour! 

December 24th. I am about to record an incident 


54 


Follow Thou Me 


that seems, at first thought, somewhat out of place 
in a minister’s journal ; and yet it so closely concerns 
the young life of my church that I feel perhaps that 
it will not be altogether amiss. This morning five 
young ladies, members of the “Junior Aid,” came 
to ask Mary’s assistance in an entertainment the 
society has planned to give during the holidays, 
the proceeds of which are to go to help lift the 
church debt. The “Amateur Theatrical Company” 
has promised them the use of some of the scenery, 
stage fixtures, and costumes used in playing “Ben 
Hur.” They are preparing a program of Christmas 
music and tableaux. They came to ask Mary to 
represent the Madonna in the “Adoration of the 
Magi.” Jessie Mauldin rehearsed their plans to me 
when I came in, and Clara Armstrong added, mis- 
chievously, “We had not planned to have Joseph 
present, but your coming in just now reminded me 
of it; and you would make a very appropriate 
Joseph, with a few such appliances as a wig of 
flowing hair, a patriarchal beard, and an Eastern 
costume, all of which we are in a position to fur- 
nish. What do you say about going on the stage? 
You might make your mark: who knows?” 

Clara is a thoughtless girl, with a keen sense of 
humor; and any one would easily guess that she 
knows more of the world's fun than she does of 


Follow Thou Me 


55 


its sorrows. I joined the others in a hearty laugh 
and said : “If Mrs. Ellwood goes on the stage, why 
I will have to go, too, I suppose.” 

After Mary’s firm but gentle refusal, Rose Wood- 
son said in a disappointed tone, “We were so anx- 
ious to have this tableaux on our program ; it would 
add so much to our entertainment, and we do not 
know of any one that would suit the part better 
than you and little William.” 

Mary laughed heartily at the mention of Baby 
William. She said, “Why, William is asleep be- 
fore eight o’clock.” Then she added gravely, “My 
dear girls, I really am sorry to have to disappoint 
you, but I think every scene in the life of Christ too 
sacred to impersonate for amusement. Then, too, 
I do not believe it just right to raise funds for the 
church by any such methods.” 

“Why Mrs. Ellwood!” Jessie Mauldin answered, 
“this will be a strictly high-class entertainment.” 
“Certainly,” Mary said, “I could not associate you 
girls with anything else. Perhaps that makes it 
a little harder for me to define my position. You 
would expect me to object to a ‘Donkey Party/ 
But even a good entertainment, when held ‘for the 
benefit of the church,’ places the church in a false 
light.” 

Jessie answered, “I am sure I love my church, 


Follow Thou Me 


56 

and would do anything for it. Alice and I each 
gave up a trip to the Exposition, and gave every 
cent of the money to the building fund ; and now I 
wish so much to see the debt lifted so that we can 
have it dedicated. I am sure I can see no harm in 
having a sacred concert and some good tableaux 
for the purpose.” 

Alice Mayhew said thoughtfully, “Mrs. Ellwood, 
I have never thought of the matter in that light 
before. I believe you are right.” 

Clara Armstrong said, “I have helped in all sorts 
of enterprises for the church. I have spelled in 
Spelling Bees, read in Dime Readings, dressed for 
‘Tacky Parties’; I have eaten ice cream and oysters, 
and sold ice cream and oysters (two for a nickel, 
at that). Then I have dressed and sold rag dolls 
and bride dolls ; in fact, I have done so much along 
this line that I have the name of being quite a 
church worker, although I must confess that I 
do it more for the fun that I get out of it than for 
any thought of the welfare of the church. I have a 
plan in my head now, which would furnish more 
fun and bring in more money than anything we 
have tried yet. A crowd of people would come 
to a Fancy Ball just because they want to; 
then a few would come because it is for the 
church.” 


Follow Thou Me 


57 


“Do hush, Clara,” Jessie Mauldin said impatient- 
ly: “that is altogether far-fetched.” 

“I don’t know that it is,” Clara answered. “We 
generally imitate the world in all our entertainments 
for the church just as closely as we dare. You 
know people would always prefer the genuine ar- 
ticle to the very best imitation. I guarantee that 
everybody who would take part would be perfect- 
ly satisfied because they would get value received 
for their money in pure fun; and that would be 
better than buying what you do not want, or pay- 
ing for something you do not get just because it 
is for the church. I would rather dance than do 
anything else; there are others who would rather 
eat ; and still others, pious, intellectual sort of peo- 
ple, who would rather attend lectures and sacred 
concerts. Since it is a matter of pleasing one’s 
self, why not have the Ball?” 

After Jessie’s remonstrance, no one treated 
Clara’s remarks with any seriousness. 

Josie Ames had been very enthusiastic about the 
concert; but while Mary was talking about the im- 
propriety of raising money in this way for the 
church, she seemed very thoughtful and regretted 
that she had not been more self-denying. 

Rose Woodson did not seem at all interested in 
the discussion : in fact, she became restless, and 


Follow Thou Me 


58 

seemed rather desirous that it should close. 

As they arose to go, Mary said very lovingly: 
“My dear girls, Christ wants your lives more than 
all the money you can raise; and there is no tell- 
ing the beautiful things Christ can do with a life 
that really belongs to Him! What do you say, 
Josie?” she asked, laying her hand on the young 
woman’s shoulder. 

“I believe I do belong to Him,” Josie answered 
faintly; and I was afraid I detected in her answer 
the tones of one who was already beginning to fol- 
low at a distance. 

Alice Mayhew said, “Mrs. Ell wood, if I had talked 
with you before we had the entertainment an- 
nounced in the papers, I believe I should not take 
part in it.” 

Some of the others answered in rather relieved 
tones: “Yes, it is too late now to make any 
changes.” 

O Spirit of God, sweet and convincing, Thou 
only canst show these young people the lightness 
and vanity of these things, and lead them into lives 
of real service. 

December 25th. “Glory to God in the highest, 
and on earth peace, good will toward men.” This 
glorious song has been ringing in my heart today, 
as a matter of actual and marvelous experience. 


Follow Thou Me 


59 


“For unto you is born this day in the city of David 
a Saviour/’ I am overcome with gladness, and 
good will, and joy, and longing to tell the story, 
as I realize how the world’s need is so fully and 
wonderfully met in the power, and love, and all- 
sufficiency expressed in that one word Saviour! 

Since last Christmas, we have passed through 
deep waters. Henry, our eldest son, a merry, lov- 
ing little lad, suddenly sickened and died. He was 
one of the brightest joys of my life, but it is not of 
my own grief that I am thinking. His mother was 
almost crushed by a sorrow that she struggled 
bravely to bear. She was not rebellious ; but, some- 
how, the wound did not heal. 

Last night, after the children were asleep, Mary 
and I were sitting alone before the fire. Two sug- 
gestive little stockings hung from the mantel. Both 
of us were thinking of the little boy who had gone 
before, but neither of us said anything for a while. 
Then Mary turned toward me a face that was radi- 
ant with joy, although tears stood in her eyes. She 
said, “Will, you know I used to dread the approach 
of Christmas, knowing how much we would miss 
Henry; but I was never happier with them all 
around me than I am tonight with one in heaven.” 

“Yes,” I answered, “I was thinking of him too, 
thinking of him, as looking into the face of God, 


6o 


Follow Thou Me 


seeing more of love than our earthly eyes can be- 
hold” 

She clasped her hands upon my knee and said 
thoughtfully, “One day I was thinking of our angel 
boy ; and I almost reproached myself, when I real- 
ized, for the first time since Henry went away, 
that I could joyfully say, Thy will be done/ In- 
stantly a healing, restful fact came home to my 
heart in these words: ‘Surely he hath born our 
griefs, and carried our sorrows/ With my own 
sorrow turned into joy, I find that I have entered 
into fellowship with the world’s great Sorrow 
Bearer; and my heart has become tender towards 
all forms of human woe. 

“The other day my attention was called to a 
family in destitute condition. I went to see them, 
and found among the children a little boy just 
about Henry’s size. So I brought out all of his 
clothing, mending the little half- worn pieces; I 
packed them all in his little trunk with his toys 
and books. I thought at first that I would keep his 
Bible Story and scrap-book, but I remembered how 
they had pleased our little boy, and I knew they 
would gladden the heart of another; I have kept 
nothing stored away but sent all of his little be- 
longings to gladden the heart of the little boy 
whose life is so bare of comforts. Don’t you think, 


Follow Thou Me 


61 


if Henry can know about what we are doing, that it 
will please him?” 

“I am sure of it,” I answered, “and, little mother, 
I believe I understand a little better the wonderful 
announcement made by St. John: 'And the Word 
was made flesh and dwelt among us, and we be- 
held his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of 
the Father, full of grace and truth/ ” 

Together we thanked God for His unspeakable 
Gift, and praised Him for a child in heaven, and 
for the sweet lesson sorrow has taught. 

December 30th. We had quite a large number 
present last evening at prayer-meeting. Tom Cal- 
lahan was present, and spoke of the joy and peace 
that Christ has given him. I couldn't help thinking 
of the contrast between this Christmas, and all that 
are passed in the life of this redeemed man. 

A glance at the papers shows that the frivolities 
of the season have gone on as usual here in the 
city. We hear of drunkenness and rioting on the 
part of some, while others pass the time in giddy, 
unmeaning social diversions. A week of forgetting 
of God! Poor, deluded humanity, how is it that 
you remember the birthday of the Christ-child, and 
yet keep it in a manner so different from His teach- 
ing and spirit? 


CHAPTER III. 


January ist. “Behold, I make all things new.” 
My God, I thank Thee for this new year as it lies 
before me unsoiled by sin, unmarred by mistakes. 
Its marvelous opportunities make me afraid to 
make resolutions; so trembling with fear of spoil- 
ing this new page, I creep up a little closer to Thee, 
my Father, and ask Thee daily to transform me 
by the renewing of my mind that I may daily 
“prove what is that good, and acceptable, and per- 
fect will of God.” 

January 4th. Yesterday was a day of many 
mercies. At both morning and evening service I 
realized the presence of God. I was melted into 
nothingness as I administered the holy sacra- 
ment. I was never so conscious of the presence of 
God in any service before. “Till he come” never 
seemed so full of meaning. 

I announced at both services yesterday that we 
would observe the week of prayer, beginning this 
evening. I have never observed it in my work 
before, because so few attend prayer-meeting. 


Follow Thou Me 


63 


I feel moved to make some pastoral calls this 
morning. Love of Christ, patient, sweet, unchang' 
ing, teach me to love the sheep of Thy pasture here, 
even the ones who are not in sympathy with the 
real gospel of Christ. 

Later. When I left home this morning, the sun 
was bright and warm ; and with the prayer for love 
and patience softening my heart, I started out on 
a round of calls, hoping that many might be in- 
duced to attend this call to prayer. When I re- 
turned, the sky was covered with gray, threatening 
clouds; and my faith likewise was dim. At first 
I was tempted to believe that my prayer for love 
had not reached the throne at all. 

At every home, office, or place of business where 
I called, I invariably called attention to the “week 
of prayer”; but found that nearly all to whom I 
spoke had business or social engagements which 
they considered far more binding than any religious 
obligations. 

I was fully depending on George Mayhew for 
much help during the week, but found that he had 
gone North to study Settlement Work and might 
be away all the week. 

On my way home I was accosted by a friend, 
who made free to tell me some of the things that 
have been said about me recently, the chief item 


6 4 


Follow Thou Me 


being a remark from some of the leading members 
of my church, to the effect that if all this had 
occurred before I entered upon a new year's work, 

I should have been removed, as St. Paul's Church 
needed a strong man as pastor and not one that 
would take to fanatical teaching. Ordinarily, I 
should have asked the brother not to tell me these 
things, but I was feeling discouraged before I met 
him, and now I began to feel persecuted. However, 
I was graciously kept from saying anything harsh. 
By the time I reached home I was disheartened and 
almost blue. I know there are great souls like 
Phillips Brooks who would not have been disturbed 
by these things, but with a broad, Christ-like sym- 
pathy, would have been very patient with these 
fellow creatures of the dust. However, I had my 
lesson to learn. And it is the lesson gained that 
causes me to make this entry. 

I stopped downstairs only long enough to tell 
Mary of the discouragements of the morning; and, 
while I seldom repeat anything like gossip, I also 
told her what had been said about me! She an- 
swered simply, “We can pray for them, dear." 
“Yes,” I answered drearily, “we can pray”; but I 
am afraid the admission did not imply much faith. 
I went up to my study, closed the door, and sat 
down to think. At first I wondered if it were really 


Follow Thou Me 


65 


worth while to preach these great truths any longer 
to people so “blinded by the god of this world” as 
to have no time for ,a week of prayer. Amid the 
clamor of these bitter thoughts, it began to dawn 
upon me that my disappointment was due towound- 
ed self-love more than real grief over the lost or 
blinded. The moment I realized this I was plunged 
into doubt and distress, almost equal to despair. 
My first impulse was to question the reality of my 
recent experience. I asked myself this searching 
question : “Have I deceived myself, or is there any 
such thing after all as a life of continued victory 
and peace ?” I knew I had lived a blissful month of 
uninterrupted communion with God. I had told 
others that I had entered the Canaan of His per- 
fect love ; and yet I was conscious this morning of 
failure, a failure to love — sin. I hate to have to 
write it, but I must be honest in this humble jour- 
nal. Downstairs I heard Mary singing, 

“You have placed your work between us; 

Come and talk with Me awhile.” 

Falling upon my knees, I groaned aloud. I did 
not know just how to talk to God, but I told Him 
that I had sinned, and asked Him to help me. 
After a time my heart became soft, and ,a peace as 
sweet as a mother's lullaby hushed every discord- 


66 


Follow Thou Me 


ant thought. My Father in heaven was about to 
speak to His child. It seemed that He was saying : 
“They are My poor, wandering, lost sheep; will 
you not bear with their folly and teach them pa- 
tiently? Their very blindness shows their great 
need of Christ. Tor this purpose was the Son of 
God manifested that he might destroy the works 
of the devil/ ” I knew that the “works of the 
devil” included all the sins of the human family: 
profanity, love of worldly pleasure, love of money, 
church pride, political deceit, in short, all of the 
dwarfing, blighting, cursing effects of sin upon hu- 
man lives. Jesus was manifested to destroy all 
these — yes, Jesus was Conqueror. As I arose from 
my knees, I knew that God had answered my morn- 
ing prayer for love. He had given me overcoming, 
victorious love. 

Taking from my pocket a memorandum contain- 
ing a revised roll of the membership of St. Paul’s 
Church, I read it over calmly. Fearing that many 
of these names have not been written in the Lamb’s 
Book of Life, I began to realize the sadness, the 
disappointment, the utter hopelessness of a soul 
out of Christ ; and a feeling of tender, yearning pity 
filled my heart; and I wept. Then I knelt again 
and in the name of Jesus I prayed for my people, 


Follow Thou Me 67 

asking that I might be able so to preach the gospel 
that many might be saved. 

“Lord, speak to me, that I may speak 
In living echoes of Thy tone; 

As Thou has sought, so let me seek 
Thy erring children, lost and lone. 

“Oh, use me, Lord, use even me, 

Just as Thou wilt, and when, and where. 

Until Thy blessed face I see, 

Thy rest, Thy joy, Thy glory share.” 

— Francis Ridley Havergal. 

January 8th. Thank God for the Week of Pray- 
er. The weather continues cold and rainy and we 
have not had a full house at a single service. Still 
many of us have felt the blessedness of uniting our 
prayers with the prayers of Christians all around 
the world, as, in many climes and many languages, 
God's people are calling upon His name. 

My heart has been cheered by the presence of 
Dr. Mitchell, pastor of Oak Street Presbyterian 
Church, and many of the members of his church at 
each service. 

At the last service Sister Mayhew gave a blessed 
testimony of having entered into the rest that re- 
maineth for the people of God in this life. 

Tom Callahan has applied for church member- 


68 


Follow Thou Me 


ship. Tomorrow I hope to receive him into full 
connection. Thank God ! 

January 13th. Last evening I went down to 
Howard Street to a prayer-meeting that Tom Calla- 
han has organized. He has rented an old, unused 
warehouse, and fitted it up with seats and lights. 
There was a large number present: for Tom’s con- 
version has created a sensation among his many 
acquaintances. True to his word, he emptied the 
entire contents of his bar-room and opened up a 
grocery store at his old stand, where his customers, 
great and small, hear the story of his conversion. 

The prayer-meeting is held in a community of 
workingmen — carpenters, mechanics, etc. A few 
of these people are members of some church, but 
by far the majority of them hold the church in open 
contempt. Many are Socialists. Before his con- 
version Tom Callahan was an active member of 
this organization. Now he is trying to show his 
former associates a “more excellent way” — even 
a Brotherhood, made possible and cemented by the 
love of Christ. 

January 19th. George Mayhew called last night 
and had a little talk about his life-work as a 
Christian. He said: “During the Convention of 
the Eleventh Hour Laborers, I consecrated my- 
self and all that I possess unconditionally and 


Follow Thou Me 


69 


for all time to belong to God alone, resolving to 
sell my mill stock, and resign my position as presi- 
dent of the May Flower Mill. Then I proposed to 
offer myself as a missionary to some foreign field 
and invest all that I had in missions. But as I was 
seeking guidance from God in choosing a field, I 
was startled by this question : ‘Are you willing to 
labor on where you are, giving yourself to the task 
of helping the people who run the mill, by giving 
them better homes, and better opportunities for 
physical, intellectual, and spiritual development V 
Just at that moment, the dangers and difficulties 
of the very darkest heathen land seemed easy and 
inviting when compared with the task of mill re- 
form ! But the question had to be settled ; and un- 
til it was my peace with God was disturbed, and 
finally lost. Then relying solely upon God for help 
and guidance I said, 'Yes/ and again, sweet and 
deep peace reigned within my heart.” 

It was this decision that caused him to go North 
to study Settlement Work. He is going to submit 
plans for mill improvement before the next meet- 
ing of the stockholders. 

January 20th. This has been a busy week: visit- 
ing the sick, meeting the official board, and arrang- 
ing the details of the church work for another year. 


To 


Follow Thou Me 


I feel that a day of quiet waiting upon God with 
fasting is just what I need. 

Andrew Murray says, “Prayer is the reaching 
out after God and the unseen ; fasting is the letting 
go of all that is seen and temporal. While ordinary 
Christians imagine that all that is not forbidden 
and sinful is lawful to them, and seek to retain as 
much as possible of this world, with its property, its 
literature, its enjoyments, the truly consecrated 
soul is as the soldier, who carries only what he 
needs for the warfare. Laying aside every weight, 
as well as the easily besetting sin, afraid of en- 
tangling himself with the affairs of this life, he 
seeks to lead a Nazarite life as one specially set 
apart for the Lord and His service. Without such 
voluntary separation even from what is lawful, no 
one will attain power in prayer: ‘This kind goeth 
not out but by fasting and prayer/ ” 

I believe that fasting used to be more generally 
observed in our church than now. Does that ac- 
count for the fact that the church has lost much of 
her old-time power? 

I recall today a Friday, years ago. A saintly 
minister was at our home. He fasted until the 
evening meal, and spent the greater part of the 
day in his room. I shall never forget the childish 
awe I felt whenever I passed his door; for, once 


Follow Thou Me 


7 1 


I bad heard his voice in semi-audible tones, as he 
talked with God. At family prayer he made special 
requests for the widow and her little son William. 
When he “opened the doors of the church” the 
next Sunday, something in his loving exhortation, 
something in the hymn, or something I can't define, 
melted my childish heart and filled it with a long- 
ing desire to be good. After whispering to mother 
for permission, I slipped down from the seat, and 
walking up to the altar, I gave the great tall man 
my hand. In a few months I assumed the vows of 
the church, without understanding their meaning. 

This old saint died a few years after this, but 
he still lives enshrined in my memory, the spir- 
itual hero of my childish thought. I believe the 
church suffers today because there is a decrease in 
this downright, aggressive personal godliness. 

I soon found to my disappointment that joining 
the church had not made me good. The step was 
taken in all sincerity and earnestness, yet when I 
came under different influences, I realized that I 
was just as bad as ever. Many a time I wept and 
tried to pray at the altar during protracted meet- 
ings; and sometimes, when alone in some quiet 
place, or when reading the Bible with mother on 
Sunday afternoons, I have felt the same deep hun- 
ger after righteousness. Still, I was not satisfied. 


72 


Follow Thou Me 


However I thank God that those strong desires for 
salvation never left me, until at the age of twenty I 
really found Christ as my Saviour. 

Perhaps mother did not dream of the spiritual 
conflicts of her child. In fact, I believe that her 
own experience was not one of undoubted assur- 
ance at that time. She was unwaveringly faithful 
in the discharge of all religious duties, but still she 
was often care-worn and anxious. Perhaps it was 
the care of my bringing up ; or the unfilled vacancy 
left in her heart by father’s death. The over- 
sight of the farm work was very trying during 
those unsettled reconstruction days. But I thank 
God her tired, overburdened heart found rest in 
Christ during the last years of her life; and she 
fell asleep in Jesus with a joyous assurance of 
eternal life. Precious mother, friend of my child- 
hood, and counsellor of my manhood, I cherish, as 
a precious inheritance, the patient, unchanging love 
that pointed out safe paths for the feet of your 
child. 

January 23rd. Christian perfection! Perhaps no 
term has ever been more abused and misunderstood 
both by its friends and its enemies than this one. 
Why? Is it not Scriptural? Christ says, “Be ye 
therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven 
is perfect.” 


Follow Thou Me 


73 


St. Paul says, “Leaving the principles of the doc- 
trines of Christ, let us go on unto perfection/’ 

St. John says, “Perfect love casteth out fear. He 
that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 

Did Christ and His apostles speak of an experi- 
ence impossible to fallen man? The perfection of 
excellence in human character, resulting from per- 
sonal efforts and moral development? Far from 
it: on the other hand, all their teaching and the 
experience of thousands, confirm that it is a 
perfection of weakness, a perfection of deprav- 
ity, a perfection of emptiness of the “poor 
in spirit,” a perfection of hunger and thirst 
after righteousness, driving the soul to Christ, with 
the confession : “In me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth 
no good thing.” This is the human side of Chris- 
tian perfection. But the Divine side, oh! how can 
I tell it? It is the Father’s tender, pitiful love, 
stooping to lift up the w ; eak; it. is the Saviour’s 
dying love, cleansing with the Blood of Calvary; it 
is the love of the blessed Comforter, as He comes 
into the empty, hungry heart, and fills it “with all 
the fulness of God.” Then we realize “that the 
righteousness of the law may be fulfilled in us, who 
walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” 


CHAPTER IV. 

January 28th. I have noted two strangers at- 
tending services at St. Paul’s Church quite regular- 
ly since Christmas. Upon inquiry, I found them to 
be a Mrs. Anderson and her daughter, both em- 
ployed in the City Hospital as matron and nurse. 
Mary and I called last week, but failed to see them. 
Mary has a decided talent for finding broken hearts 
and learning people’s sorrows; yet she is far from 
prying into closets to see their skeletons. It seems 
that the love in her heart must give her eye a 
peculiar sharpness in detecting any kind of trouble 
in the expression of one’s face; and the sympathy 
in her face, and the tenderness of her manner, 
somehow win the confidence of those who are “ac- 
quainted with grief,” even if they are strangers. 
She found out when she could find Mrs. Anderson 
and Miss Lillian off duty, and called again. They 
told her their sad history. 

Some years ago they were a wealthy, ungodly 
family living in what the deluded world calls pleas- 
ure. The father of the family died a tragic death. 


Follow Thou Me 


75 


The oldest son killed a man in a drunken riot. 
After spending five years in the penitentiary he 
came home and died in a few months. Thus sor- 
rows multiplied, and tragedy followed tragedy. 
Reduced to penury, and broken-hearted, mother 
and daughter began, in a despairing way, to seek 
help from God. They both joined the church and 
have given up all worldly living. “Yet,” Mary 
says, “they seem like two refugees who have not 
learned the absolute safety of their place of refuge. 
Their service seems to be a form of penance, and 
brings no real joy, because they have not learned 
the love of God.” 

January 29th. I have just learned that poor 
Henry Walton is raving with delirium tremens. 
He has been drinking heavily ever since Christmas. 
My Saviour, do undertake for this man; and help 
me to 

“Throw out the Life-line to danger-fraught men, 
Sinking in anguish where I’ve never been ” 


I feel this morning that I must win this man 
for Christ. “With God all things are possible.” 
This is the first time in my life that I have ever 
planned to visit a home where I knew there was 
drunkenness, thinking that it was not a fit place 


76 


Follow Thou Me 


for a minister to visit. Perhaps I have missed 
opportunities of service. May God forgive me! 

Later. — Thank God that I went. The poor fel- 
low is in a desperate fix, and his wife ready to sink 
under the severe nervous strain of the past month. 
When I left, I told her that I would come back to- 
night and watch beside Henry, while she gets a lit- 
tle rest. She looked at me in astonishment, and 
said, “What! a minister sit by the bed of a drunk- 
en man? No, I hardly think that would suit.” I 
answered, “A minister is Christ's servant; and I 
will take care of him if you will let me.” She 
looked at me in a relieved sort of way, and then 
she buried her face in her hands and wept. 

January 30th. My patient became quiet after 
twelve o'clock last night, but he is still in a pitiful 
plight. What havoc sin has wrought in the life of 
this man ! Willpower all gone, nerves shattered, a 
once handsome face marred and ugly, a kindly 
heart brutalized — in short, the wreck of a man, 
created in God's own image. The arch-fiend must 
look upon such a scene with Satanic satisfaction. 
Still the Son of God has power to take that wreck 
and make a man again ! 

One of God's Business Men. 

February 5th. George Mayhew came in this 


Follow Thou Me 


77 


morning to ask me to conduct the noon prayer- 
meeting at the May Flower Mill today. 

While he was here, I asked him about his im- 
provement. He said: “When I told my plans to 
the board of directors they opposed them so 
bitterly, that I called a meeting of the stock- 
holders. I found that the majority of the stock- 
holders were of the same opinion. They all 
cared less for the rights, comfort, and welfare 
of the operatives than for the care and protec- 
tion of the machinery. The intricate, time-sav- 
ing machinery is expensive; but there is always 
a supply of common mill-hands; what does it mat- 
ter that they are human beings, with minds, affec- 
tions, and souls? Oh, let me meet the wild beasts 
of an African jungle, rather than encounter the 
wild beasts of human selfishness and greed! 

“I was in a trying position. For, although I 
owned a controlling interest in the mill, still I did 
not feel the liberty to act contrary to the wishes 
of the other stockholders. However, I knew that 
I must go forward; so I stood firm, knowing that 
God would help me out of the difficulty. I issued 
circular letters to each of the stockholders, stating 
my intentions of carrying out the measures that 
I had laid before them, at the same time offering to 
buy the stock of any who wished to withdraw.” 


7S 


Follow Thou Me 


“If every workshop held a workman like Him who 
worked in the carpenter’s shop at Nazareth, the labor 
problem, and all other problems, would be solved.” — 
Drummond. 

February 6th. For some time, I have written of 
the affairs and experiences of others and have made 
very little reference to my own inner life. This 
morning I will record some things that I have been 
learning during these weeks. 

I have heard people speak of this Canaan experi- 
ence as being one continued blaze of glory. They 
have known nothing since their entrance into it 
but peace, joy, and victory. I must admit that this 
has not been my actual experience at all times. 
When I first realized that little pin pricks still had 
the power to annoy me, I was tempted to doubt 
the genuineness of my experience. I hate to re- 
cord it, having such a wonderful Saviour; but I 
have been ingloriously defeated, yes I have sinned. 
Yet, does this prove that this larger, deeper ex- 
perience is a delusion? No, I am fully conscious 
that there has been an unquestioned, radical change 
in my spiritual life; and while I know that I am 
not saved beyond the reach of temptation, or the 
possibility of sinning, still I thank God that “the 
law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made 
me free from the law of sin and death.” 


Follow Thou Me 


79 


In studying the history of Israel, we find that 
some of the fiercest battles were fought, and the 
mightiest victories won on Canaan’s soil. And yet 
the Scripture does not fail to record the fact that 
there were failures. Am I excusing my failures? 
God forbid. For, while I deplore them, still I 
humbly thank God that they do not prove that I 
have not crossed into Canaan. Having settled this 
point, I want to study out the cause of defeat. One 
thing I have learned. Satan is a vigilant foe, and 
has many wiles. One of his most successful plans 
has been to make it appear that some other duties 
are more important and pressing than “With open 
face beholding as in a glass, the glory of the Lord,” 
that we may be changed into the same image. 

In fact, I can trace the beginning of almost every 
defeat back to a hurried season of prayer, and pre- 
occupied Bible reading. My God, keep me “watch- 
ful unto prayer,” teach me the necessity, as well 
as the sweetness and power of abiding in Thee. 
I thank Thee this morning for victory through 
Christ. 

“The Exceeding Greatness of His Power 
to Usward.” 

“When God wishes anew to teach His Church 
a truth, that is not being understood or practiced, 


8o 


Follow Thou Me 


He mostly does so, by raising some man to be, in 
word and deed, a living witness to its blessedness.” 
— Andrew Murray. 

February 9th. Learning that Dr. Heath was to 
pass through the City this week, I invited him to 
stop over, and preach for us. He will be here this 
evening and will probably preach for us twice to- 
morrow. I am glad^ of this ; for I long for a closer 
acquaintance with this man, who has such power 
with God and man. 

February nth. Dr. Heath left us this morning. 
I thank God for this closer view that I have had 
of this man of God. I prize his friendship and re- 
joice that his life has touched mine. He is a man 
of deep culture, penetrating intellect, and broad 
sympathy. Yet the secret of his power, I know, 
lies in the fact of his perfectly poised, God-rested 
life, resulting from the Spirit's indwelling. 

I heard him yesterday preach three sermons of 
wonderful depth and power. 

But perhaps it was in a conversation when we 
were alone in my study that I came to a better 
understanding of this man's experience in the 
things of God. 

We were talking about the affairs of the king- 
dom, when he said : “I am persuaded, Brother, that 
the great cause of the spiritual decline in the 


Follow Thou Me 


81 


church is this : The preachers need to get a vision 
of the living Christ, and to hear again the bounti- 
ful provision of the great commission: "All power 
is given me in heaven and on earth ; and, lo, I am 
with you always/ This promise, and the all-con- 
quering power that His presence brings, will not 
be withdrawn until the commission is repealed. 
This poor old world needs, greatly needs, all of the 
gracious manifestations of Pentecost repeated to- 
day. It needs men and women whose very beings 
are permeated with God. I am afraid that many of 
the preachers today are forgetful of their high call- 
ing. Yes, I am sure that the greatest need of the 
church is a Spirit-filled ministry.” 

“Yes, Brother,” I answered, “it is; but why did 
you leave her?” 

He answered me slowly, as if weighing his 
words. “I did not leave the church, Brother ; I was 
thrust out. But that is a long story, and one that 
I seldom relate. The first years of my work as a 
minister of the gospel were weary years of fruitless 
toil. My preparation for the ministry had been a 
thorough theological training, while my knowledge 
of experimental salvation was meagre indeed. But 
there came an awakening. I saw* this was not 
God's will for me, that nowhere in His Word 
did he ever hint that the promises of Pentecost 


82 


Follow Thou Me 


should ever be withdrawn. I can hardly tell you 
what this discovery meant to me. My early train- 
ing, the accepted teachings of my church, all agreed 
that we must not expect any special manifestations 
of God's power today, as ‘the age of miracles is 
past.' 

“Oh, the barrenness of those years; when I was 
struggling along, depending upon my own faithful- 
ness and my benighted reason to accomplish God's 
work. After weary months of heart-hunger and 
Waiting upon God, I was enabled by the Holy 
Spirit to suffer the loss of all things, and to re- 
ceive Christ as my wisdom, righteousness, sanctifi- 
cation, and redemption. 

“I was pastor of a large, wealthy church in a 
growing city. I had been pastor of this church 
for several years ; and my family and I had become 
a part of its select social life. When I began to 
preach the great truths of redemption as I had ex- 
perienced them, some of my people were hungry 
for them, and accepted them eagerly; others were 
indifferent, and treated the matter with good-na- 
tured indifference, thinking their pastor was a little 
‘off' ; while still others, perhaps the most influential 
members of the church, were positively indignant; 
especially when the uplifted Christ began to draw 
to the services some unsightly people who had 


Follow Thou Me 


«3 


made shipwreck upon life’s social sea, and whose 
sins were more evident to the senses than those of 
the proud officials of Elmwood Avenue Church. 
These people were not welcome. I was notified 
that Elmwood Avenue had always been recognized 
as having one of the most cultured and conserva- 
tive congregations of any church in the city; and 
that such proceedings as had been allowed of late 
must not be repeated. They also said that the doc- 
trines that I had preached of late were not the ac- 
cepted teachings of/our church. 

“I replied that I was God’s messenger to a lost 
world, and that I must obey God rather than man. 
During the next few weeks many found Christ as 
their all in all. I did not feel that my reputation 
as a minister of the church was too dear a price to 
pay for the blessed fruit of those last days that I 
was allowed to preach Christ to that starving con- 
gregation. 

“In a short time I received a letter signed by the 
majority of the officials, and some other influential 
members of the Elmwood Avenue Church, asking 
me to appear before a committee, composed of the 
leading ministers and laymen of their denomination 
in the State, and to answer to the charge of heresy. 
I will not tire you by relating the discussions of 
the committee— will only say that they suspended 


84 


Follow Thou Me 


me from the ministry until I should retract some 
utterances I had made concerning the extent and 
power of Christ’s redemption. I answered that I 
could not refuse any grace or gift that God should 
graciously bestow upon me; and that I could not 
retract anything that I had said until God Himself 
should show me that I was in error. 

“I walked home from this trial in deep thought, 
trying to realize just what my position was. I 
was thrust out of the ministry by a body of the 
most influential men of the denomination in the 
State. To appeal to a higher tribunal would very 
likely be to have their Verdict sustained. My heart 
sickened at the bare thought of another church trial. 

“Moreover, this command kept ringing in my 
ears: "Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of 
the city, and bring in hither the poor, and the 
maimed, and the halt, and the blind. Go out into 
the highways and hedges, and compel them to come 
in, that my house may be filled/ 

“Being strongly moved of God, I found my way 
to a street that was always crowded with a throng 
of human beings, many of whom had no home but 
the street. I knew that I was not trespassing upon 
any ecclesiastical rights when I opened my Bible 
there, and taught the multitude the way of life. 

“Many of those who were saved had no church 


Follow Thou Me 


85 


home, while some were members of churches, 
where they received no spiritual food. The number 
increased daily; and God began to call some of 
them out to work in the slums of the city, and 
others into the foreign field. Finally, it became 
necessary to organize; and we became a body 
known as ‘The Eleventh Hour Laborers/ 

“This is the actual account of my leaving the 
church, and laboring with no credentials, except 
the seal of God upon my labors.” 

“Thank you,” I answered, “I believe I can ap- 
preciate your work better, after knowing just what 
you have suffered in order to do it ; but still, I can- 
not help coveting you and your work for the 
church. If you had waited in prayer, and made an 
appeal to the General Assembly of your church, 
do you not believe that you would have been sus- 
tained?” 

“I cannot say that I do. Our churches are not 
controlled today by men filled with the Holy Spirit. 
Learning and eloquence are deemed more necessary 
qualifications than the gifts and graces of the Spirit. 
This is a sad fact, but nevertheless it is a fact that 
we are obliged to admit.” 

“And yet,” I answered, “how can it ever be 
remedied, if the strongest, most spiritual, and God- 
devoted men of her ministry and membership leave 


86 


Follow Thou Me 


her to do work independent of her jurisdiction ?" 

“This is not always necessary/' he said. “I find 
many strong, pure, holy men in the various 
churches, doing noble, loyal service to the Master 
unmolested. Different congregations treat Bible 
truth differently. My congregation, as a whole, 
was not ready for God's message. My church 
would not sustain me in the work to which God had 
called me. I was thus obliged to work independ- 
ently; for I could not retract a single jot from the 
blessed gospel that God had graciously given me 
for a lost world. The hand of God was upon me, 
and His message burning in my heart. No human 
being, nor company of human beings, had the au- 
thority to say, 'You must not preach the truth of 
God.' 

“Perhaps, Brother, we do not see eye to eye in 
this matter. But God has a work suited to each one 
of His servants; and, while He sent me out into 
the highways and hedges, He may say to you, 'Go 
stand in the temple, and speak to the people all the 
words of this life.' In any case, it is God's call we 
must obey. We must cultivate an ear for His voice, 
whether heard through human instrumentality, or 
whether He speaks direct to the heart, and leads 
to paths as yet untrod by foot of man." My heart 
still utters a fervent “Amen." 


Follow Thou Me 


87 


“The mercy of God is an ocean divine, 

A boundless and fathomless flood; 

Launch out in the deep, cut away the shore line, 

And be lost in the fulness of God. 

“Oh, let us launch out on this ocean so broad, 
Where the floods of salvation o’erflow ; 

Oh, let us be lost in the mercy of God, 

Till the depths of His fulness we know” 

—A. B. Simpson. 


CHAPTER V. 


February 12th. Who, on entering the Mayhew 
home, would ever dream of its concealing a closet 
skeleton ? Who, that knows only George and Alice, 
would think for a moment that there belongs to 
the same family a boy who never comes home? I 
never heard his name mentioned by the family until 
today. George told me the story of his wandering 
life. “Frank was the only one of us that ever 
seemed to feel the restraint of the home rules. He 
always wanted forbidden pleasures. After finishing 
a course in history and literature, he became a jour- 
nalist. He was very successful in his chosen work, 
and soon commanded a large salary. He traveled 
most of his time; and in a few years after leaving 
home he had become a reckless, dissipated man, 
with little taste for the society of home. 

“In gambling it seemed that he always played a 
losing game; and one night he overdrew his bank 
account for a considerable sum. Of course this 
brought him into open disgrace. Mother was 
broken-hearted, not over the loss of the money; 
for, if she had known him to be a successful gam- 


Follow Thou Me 


89 


bier, it would have been just the same. What she 
had only feared before was brought home to her 
as an awful fact, and the undoubted knowledge of 
her son's degradation nearly killed her. 

“He was engaged at the time to be married to a 
wealthy society woman, who had, no doubt, helped 
to make him a gambler ; but when his financial ruin 
and disgrace became known, she concluded that her 
fortune would not be safe in his hands, so she dis- 
missed Frank and was soon married to another. 
Of course, no one blames a woman for not mar- 
rying a drunkard and gambler; still, I can't help 
feeling that it might have had a different effect up- 
on him if she had considered his spoiled character 
and squandered talents instead of regretting only 
his wrecked financial condition. 

“After this, he began to drink more and sank 
rapidly. Father reproved him sternly and told him 
he must leave home until his conduct and character 
were improved. To father he had soiled an honor- 
able name and become the "black sheep' of the fami- 
ly; but to mother her boy had sinned, and become 
the ‘lost sheep' of the parable." 

February 13th. Today I had an account of the 
wandering boy from his mother. She was talking 
about some lessons she had learned in the school 
of prayer. “Years ago," she said, “I became con- 


90 


Follow Thou Me 


cerned about Frank, and began to pray for him to 
be kept from a life of sin. I was a Christian, but 
the cares and pleasures of this life had crept into 
my heart, and my approach to God with a definite 
request was not easy. Yet my Heavenly Father 
did not turn His face from me although I was seek- 
ing Him from a selfish desire for my child's salva- 
tion. I had many lessons to learn, and He has 
taught me so patiently. Oh, the love of it! He 
seemed to say, as He held the coveted gift in His 
hand: 'My child, you are too far off! Come closer 
to Me, and learn of My love.' I tried to draw near- 
er, especially at times when I realized my son's 
danger. Still I was very slothful. 

"The answer to my prayer was delayed, and I 
became more deeply in earnest. Useless occupa- 
tions and frivolous waste of time were dropped out 
of my life, or suspended, I thought, until Frank 
should be saved. Until then, I had no heart for 
them. When the awful fact that he was a con- 
firmed drunkard and gambler became known to 
me, at first I was dazed; then I was heart-broken. 

"I had been a proud woman — proud of the piety 
and Christian culture of my forefathers, and I de- 
spised the low moral standards of society, regarding 
gambling and drinking as a sort of moral leprosy. It 
was a humiliating thought that came home to my 


Follow Thou Me 


9i 


broken heart, that my child was one of the de- 
spised class — a common gambler and drunkard. I 
had prayed earnestly for him to be kept from these 
things. Now my heart underwent a change. I 
could not make friends with these sins, although 
the sinner was my own beloved son. But I began 
to understand how God can pardon the sinner. 
The solution is all to be found in the Father's love. 

“This marked a new epoch in my lessons on 
prayer. Before this, I was vaguely asking God to 
keep him from sin — blindly hoping that he might 
not become 'like other men.' Now I realized that 
he was a sinner, and I began to pray God to have 
mercy upon him and save him. 

“Sometimes, after searching my Bible for en- 
couragement in prayer, I would pray with such as- 
surance, it would seem that he must be already 
saved, and would be home soon. But he did not 
come! Then there would follow seasons of such 
intense anxiety and longing that I could hardly 
bear up. I would see Frank in every sin-blighted 
form that passed my door. 

“Well, the weary days made months, and these 
sad months grew into fruitless years; still Frank 
did not come home saved. Yet I could not give him 
up, but sought the Lord more earnestly. I had 
other lessons to learn. 


92 


Follow Thou Me 


“One day I met Lloyd Chalmers, one of Frank's 
old friends. I had not seen him in years. In fact, 
I had little desire to see him as I looked upon him 
as the one who had first taught my boy the ways 
of sin. He asked particularly about Frank, regret- 
ting that he had not heard from him in so long. 
Something in his look — a half sad, unsatisfied, reck- 
less, disappointed look, touched me almost to tears. 
Instead of harsh judgment, I pitied him in my 
heart. I said to myself, as he went on his way, 
'You, a Christian woman, have been praying for 
your boy for years, with a sort of grudge in your 
heart against this poor fellow, who has no mother 
to pray for him; yet he is as dear to the heart of 
God as your son. No wonder your prayers have 
been hindered.' After this, I no longer prayed for 
Frank alone. Many a night when oppressed with 
a sense of his degradation and danger in those dens 
of vice, my heart has gone out to all such deluded, 
sin-chained lives, from the victims of the gilded 
Monte Carlo to the most abandoned opium-crazed 
gambler in the lowest Chinese dive. I have learned 
to pity and to pray for them all. 

“Another lesson that I have been so slow to learn 
is this : to believe God with a settled purpose with- 
out regarding my feelings or even my faith; but 
when all appearances seem against my child’s sal- 


Follow Thou Me 


93 


vation, and I feel weak and discouraged, just to 
look to God in deep submission and say, ‘The 
things which are impossible with men are possible 
with God/ 

“Now, I haven’t learned any of these lessons per- 
fectly, but I do believe they are God’s teaching, 
and that I am in His school learning them. I do 
not believe that it was God’s will for Frank to fall 
into sin as he has. I believe it was due to my own 
lack of spiritual power and the low spiritual con- 
dition of the church. ‘While men slept, the enemy 
sowed tares.’ 

“Through all these years of weariness and 
trouble I have heard the voice of God calling me to 
a life of union with my Saviour, through the entire 
consecration of myself to Him. I longed for the 
peace and rest of this life, yet shrank from the sacri- 
fice. But recently I was made willing in the day 
of God’s power, and He revealed Himself in so 
much love and tenderness to my heart that the 
sweet old invitation of rest from my Master seemed 
to soothe and quiet every anxious fear. It seemed 
that the strong almighty Saviour, in a tone sweeter 
than anything I had ever heard, was saying: ‘My 
child, bring all of that burden that has so long and 
so cruelly pressed upon your weary shoulders, and 
lay it upon One Divinely Strong ; bring that sorrow 


94 


Follow Thou Me 


that breaks your heart, that problem that perplexes 
you — yes, bring them all, and unload in this place 
of security, and rest. Then, when you have become 
rested in My presence, bow your neck for My yoke 
and learn of Me — then go with Me, seeking the lost. 
I will carry your burden, bear your sorrow, and 
solve life’s problems for you.’ So I leave in His 
wounded hands my wandering, sinful child, with all 
the rest of life’s burdens, and truly His rest is 
glorious. I believe I shall yet see him saved.” 

I believe she will. 


CHAPTER VI. 


February 14th. My mind revolves around one 
theme: a revival in my congregation. At every 
service I make it a point to press personal, present 
salvation from sin, and some seem to be interested. 
Yet, I see the need of appointing a time when peo- 
ple will be offered a special opportunity to seek 
God. 

I thank God, that, when it pleased Him to show 
me a glimpse of His Son, the sight was so glorious, 
so wonderful, so enlarging, that since then my field 
of labor lies in every hungry human heart that I 
can reach with the Bread of Life. 

And yet, I feel a deep, loving, compelling inter- 
est in the special work that God has committed 
to my oversight. This morning I am oppressed 
with a peculiar sense of my people's sins, and their 
need of a Saviour. 

I will note a few of the immediate causes of my 
apprehensions. 

I read in this morning's paper where one of my 
stewards, cashier of the First National Bank, has 


96 


Follow Thou Me 


“skipped/' leaving a considerable shortage at the 
bank. 

I see in the same paper that poor Lloyd Chalm- 
ers has been released from the lockup by a kind- 
hearted relative paying his fine. 

Henry Walton is drinking again. 

It is commonly reported that there is serious 
domestic trouble in Dr. Rigsley's family. With- 
out paying attention to the conflicting reports of 
gossiping tongues, I know that sin is the cause 
of the trouble here as elsewhere; and I wonder if 
the rags of poverty cover so many broken hearts 
as the trappings of selfishly applied wealth ! 

The Belle Vue is in the midst of a season of 
unusual gaiety and splendor. Quite a number of 
wealthy, thoughtless, aimless tourists are wintering 
there. A magnificent Valentine Ball is on hand for 
tonight. Many of our young people will there be 
exposed to sin, in one of its most alluring and dan- 
gerous forms. 

I have been told that Rose Woodson and some 
other girls returned home one night recently from 
a card party at Mrs. Mauldin's, in a state of intox- 
ication. Of course Mrs. Mauldin did not serve a 
sufficient amount of wine to intoxicate her guests; 
so these girls must have been served elsewhere ! 

Mrs. Mauldin is one of the most active members 


Follow Thou Me 


97 


of St. Paul’s Church. Rose Woodson, daughter of 
Prof. Woodson, is also a member and is organist. 
Though very young, she is said to be one of the 
most brilliant performers on the pipe organ in the 
city. It seems to me a downright crime to be in 
the very slightest degree responsible for the dan- 
gerous plight of these inexperienced, and perhaps, 
thoughtless young girls. 

Instead of a feeling of harsh criticism or severe 
judgment upon these misguided people, I feel a 
solemn responsibility, as one to whom a dispensa- 
tion of the gospel has been committed. 

Besides the anxiety, which the foregoing circum- 
stances cause, there are other things not so easily 
seen that show our urgent need for a revival. 

Alice Mayhew was deeply convinced by Dr. 
Heath’s preaching during his recent visit. I had 
hoped that she would soon enter a deeper and rich- 
er experience; but from some cause she seems to 
be holding back from an entire consecration. 

Then I have felt a deep concern for Josie Ames; 
for her spiritual life really seems to be *n danger. 
When I first knew her, four years ago, she had just 
been converted, and her testimony was always clear 
and unhesitating. She was with her father, who 
was an evangelist, as soloist and altar worker, and 
seemed so happy, and devoted to her work. Two 


98 


Follow Thou Me 


years ago her father died ; and she and her mother 
came to live in the city. 

As time has passed, she has yielded to other 
influences. Possessing unusual personal charms, 
and a musical talent, amounting almost to genius, 
with a powerful, but sweet voice, she occupies a 
position fraught with peculiar danger to the deeper 
spirituality of her nature. 

Of late, I hear her name frequently coupled with 
that of L'Roi Mayhew, a nephew of the Judge. 
This would be regarded as a brilliant match; and 
yet, I fear that this subtle intellectualism will lead 
Josie away from the simplicity of the gospel. 

I have viewed the situation in my church and 
I repeat that we need a revival. The next point 
is how may it be brought about? 

A true revival is undoubtedly the work of the 
Holy Spirit ; and I believe He will work in answer 
to prayer — earnest, persevering, prevailing prayer; 
public, united prayer, as well as secret, private 
prayer. By public, united prayer I do not mean 
formal stated occasions where, for several nights 
previous to the meeting, aimless, indefinite peti- 
tions are offered by a mixed company without ex- 
pecting any answer. No; by public, united prayer 
I mean “two or three,” or more, who have fulfilled 
the conditions, and meet together in Jesus' name, 


Follow Thou Me 


99 


and offer prayers that He is bound by His Word to 
answer. I am persuaded that prayer must some- 
times be accompanied by fasting. 

Mary and I “agreed together” two months ago 
to pray daily for the salvation of the lost of the 
city. We have done this; and now I have decided 
to ask those of my congregation who are burdened 
for lost souls, to meet in my study next Friday 
and spend the day in prayer and fasting. I will 
make the announcement tonight at prayer-meeting. 

February 16th. I have just returned from our all- 
day prayer-meeting. There were only a few pres- 
ent ; and yet it was a time of great blessing ; for had 
He not promised, “There am I in the midst of 
them”? 

I asked the little company who met this morning 
to unite into a permanent band of prayer, agreeing 
to pray daily for the salvation of the lost, and to 
meet once a week to spend an hour or more in 
united prayer. This proposition met with a unan- 
imous consent. We read Christ's promise and 
agreed together, believing that “it shall be done 
for them of my Father which is in heaven.” 

I came home with the assurance of victory. 

February 17th. This morning, on awakening, 
the tempter presented the following discourage- 
ments to my mind: “You don't feel the assurance 


IOO 


Follow Thou Me 


this morning that you did on yesterday. Perhaps 
that was not faith, anyway, but only enthusiasm; 
for you did not take account of all the difficulties 
in the way of holding a meeting in St. Paul's 
Church. 

“Dr. Watson will oppose you in securing any 
evangelist of real power. Professor Woodson al- 
ready regards you as a fanatic, and your new ex- 
perience and teaching as a breath of heresy. 
These men have influence among thoughtful peo- 
ple. 

“Another thing, Dr. Heath has preached a 
number of times in the city. If men failed to give 
heed to such a preacher as Dr. Heath, they will 
hardly listen to you, or anyone you secure.” 
These arguments sounded very plausible, and the 
difficulties very real. Still, “I encouraged myself 
in the Lord,” believing that “it is not by power, nor 
by might, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord of 
hosts.” 

After praying for guidance in the matter, I have 
just written to Dr. Willson, asking him to hold 
a meeting in St. Paul's Church at the earliest date 
that he can arrange. Dr. Willson is an evangelist 
who has been eminently used of God; and I be- 
lieve his services will be a blessing to the church 
and to the city. 


Follow Thou Me 


IOI 


February 23rd. I received a letter today from 
Dr. Willson, promising to give us two weeks be- 
ginning the tenth of March. “I thank God, and 
take courage.” 

February 24th. I called on Dr. Watson today, 
and told him of the meeting that had been planned, 
and of Dr. Willson's promised help. He said that 
it was a meeting of my own appointment, and that 
I would be responsible for the wild-fire that would 
inevitably follow the preaching of these fanatical 
evangelists. I told him I had prayerfully consid- 
ered the matter, and I could not help believing it 
was a meeting of God's appointment. 

"Well,” he said, “I hope it is; but as I knew 
nothing of your plans, I have made arrangements 
to spend a part of the month of March in the Land 
of Flowers. I cannot say that I can hope for much 
good from your meeting: all that I see, judging 
from what I have observed in the past, is a division 
in the church.” 

I answered slowly, as I took my leave, “A divi- 
sion is sometimes the work of Christ” (Luke 
12:51). 

February 28th. Last night I beheld a grief that 
was the most poignant, the most bitter of any that 
I have ever witnessed. When I try to bring it 
home to my own heart, my imagination hides her 


102 


Follow Thou Me 


face, and shuddering, positively refuses to act. 

Professor Woodson called at a late hour. When 
I answered his ring at the door, he met me as 
though nothing were wrong; but, when he entered 
my study, the stronger light showed that he was 
pale and haggard. He sank into a chair near the 
library table, and resting an elbow on the table he 
shaded his face with his hand. I asked in an 
alarmed tone if he were ill. “No,” he answered 
wearily, “at least, my body is not ill, unless it be 
from sympathy with a distracted, weary mind.” I 
drew up a chair, and sat close beside him in silence 
for a while; then I asked anxiously if I could do 
anything for him. He answered sadly, “If you could 
roll back the flight of years, and give me back my 
child, my Rose, in her innocence and childish joy, 
you would make me inexpressibly happy.” “Is 
Rose dead?” I asked in a bewildered way. “Dead?” 
he replied, “yes, dead to purity and modesty, which 
are the charms of womanhood. It seems to me 
that I could bear to see her in her coffin, if she were 
shrouded in the white robes of innocence ; for then, 
I could shed tears, and find a solace, a balm for the 
wound — a hope. But to see her eyes red and swol- 
len from a drunken sleep, and have my child be- 
come coarse and unwomanly — I tell you some 
things are worse than death !” 


Follow Thou Me 


103 


Each word was uttered in a tense, painful man- 
ner, as though it were carrying from his inner being 
a part of his vital organism, in fact, his very heart, 
piece by piece. He arose and walked the floor. I 
prayed very earnestly for some words of real help- 
fulness. After a few moments* silence, I asked him 
to sit down and let us seek God’s comfort. 

He stopped abruptly, and turning, fixed on me a 
look that I can never forget, a look full of grief and 
despair, mingled with repugnance, and said almost 
fiercely, “Comfort? Where can I find comfort in 
a sorrow like this? I tell you I can see nothing 
but despair and disgrace!” 

Then he sat down, and continued in a different 
tone: “I cannot understand it. I tried to surround 
her with everything beautiful and ennobling in lit- 
erature, music and art. I felt that I had a right to 
expect that she would inherit the noble traits of 
character of a long line of blameless, honorable an- 
cestors, and develop into a noble, if not a perfect 
womanhood. Mr. Emerson says, Tt takes seven 
generations of right living to produce a perfect 
life’; but what is the use of all this talk! ‘Love’s 
labor is lost,’ and all my dearest hopes are blighted. 
Oh, my friend, if you know of any comfort for me, 
do say on.” 

I answered, “There is no doubt truth in what Mr. 


104 


Follow Thou Me 


Emerson says, but 'seven generations of right liv- 
ing’ is a hard saying. Who is to judge as to what 
right living means ; and how is it handed down ? I 
prefer the blessed provision shown in the deca- 
logue, 'Showing mercy unto thousands of them that 
love me, and keep my commandments.* I have 
no doubt that Rose has inherited many noble traits 
of character from her ancestors, but she has also 
inherited a sinful nature, and she has been overcome 
by some strong temptation. But, my brother, we 
have many instances of broken, blighted, soiled 
lives being taken by the Sinless One and washed 
and restored to beauty and usefulness.** 

"That all sounds hopeful and beautiful; but still 
the humiliation, the disgrace remains,** was his an- 
swer. 

Professor Woodson has spent his life in the realm 
of thought and philosophical speculation. He is 
perfectly at home among the masterpieces of litera- 
ture and art ; but he knows very little of the actual 
everyday needs of humanity. He has never soiled 
his hands, so to speak, by actual contact with the 
world’s sin; therefore, he has not fully realized the 
need, nor understood the mission, of the world’s 
Saviour. 

The thought of a redeemed soul, a reclaimed 


Follow Thou Me 


105 


character could not overbalance the lost social 
position. 

This unspeakably sad circumstance has sug- 
gested this question to my mind: “Why is it that 
so many good people have bad children ?” The law 
of cause and effect must reign in the moral and 
spiritual world, just as truly as in the natural 
world. 

As I try to put together all that I have noticed 
in the home of the Woodsons, my impression of 
Mrs. Woodson is this — a woman of the world, re- 
fined, cultured, gentle ; but certainly not spiritually 
minded. Professor Woodson, as has already been 
noted, is refined in taste and character — a man of 
broad culture and high ideals. Moreover, I be- 
lieve, he truly loves the Christ of the Gospels. Yet 
the demands of discipleship — self-denial and cross- 
bearing, are hardly recognized in his life. He is 
very “broad” in his views, and allows many of what 
were termed “worldly amusements” in my Puritan 
bringing 'up. He has not restricted Rose. Cards and 
wine, plays and operas, that appeal to the lowest in- 
stincts, have all had their influence upon the life of 
this unfortunate child of fortune. Her immediate 
home surroundings, although aesthetic and classical to 
a high degree, are still of the earth, earthy. The 
solemn words as true as any law of nature are toiling 


io6 


Follow Thou Me 


out their warning from the wreck of many a wasted 
life: “He that soweth to the flesh shall of the 
flesh reap corruption.” We always reap more than 
we sow, and corruption has a variety of fruitage. 

Yet, on the other hand, although our children are 
born in sin; although the world is full of allure- 
ments and pitfalls ; although the devil, as a roaring 
lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour; 
yet, thank God! it is possible, in the lives of our 
children to “sow to the Spirit, and of the Spirit to 
reap life everlasting.” This is not a mere senti- 
ment. I rest my faith in this matter on the Word 
of God; and so firmly am I fixed in this belief, 
that I am persuaded that, if I live in unconditional 
surrender to God, and in humble obedience to 
His commands, I can claim the salvation of my 
children, even though my father had been an un- 
taught heathen, and my wife were an unbeliever. 
Yet it involves a solemn covenant, and requires 
that I give my children to God as Abraham gave 
Isaac on Mt. Moriah. They must be His in death, 
if He claims them : His in life, for any calling, how- 
ever humble; any suffering, needed for their dis- 
cipline; any service to which He may call them, 
even though it may involve separation, danger, and 
toil. Then I must teach them the deep binding 
truths of the gospel, faithfully and to the very best 


Follow Thou Me 


107 


of my knowledge. This is my part of the cove- 
nant, to which I believe I may add that my heart 
must be enlarged with Christ's love to take in all 
classes and conditions of needy humanity, else my 
prayers may be hindered. 

On God's side, He promises to keep that which 
I have committed unto Him, and to give His Holy 
Spirit to guide them into all truth. Then, when 
they come to years of accountability, I believe they 
will ratify my covenant, and become God's children 
by an act of their own will. This attitude on the 
part of the parent makes infant baptism a real 
thing. This is not at all times easy to the flesh, 
but yet it is most blessed. 

March 6th. We worshiped yesterday in the new 
church for the first time. A program of beautiful 
music had been prepared by the choir. Josie Ames 
never sang more sweetly. She loves to sing as any 
wild bird of the forest ; and when her rich powerful 
voice is blended with the deep vibrating voice of 
L'Roi Mayhew, the melody seems as near perfect as 
earth's music can ever be. During the Lord’s Sup- 
per they sang, “Nearer, My God, to Thee," in low, 
soft tones. 

As the beautiful words floated down from the 
choir loft: 


io8 


Follow Thou Me 


“E’en though it be a cross , 

That raiseth me, 

Still all my song shall be 
Nearer, my God to Thee 
Nearer to Thee.” 

I could not help thinking, “Sweet singers, have 
you ever borne 'a cross’; are you conscious of the 
meaning of the words that rise in such matchless 
melody from your throats?” For a brief instant it 
seemed almost cruel to associate a cross with the 
joy and gladness of youth. Then I thought of Him 
whose sacred life had been poured out from the 
cruel cross; and remembered the glory that fol- 
lowed, and I prayed in my heart: “O Saviour of 
men, who hast, by Thy death, consecrated forever 
‘the way of the cross/ give them grace to follow 
Thee, and, in very deed, teach them, prepare them 
to show forth the Lord’s death till He come.” 

I had prayed much for God’s message, which I 
believe He graciously gave me from these two 
texts: “Lift up your heads, O ye gates, even lift 
them up, ye everlasting doors, and the King of 
glory shall come in” (Psalm 24:9). 

“Behold I stand at the door and knock; if any 
man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come 
in, and sup with him, and he with me” (Rev. 3:20). 

March 7th. “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, 


Follow Thou Me 


109 


and weep with them that weep.” Perhaps I have 
never been brought into such close touch with the 
sweetest of earth's joy and the bitterest of her 
woe in any one day of my life as I have today. 

Early this morning George Mayhew came in to 
say “Goodby!” He is off to bring home his bride. 
As he has studied Settlement Work with Miriam 
Heath, he has learned to love this most lovely wo- 
man, and in return has won the priceless gift of her 
love. Henceforth, they labor side by side. 

Just as George left, the postman handed me a 
letter from Professor Woodson. I was horrified 
and grieved almost beyond expression at the con- 
tents of this letter; I had not learned before read- 
ing it of their plans for Rose. The letter was writ- 
ten from a hospital in a distant city. It ran : “Rose 
is dying. When I told you last week that some 
things are worse than death, wounded pride, dis- 
appointed love, and anger all mingled with my sor- 
row. When I first learned of her serious condition, 
bitter anguish, vain regrets and dry, hard grief set- 
tled down into a hopeless despair. 

“Yesterday she called me to her side, and said 
softly, but clearly/Father, I am so sorry that I have 
lived as I have; but, do you know, I believe that 
if you can forgive me, God will/ I hastened to as- 
sure her, with all the tenderness of voice and man- 


no 


Follow Thou Me 


ner, that I had forgiven her a thousand times. T 
die happy/ she said faintly ; and I felt a slight pres- 
sure from the little hand, that I held in mine. She 
has not spoken since, and now she is sinking rapidly. 

“It seems to me that I could hardly live, without 
this assurance of her eternal safety and joy; still 
I have added to my grief a burden of unspeakable 
regret. I should have known her temptations, and 
shielded her from them. Then I should have dealt 
more gently with her when I knew of her sin, 
and I should never have consented to her being 
brought here. 

“‘But the tender grace of a day that is done, 

Will never come back to me.’ ” 

As I laid the letter down, I said musingly: “If 
a woman be overtaken in a fault — even if that 
woman be a mere girl, she must become an out- 
cast from society, no matter how penitent, and how 
genuine her reform, or commit a crime to hide her 
sin, if she forfeit her life by so doing — this is our 
so-called Christian society — our boasted Southern 
chivalry ! Bah !” 

“Cursed be the social wants, that sin against the strength of 
youth ! 

Cursed be the social lies, that warp us from the living 
truth!” 


Follow Thou Me 


hi 


March 9th. Mary and I have just returned from 
Rose Woodson’s funeral. Mrs. Woodson, although 
nearly frantic with grief, does not seem to feel any 
remorse of conscience on account of her dealings 
with Rose. “The demands of society” are so bind- 
ing upon this woman, that she does not realize that 
there was anything else to do. But the broken- 
hearted father deplores it deeply. I was standing 
with him by the casket ; and he bent low, gazing on 
the loved face, murmuring softly as though un- 
conscious of my presence: “My Rose, my poor, 
wounded lamb.” 

I was silent for a while, then I whispered : “The 
grief is all down here. There is only joy in the 
presence of the angels of God.” 

“Yes, yes,” he answered, “I ought to be willing to 
bear the grief, knowing that she is forever done 
with it. But I consented unto her death.” 

This was grief that I did not know how to deal 
with. I could only commit him to God, our own 
tender, pitiful Father in heaven. 

I do not believe I have known a sadder incident 
than this. 

March 10th. Our prayer circle was very small 
today. Yet there was a blessed spirit of unity; 
and the promised presence of Jesus made us strong 
and glad. Already the mercy drops are falling, and 


1 12 


Follow Thou Me 


I believe we shall hear sounds of abundance of rain. 
Alice Mayhew has paid the price — presented her 
body a living sacrifice; and, as a result, she has 
proved the sweetness of His will. Her testimony 
was so instructive that I make a record of it. She 
said : 

“Dr. Heath's preaching appealed to all the long- 
ings of my being, and made me thirsty for the deep 
things of God. Yet I shrank from the absolute sur- 
render to God, that I knew was the only condition 
on which I could enter the blessed experience. It 
is strange how we acknowledge God's love, and yet 
shrink from His will. God was calling me to China, 
and I trembled at the bare thought just as though 
He were asking me to plunge into the Pacific. 

“Instead of saying ‘yes,' at first, I studied out a 
plan of my own; I argued that, as I was the only 
daughter, my parents would need me in the time 
of old age. God assured me that He could and 
would care for them most tenderly. Oh, the match- 
less drawings of His love! He made me so hungry 
for Himself, that one day, while alone with Him, I 
dared to venture upon what seemed to be a rolling 
billow, and found that He bore me up so strongly, 
with His own hand, that the wild ocean billows 
were as the Solid Rock beneath my feet. Now, I 


Follow Thou Me 


ii3 

see that His will is the sweetest thing in all the 
world.” 

March 15th. Our meeting begins this evening. 
We are expecting Dr. Willson this afternoon, Lord 
be with us ! 

Later. A telegram from Dr. Willson says : “Can 
not come. Letter to follow.” I did not know until 
I received this message how much I was depending 
upon an arm of flesh. 

I went immediately to my study. I was never 
more keenly conscious of my dependence upon the 
Holy Spirit. I had never before felt such an in- 
ability to face a congregation. Falling upon my 
knees, I uttered this prayer from the very depths of 
my being, “O God, give me a vision of my people's 
need; give me a vision of Thy power to meet this 
need. Give me Thy message for them tonight!” 

After a time of waiting, a comforting, strengthen- 
ing sense of God's presence crept over my sensibili- 
ties ; and these words comforted my heart : “Be not 
afraid; but speak, and hold not thy peace; for I 
am with thee: For I have much people in this 
city.” 

I go out with sweet assurance that He will work. 
I am not alone. 

Saturday. God is honoring His Word. I have 


114 


Follow Thou Me 


never received closer attention. Many souls are 
hungry for the Word. 

My heart is filled with longings over the lost. I 
can say with Saint Paul: “Brethren, my heart's 
desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they 
might be saved.” 

“Oh, could I tell, ye surely would believe it! 

Oh, could I only say what I have seen! 

How should I tell, or how can ye receive it, 

How, till He bringeth you where I have been ? 

“Therefore, O Lord, I will not fail nor falter ; 

Nay, but I ask it, nay but I implore, 

Lay on my lips thine embers of the altar 

Seal with the ring, and furnish with the fire. 

“Give me a voice, a cry and a complaining — 

Oh! let my sound be stormy in their ears! 

Throat that would shout, but cannot stay for straining, 
Eyes that would weep, but cannot stay for tears. 

“Quick as a flash, and infinite forever, 

Send an arousal better than I pray; 

Give me a grace upon the faint endeavor; 

Souls for my hire, and Pentecost today ! 

“Scarcely I catch the words of His revealing, 

Hardly I hear Him, dimly understand; 

Only the Power that is within me pealing 

Lives on my lips, and beckons with my hand. 


Follow Thou Me 


115 


“Whoso has felt the Spirit of the Highest, 

Cannot confound, nor doubt Him, nor deny, 

Yea, with one voice, O world, though thou deniest. 

Stand thou on that side for on this am I.” 

March 24th. George Mayhew and Sister Miriam 
decided that they would rather labor with us here 
than take a wedding journey; so my heart was cheered 
this morning by their presence. 

Tom Callahan, too, is still telling the sweet old 
story of Jesus and His love. 

Dr. Mitchell, pastor of Oak Street Presbyterian 
Church, has been with me at nearly every service, 
calling in his Sunday evening service, and the mid- 
week prayer-meeting, and asking his congregation 
to worship with us. 

At first is seemed almost pathetic to see Sister 
Mayhew, as with untiring energy and loving devo- 
tion she seeks the prodigals of the city, while her 
own lost boy is beyond her reach in some distant 
city where she never hears from him. Yet, on 
second thought, I know it is a triumph of faith. 
"We seek the lost together, my Lord and I,” she 
said gently. "They are all dear to His heart, and 
His love has made them dear to mine. Some day 
we will find my lost boy.” 

I shall never forget the look of joy on her face 


n6 Follow Thou Me 

last night when Lloyd Chalmers arose from the 
altar and confessed Christ. 

March 25th. Last night I was led to preach on 
true and false foundations from Matthew 7 :24-27. 

The Spirit was present: and a silent, powerful 
conviction rested on the congregation. Many 
knelt at the altar for prayer; and some found the 
true Foundation. There was a large crowd at 
church and as they were leaving, Percy Armstrong 
waited near the front, and passed the word to 
George Mayhew that he wished to speak to him. 
He was visibly agitated, and said excitedly, “I 
wanted to ask you to take my name off the church 
roll. I will not rest in a false position another 
night. I am not fit to be a member of the church, 
but I can, at least, be honest. ,, 

George took his hand, and said kindly, “J esus 
will make you fit, Percy, if you will let Him.” He 
showed deep emotion; but before he could answer 
his wife said impatiently, “Do come on, Percy, you 
are making such a scene, and we are blocking the 
way.” “Yes,” he answered, “we are blocking the 
way; but I will, at least, block the way of others 
no longer. George, be sure to do as I told you.” 
And he joined his wife and moved on to the door. 

George told me this morning that instead of re- 
vising the church roll, he prayed for Percy, and 


Follow Thou Me 


ii 7 

some others, until midnight, and that he believed 
they would be saved. This morning Percy came 
to church alone, looking pale and troubled. Be- 
fore the service closed, he found peace and went 
on his way rejoicing. At the same time Henry 
Walton, struggling with the drink and cigarette 
habit, found “Him who is mighty to save.” Thank 
God! 

March 29th. Surely “the wind bloweth where it 
listeth.” Yesterday afternoon, as Sister Miriam 
was telling the children how Jesus can save and 
keep, Col. Arnold, or “Old Jerry,” as he is common- 
ly called, sought shelter in the church from a cold 
wind and rain. Something she said touched the 
old man's heart, making it humble and penitent. 
The Saviour of men reached out a strong, compas- 
sionate hand, and received “one more little child.” 
How it magnifies the grace and mercy of God, and 
His power to save, when an old man, trembling 
over a drunkard's grave, is drawn back by the 
Holy Spirit, and redeemed. It was a time of great 
rejoicing down here; and I know the angels made 
sweet music around the throne of the Lamb. May 
God grant him grace to redeem the time during the 
few days that remain unto him here; for, think of 
it, in all of its gracious bearings, still there remains 
the sad fact — the record of a wasted life. 


n8 


Follow Thou Me 


Mrs. Anderson and Miss Lillian have entered 
upon their inheritance in Christ. The love 
of God, in its warmth, has unlocked the powers 
that were held so tight in the icy grip of doubt and 
fear. 

But it is impossible for me to make a record of all 
the lives that are being blessed. I can only say 
of many, “Their names are in the Book of Life 
and I have them written in my heart.” I earnestly 
thank God for every one of them. 

Through the kindness of Professor Woodson, the 
classes at the College are so arranged that the stu- 
dents can attend all of the evening and some of the 
morning and afternoon services. Quite a number 
of them attend regularly. Many of the young peo- 
ple of the city, some of them giddy, thoughtless 
worldlings, attend the evening services. They 
may come because of the novelty of the entertain- 
ment; yet I do not know but that beneath a 
thoughtless manner there may be hidden a real de- 
sire for salvation. My heart yearns very deeply 
over all these young lives, so fraught with eternal 
dangers, yet so full of heavenly possibilities, I find 
myself constantly laying them upon the heart of 
God with the earnest prayer for their salvation. 

Then there is another class of hearers — some 
young, some older, whose condition weighs heav- 


Follow Thou Me 


119 

ily upon my heart. They are earnest, thoughtful 
members of the various churches in the city. They 
seem to be honestly trying to walk in the “narrow 
way,” while they seek to carry along as much of 
the world’s riches and pleasures as possible. As 
I have looked into these earnest faces, I have 
learned to love them deeply, and long for them 
to enter into God’s best thought for them. 

At a quiet afternoon service I gave a 
solemn message of our Saviour’s deepest love. In 
tender, loving faithfulness I endeavored to point out 
the way of the Holy Cross, not daring to veil a 
single feature of its rugged outline; yet trying to 
show, that, by the matchless drawings of His love, 
it is possible for one to part willingly with earth’s 
most alluring treasure, and to place all of his pos- 
sessions, endowments and powers at the disposal 
of the thorn-crowned King; then, with empty 
hands and willing feet, enthralled by a glimpse of 
His wonderful Face, to follow Him all the way. 
George Mayhew conducted a consecration service. 
He said, “I earnestly beseech all Christians who are 
conscious of lack in their experience to let Christ 
settle it. He will fill all that unsatisfied longing 
of your nature; for in the wonderful redemption 
that He has accomplished there is no lack, no un- 
finished work. In the stillness of this solemn hour 


120 


Follow Thou Me 


I ask all who need Christ to come at once without 
singing.” 

Here and there, over the congregation, a num- 
ber of individuals quietly arose and came forward. 
Brother Ito, a Japanese student, a member of 
the Senior Class at the College, came first. I next 
noted Andrew Goldsmith and his wife kneeling in 
earnest prayer. My attention was arrested by a 
slight movement in the choir. Josie Ames, who 
was sitting next to L’Roi Mayhew, whispered 
something to him, as she arose to come to the altar. 
She must have asked him to come with her, for 
I saw his face almost livid with a sudden changed 
expression, but in an instant his features were as 
calm as ever. I had noted his courteous, manly, 
intelligent attention to the sermon, and coveted 
him for the Kingdom of Christ. But, if he were 
turning away from the offer of discipleship sor- 
rowfully, his cultured, patrician features did not 
betray it. 

Brother Ito, who was already a believer, testified 
this morning to have entered a life wholly de- 
voted to his Master. He was expecting, after his 
graduation, to study law and enter a government 
position. “But now,” he said this morning, “in the 
spiritual needs of my countrymen I hear the voice 
of God calling me; and I would rather be an am- 


Follow Thou Me 


121 


bassador for the King of kings than to have the 
highest office in the gift of the Mikado.” Thank 
God! 

Both Andrew Goldsmith and his wife testified 
joyfully to the reality and blessedness of a surren- 
dered life. It is rather seldom that we see both hus- 
band and wife enter this experience together. 
Thank God for the possibilities of these united lives. 
Andrew Goldsmith is a successful business man, 
and is Superintendent of the Sunday School, while 
his wife is a busy worker in the missionary so- 
cieties. 

Brother Mitchell said that some years ago, under 
the preaching of an uneducated but Spirit-filled man, 
he was convinced of a lack of power in his experi- 
ence and ministry; and that he had been seeking 
the blessing ever since. The subject had been 
much in his mind of late. Then he added, “Late 
last night the Lord enabled me to make a complete 
surrender to Him, and to enter upon my inheritance 
in Christ Jesus. I have been preaching the gospel 
fifteen years, but I never knew before the simplicity 
and fulness of the gospel which I have tried to 
preach.” 

Amid all of these joyous, triumphant testimonies, 
Josie Ames* face was pale and wore an anxious 
look. In an unsteady voice, she gave a brief and 


122 


Follow Thou Me 


rather indefinite testimony. She is greatly in earn- 
est, but has not yet entered into rest. 

Alice Mayhew shows deep earnestness, and testi- 
fies to a settled, quiet peace, with a determination 
to follow on to know and do the will of God. She 
will leave next week to go to the Training School. 

Jessie Mauldin attends only occasionally, and, so 
far, has manifested little interest in the services. 

April 8th. The meeting has closed. I feel hum- 
bly, deeply grateful for every life that has been 
blessed. My heart is burdened this morning for 
the members of my church who are still out of the 
fold of Christ, and for the great multitude in the 
city who are still unsaved, unmoved, untouched. 
May God pity them all ! 

There is another cause of anxiety to my heart as 
pastor. There are some young disciples in trying 
places. Someone said the other day : “The age of 
martyrdom has not passed. It requires as much 
of the grace of God to say, ‘Lord, lay not this sin 
to their charge/ when one is being put to death 
by the slow process of pin pricks and stinging 
nettles, as if stoned with stones.” That is true, but 
in either case, “being filled with the Holy Ghost, 
looking steadfastly into heaven, and seeing the 
glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand 
of God,” is sufficient. May God enable any who 


Follow Thou Me 


123 


are standing alone, whether they are called to suffer 
for Him or not, to be the lighted candle that “giv- 
eth light unto all who are within the house.” 

There is a little bit of the family history of our 
Lord that is full of encouragement to any follower 
of Christ, who has loved ones out of the fold : Dur- 
ing the life of Christ we read, “For neither did his 
brethren believe in him”; and we have reason to 
believe that His mother often misunderstood Him. 
Yet we read again: “These all continued with one 
accord in prayer and supplications with the women, 
and Mary, the mother of Jesus, and his brethren.” 

‘The little sharp vexations, 

And the briers that catch and fret; 

Why not take all to the Helper, 

Who never has failed us yet? 

Tell Him about the heartache, 

And tell Him the longings too; 

Tell Him the baffled purpose, 

When we scarce knew what to do. 

Then leaving all our weakness 
With One divinely strong, 

Forget that we bore the burden 
And carry away the song. 

— Phillips Brooks. 

Percy Armstrong is trying against heavy odds to 
straighten up his life. Some of his property has 


124 


Follow Thou Me 


been rented for disreputable purposes, and he feels 
in a measure responsible for the evil going on there. 
Oh, the endless chain of the complex influences that 
are set in motion by a life of sin ! 

When he closed the bar at the Belle Vue, nearly 
every guest left. But, perhaps, the severest trial, 
the most serious difficulty lies in the indifference of 
his mother, and the bitter opposition of his wife. 

Josie Ames, standing alone so far as her family 
and immediate circle of friends are concerned, sees 
the truth, and feels the need of a deeper experience, 
yet she has not entered into its blessed rest. 

Lloyd Chalmers did not find it easy at first to 
get employment. Whiskey, cigarettes, and gam- 
bling have so weakened him physically and moral- 
ly that few business men are willing to trust him. 
However, acting upon the advice of Mrs. May hew 
to take the very first honorable work that he could 
get, he is driving a dray. 

Henry Walton, likewise, has gone to work to sup- 
port his family. His unusual talent as an archi- 
tect made it easy for him to find work when he was 
in a condition to do it. 

Old Col. Arnold is still sober and happy in his 
quarters at the “Old Soldiers’ Home.” 

There is no sight more beautiful than to see a 
man or a woman take up the wreckage and ruin of 


Follow Thou Me 


125 


a sin-destroyed life; and, having found the true 
foundation, begin patiently and heroically to build 
over. I am reminded of a little sentence I saw 
somewhere — “The greatest works on earth have 
been works of restoration.” 

. Oh, this glorious gospel of the Son of God! I 
praise God for its power to convict, and its strength 
to save and transform. That day in my study, 
when I learned that Dr. Willson could not help us 
in the meeting, I realized more keenly than I ever 
had before what it means to have the weight of hu- 
man souls bearing down upon me, with no help 
but God’s. I had loved these souls before; I had 
prayed for them; but now, I must undertake for 
them. Out of the depths of utter self-despair, I 
arose to do the work of an evangelist in the 
strength of God. He has enabled me to preach 
the Word, and, praise His name, it has not 
returned unto Him void. Bless the Lord! O my 
soul ! 

April 10th. The following prayer-meeting talk 
from a layman has made me think: “When I used 
to hear the popular sins of the day denounced, I 
would always feel that that was for someone else. 
I was brought up, so to speak, in the church, 
and do not remember when I began to attend Sun- 
day School. But the Spirit of God showed me 


126 


Follow Thou Me 


that my life was not conformed to the teachings 
of Christ. I saw that I indulged in pleasures that 
were just as alluring, occupying my time and 
thought and keeping them from God, just as suc- 
cessfully as pleasures of a lower order. 

“I was really ashamed when I saw to what ex- 
tent I was enslaved by delightful food, and things 
pleasing to the eyes, and other senses. In fact, I 
was nourishing a refined, fastidious animal life; 
and, as a result, my soul was dwindling. I thank 
God that He showed it to me ; and at the same time 
showed unto me ‘a more excellent way/ 

“Myrtle and I made a memorandum of our pre- 
vious expenditures, and balanced accounts between 
what we had spent for self and the Lord. 

“We first took up the matter of jewelry and 
superfluous silverware. We found that we had more 
treasure for the rust to corrupt than we had, during 
our whole married life, laid up in heaven. We had 
more cut glass and china than Christian hospitality 
would ever require. 

“In the matter of clothing, while neither of us 
has ever been extravagant, still we both confessed 
that we had spent much more for unneeded and too 
expensive attire, than we had, during our whole 
lives, given to the poor at our doors. 

“We were both rather ashamed when we saw 


Follow Thou Me 


127 


that, during the past year, we had spent enough 
for candy and cold drinks and other unnecessary, 
if not hurtful, things, to support an orphan. 

“The next item was that of amusements. I found 
that our concert and other amusement tickets had 
cost us far more than we had paid to the cause of 
missions. 

“At last Myrtle said: 'There is another item 
that we haven't considered, yet it is the most valu- 
able and least retrievable of any that we have 
squandered. By selling out some of these things 
that we find so unnecessary, we can in a measure 
redeem some of these lost opportunities, but there 
is no way of redeeming lost time/ 

“Yet we found hope in this promise: T will re- 
store unto you the years that the locust hath 
eaten.' ” 

He has doubled his contribution to missions, as- 
sumed the support of an orphan, paid something on 
the church debt; and now he is studying the mis- 
sion fields, with the expectation of supporting a 
missionary. No doubt he will find many a place 
for consecrated wealth, when he begins to study 
the world's needs. 

April nth. I attended prayer-meeting down at 
Howard Street last evening. Tom Callahan is be- 
ginning to see some of the fruit of his labors. He 


128 


Follow Thou Me 


has made the old warehouse more comfortable ; and 
quite a little crowd attend the meetings there. Any- 
one must admire the simplicity and directness with 
which this fearless servant of God goes about his 
work. 

April 12th. I stood this morning with Professor 
Woodson by Rose's grave. He has placed a mas- 
sive marble pillar at its head. Underneath a harp 
with broken strings is this simple inscription: 

Rose Kathleen Woodson, 

Age 20 years. 

“Forgive, our grief for one removed, 

Thy creature, whom we found so fair.” 

But for the grief of the friend, who stood by my 
side, I would like to take the chisel and add this 
much to the inscription: 

“A victim of modern society, murdered by the 
three, whom, of all the world, she loved best." 


CHAPTER VII. 

The Holy Supper is kept indeed 
In whatso we share with another’s need; 

Not what we give, but what we share, — 

For the gift, without the giver, is bare; 

Who gives himself with his alms feeds three ; 
Himself, his hungry neighbor, and Me. 

—Lowell. 

Were half the power that fills the world with terror. 

Were half the wealth bestowed on camps and courts. 
Given to redeem the human mind from error, 

There were no need of arsenals and forts. 

— Longfellow. 

April 13th. Mary and I have just returned from 
a visit to the May Flower Mill village. Sister 
Miriam showed us the improvements they have 
made , and told us of what they are planning to do. 

The account she gave us of her call to this kind 
of work was so instructive, and their plans so full 
of interest, that I make a record of them. 

“When I first consecrated myself to God, seeing 
so many people healed under my father's ministry, 


/ 


130 Follow Thou Me 

I had a great desire for the gift of healing. I 
thought it would be such a beautiful thing to go 
about, like Dorothea Trudel, and heal the sick. I 
prayed for this thing a long time; still the power 
did not come. However, God did not leave me 
without an answer. 

“One night father called me into his study, and 
said: ‘Miriam, we need an assistant in our settle- 
ment work. Miss Ollsen has more than she can 
do. Could you go down and help her, until we can 
secure a permanent assistant?' Then, for the first 
time, I told him what I had been praying for. 
Father sat, and studied a long time; then he an- 
swered in his own peculiarly tender tone, ‘Daughter, 
the gift you seek may not be suited to you. Dor- 
othea Trudel was a faithful servant of God and 
humanity. Her service, as you say, was beautiful ; 
but God may have a different plan for you. Down 
yonder in the slum district are people who have lost 
their way in life: they suffer from other causes 
than sickness. In fact, much of the sickness in the 
world is caused by wrong living. It seems to me that 
you could render beautiful service by going down 
there and showing them how to live. However, 
my child, leave the matter with your Father in heav- 
en. Listen to His voice. He will teach you His 
will. I would not have you to let anyone per- 


Follow Thou Me 


I3i 

suade you from seeking the best gift the Holy 
Spirit has for you/ 

“At first, my whole nature recoiled from all con- 
tact with the filth and moral degradation of the 
slums. But the love of Christ became so real to 
me; and He called so sweetly, that I began to 
feel their condition, knowing that they did not 
choose their environment, any more than I had 
chosen mine. ‘His love constrained me’; and I 
went to the work in real earnest, with a glad heart. 

“Oh, yes, there are many difficulties and discour- 
agements in the work, but there are many rewards 
and triumphs, too. It is beautiful to see a person, 
aroused from a mere existence, to realize the beauty 
and power of a redeemed life. And, as I have been 
enabled to show them the Christ, many of them 
have found salvation for souls and health for their 
bodies, by trusting in God and doing His will. 

“Of course, the conditions here, are, in many in- 
stances, different altogether from the condition in 
the slums. Among the mill operatives, we find 
some successful business men, who have comfort- 
able homes and educate their children. Then there 
are some, to whom the high price, paid for their 
skillful services, has become a curse. Then, too, we 
find those unfortunate, indolent, or incapable people, 
whose condition is similar to that which we find 


132 


Follow Thou Me 


in the slums. You know the mill population down 
South is made up largely of people who have failed 
at something else. In this way, the mill village has 
become a sort of human dumping-place. Our work 
is to reach all these classes of people with better 
ideals and higher hopes. 

“One serious trouble here is this : a girl, who has 
worked in the mill from childhood, has had little 
opportunity to learn anything about making a 
home. Therefore, when she marries, and has a 
home of her own, she naturally shirks the home du- 
ties, and usually hires some incapable person to 
keep house, while she continues to work in the 
mill. Even when babies come to the home, they 
are left as soon as possible to this hired help, and 
the mother from choice becomes a boarder instead 
of a home-maker. We are planning to try to 
remedy this condition of things as much as possible. 
We are going to build a large settlement house — 
called the ‘May Flower Home/ In this Home, we 
will have a boarding department, at the head of 
which we will place a matron. We will require 
the girls who board there to take a turn each 
month at the housework. In this way, they will 
reduce the price of their board very much, and, 
at the same time, learn the art of home-making. 

“Sometimes it is necessary for the mother of a 


Follow Thou Me 


133 


family to work in the mill, so one department of the 
home will be a large day nursery, where any 
mother may have her baby properly cared for, 
while she is at work. 

“We wish the ‘Home’ to be a real home of Chris- 
tian love and refinement, the real object of the in- 
stitution being to teach a love for home, and to 
show the way to make one. 

“The May Flower Home may not be popular at 
first. In fact all of Mr. Mayhew’s improvements 
have been regarded with suspicion by some of the 
operatives. Some even left the mill on account of 
his strict enforcement of the child labor law and 
compulsory education. Do you know a host of 
men move to a cotton mill with this one intention : 
that their little children may make them a living? 
Even when this is not the case, they sometimes 
become so infatuated with the idea of a large pay- 
roll, that they put the little ones to work just as 
soon as possible. They do not scruple to make a 
false impression about the age of their children, if 
they do not tell an outright falsehood. You know 
it is hard to know just how to deal with a person 
that has no more conscience left than that. Yet 
we believe that somewhere in every human heart 
there is a spot that Christ can touch. So we deal as 
patiently with them all as possible; for, after all, 


134 


Follow Thou Me 


we are seeking not merely to enforce rules but to 
lift up the fallen, and, if possible, to find God’s 
image in these defaced lives. 

“We have a large kindergarten already in work- 
ing order. There were so many children on the 
streets needing care and teaching that Mr. May- 
hew remodeled an old dwelling; and we secured a 
teacher for them, who is willing to spend the great- 
er part of the day with them. They have a large 
playground ; and they spend much of the time play- 
ing outdoor games. Our graded school also is 
doing excellent work.” 

April 28th. I was out walking this morning and 
came up with Dr. Watson. I had not had a per- 
sonal interview with him, except in a business way, 
since our meeting closed. He opened his conversa- 
tion by saying that he had been wanting to have 
“a plain talk” with me. I humbly ask God’s par- 
doning mercy upon a minister of the gospel who 
can so far forget the amazing love of God, as to 
make such uncharitable statements about His frail 
children as this “plain talk” contained. 

On reaching home I went immediately to my 
study, and gave myself up to a season of heart- 
searching. First I thought of my preaching : had I 
deluded the people by preaching vain, impossible 
things? No, my conscience bore me witness that I 


Follow Thou Me 


135 


had not followed nor advocated cunningly devised 
fables. I had been careful not to try to estimate 
any height of excellence to which man might attain, 
but to preach a Saviour, who has infinite power 
and love. Then I laid bare my heart before God, 
the all-seeing God, and prayed that He might 
search and see if there were lurking in my heart a 
desire to see my preaching, my work stand, instead 
of seeking the eternal safety of my flock, or to 
see God's truth and power vindicated. “O God, 
search me and know me.” 

Then I pondered the report concerning my flock 
— was Percy Armstrong only deluded, and not 
truly saved? Would old habits regain their power 
with poor old Jerry Arnold, who seemed so re- 
pentant and earnest? And Henry Walton and 
Lloyd Chalmers, would they return to their old 
sinful, dissipated lives? I wondered if Andrew 
Goldsmith were really disagreeable, or if his con- 
secration and liberality only troubled the con- 
sciences of those who were not willing to follow 
the same rule. Then I remembered, with some 
anxiety, that I had noted an altered manner in 
Tom Callahan recently, and he was not at prayer- 
meeting last week. At last I thought of Josie 
Ames, poor Josie, who had suffered so; could it 
be that she had only become ascetic and self-willed? 


136 


Follow Thou Me 


I had never realized before just how dear these 
souls were to my heart. Perhaps I had never fully 
realized their danger either, and these bare sugges- 
tions made me grow sick at heart. Falling upon 
my knees, I reminded God, with tears, of their dan- 
ger, and begged Him to keep them from falling. As 
I continued pleading with God, these words came 
into my mind, bringing a full realization of the 
situation, but at the same time showing where safe- 
ty could be found: “We have this treasure in earth- 
en vessels, that the excellency of the power may 
be of God, and not of us.” So I committed them 
into God's hands. 

Then I asked that He would graciously bring 
peace to the mind of this man who had brought 
me these evil tidings. 

May 8th. A call from Tom Callahan last night 
explained his altered conduct and his absence from 
prayer-meeting. Soon after he came in, he said, 
“Brother Ellwood, I am in distress.” To my in- 
quiry about his trouble, he said, “Two months ago 
I thought I was saved from all sin. I felt only 
love in my heart. I loved God and all mankind. I 
hated my old life, and felt that I would never be 
influenced by my old associates again. But two 
weeks ago, an old friend — a former business part- 
ner, came to see me. I had not seen him in years, 


Follow Thou Me 


137 


and his visit took me by surprise. He either did 
not know of the change that had come into my life, 
or he pretended that he did not know it ; and I was 
too weak and cowardly to tell him of it and to ask 
him to go with me to prayer-meeting. Maybe that 
sounds strange to you. That man is no worse than 
I used to be, as I know of ; but to ask one of that 
kind to go to prayer-meeting or church means an 
insult; and to go means disgrace — that’s all. But 
that didn’t excuse me. I knew that I was a coward, 
and I despised myself for it. Like Peter, I was 
beginning to sink, and before he left, I even took a 
drink with him. I seemed to be completely under 
his control. You know. Brother Ellwood, that peace 
was all gone. I felt that I had crucified my Lord 
afresh. You can’t imagine my distress of mind. I 
hunted up my old companion, and told him what a 
coward I had been. I humbled myself in the very 
dust before God, and I believe He pardoned me; 
but somehow I feel afraid of my old life asserting 
its power again. Oh, that hateful life that I 
thought I was done with forever, it terrifies me 
with its hellish blackness, and fills me with de- 
spair!” And the giantlike man trembled like a 
frightened child. 

“Brother,” I said, “be of good cheer. When God 
pardons your sins, He remembers them against you 


138 


Follow Thou Me 


no more forever. Then He has promised not only 
to pardon, but to ‘cleanse us from all unrighteous- 
ness/ ” 

“I thought it was done already,” he said hope- 
lessly. 

“ ‘According to your faith' is the law of the King- 
dom. You could not exercise faith for something 
before you realized your need of it. When you were 
first saved, your heart was so filled with the joy of 
pardon and a measure of cleansing, that you did 
not know your need of a deeper cleansing. Per- 
haps you could not learn it except by some such 
painful experience. Come, and thank God that you 
have learned your need before you drifted farther 
into sin. Now make a definite surrender to Him, 
and trust Him to cleanse your heart from all un- 
righteousness : ‘for this is the will of God, even 
your sanctification.' ” 

“I have tried to do it time and again,” he an- 
swered, but I do not feel any difference; my heart 
is just as hard and dark as ever. Yet when I first 
came to God, the very moment I asked Him to 
pardon my sins, He did it, and filled my heart with 
joy and gladness; but it seems different now.” 

“God has not changed,” I answered. “You did 
not know God then, and He met you with His par- 
doning love. But now that He has already made 


Follow Thou Me 


139 


His great love known to you by His pardoning 
grace, He asks you to trust Him for a clean heart 
before He gives it to you in actual experience. Be- 
lieve His Word, and receive what He gives; and, 
in time, the Holy Spirit will witness that it is done. 
He is faithful.” 

“Do you mean to say,” he asked eagerly, “that I 
can be saved so that I will always feel just like I 
did when I was first saved?” 

“No, Brother, I did not mean that. There is no 
experience in the Christiain life just like the first 
dawning consciousness of the love of God in the 
heart. In the natural world, if we develop normal- 
ly, we are not always 'babes/ In the spiritual 
world we are subject to the very same laws. It 
is your privilege to grow up in Christ a son of 
God, to enter upon your work in your Father’s 
kingdom, to claim your inheritance in 'that good 
and acceptable and perfect will of God’ — a will 
which Satan may contest, but has no power to break, 
thank God! There is joy here, too, fulness of joy 
— a riper, deeper, more abiding joy, than you ex- 
perienced at first, because it flows from the harmo- 
nious blending of your will with the will of God.” 

By this time he was calm, and ready to take a 
reasonable view of the situation. 


140 


Follow Thou Me 


“It is worth dying to obtain such a blessed ex- 
perience !” he said eagerly. 

I opened the Bible at Exodus 21 15 and 6, and 
read: “And, if the servant shall plainly say, I love 
my master, my wife, and my children; I will not 
go out free: then his master shall bring him unto 
the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or 
unto the door post; and his master shall bore his 
ear through with an awl; and he shall serve him 
forever.” 

“This,” I said, “is the consecration that is re- 
quired — a bond-servant forever to Christ. Yet it 
brings the largest, truest freedom a man can ever 
know; for those who are faithful as servants He 
calls friends.” 

“I will do it,” he said, resolutely ; and after pray- 
ing together he arose to go, saying, “I think I un- 
derstand Him better, although I do not feel any 
difference. I will trust and abide His time. I 
know He is faithful.” 


CHAPTER VIII. 


May 9th. Clara Armstrong was here this morn- 
ing, and something in the conversation of this out- 
spoken society woman touched me with a feeling 
of real sympathy or pity. Although she talked in 
her usual reckless way, still one can discern a real 
tenderness of heart, in spite of her seeming care- 
lessness. Feeling as she does, it is truly pathetic 
to see her still clinging to a life that is disappoint- 
ing her. 

She said she had the “blues/’ and had come here 
to assure herself that everything was not going to 
pieces, as it always rested her to sit a little with 
Mary and the children. Mary told her she might 
come oftener, to which she replied : “Oh, well, you 
know ‘the vain pomp and glory of this world’ and 
its sinful pleasures are just as dear to me as to any 
other butterfly of fashion ; but when I feel as I do 
today, why then I want to get into a quiet atmos- 
phere and believe in heaven a little while.” 

Mary said, “My dear, why don’t you come into 
the Ark of eternal safety and rest, sure enough?” 

“Mrs. Ellwood,” she answered, “I am afraid I 


142 


Follow Thou Me 


haven't any reasons for not being a Christian that 
you can understand.” After a moment's pause, she 
continued : “The pleasures of this world mean much 
to me, although I know they are fleeting, and often 
disappointing. The enchanting strains of the 
‘Italian Band' have the same power over my poor 
feet that the smell of whiskey has over the drunk- 
ard's appetite.” 

Mary told her that Christ could overcome both, 
if given over into His hands. 

Clara said, “I sometimes despise myself for 
dancing, when I know that it is keeping me 
from a better life. But there is another matter 
that comes a little closer, perhaps, than my love 
for dancing; I could quit that, and I would do 
it if it were not for Fred. You know that it 
would not be very pleasant to be at home, and 
know that Fred was dancing with someone else. 
I am not cast in a very heroic mould. I could 
not suffer what Josie Ames does without making 
a noise about it.” 

Mary spoke very gently: “My dear child, you 
can never hope to win Fred from the ball-room by 
going with him to it. But if you give yourself to 
Christ, you might win him, too. If you think, for 
a moment, of the worth of a soul, you will see that 
it is worth trying.” 


Follow Thou Me 


M3 


All the jest was gone now, and there were tears 
in the eyes that usually sparkled with fun. ‘‘Yes,” 
she said, “I know it is worth trying.” She lowered 
her voice to a whisper: “But I might fail! And 
I know something about a divided home.” 

I left the room and did not hear the rest of the 
conversation. The cause of her present trouble 
seems to be the continued and serious ill health 
of Percy’s wife. She leaves today to spend the 
summer in the mountains. 

May 13th. Poor “Old Jerry” was found dead 
this morning in his bed at the Old Soldiers’ Home. 
I thank God that he not only remained sober 
through the recent reunion, but was “kept saved,” 
as he expressed it, until his departure to join the 
great reunion above. 

Peace, God’s peace, to the old soldier’s soul! 

May 25th. This deeper experience that I have 
entered has opened a deeper vein of sympathy for 
all forms of human need; and I have found that 
the opened heart has drawn men to bring their 
sorrows, and sins, and doubts, and temptations to 
me as never before in my experience as a pastor. 
Thus my study has been the scene of many a recital 
of human care, human failures, human tragedies, 
human sin, as I have tried to show way-worn men 
the heart of Christ. 


Follow Thou Me 


144 

June 1 8th. The commencements of the different 
schools of the city are all over. The vacation sea- 
son has commenced. Many of my congregation are 
already leaving for various resorts, some seeking 
rest, some health, some pleasure. Oh, the turmoil 
and unrest of the human family! How few have 
learned that the great secret of rest and satisfaction 
and joy is found, yes, really found, when that 
sweetest invitation is heartily accepted and assim- 
ilated into daily life : “Come unto me all ye that la- 
bor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I 
am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest 
unto your souls.” 

I find that this rest is the secret of the highest 
activity. I have just passed through the busiest 
six months of my life as pastor, yet I have not felt 
the need of a vacation. Frequently, I have been 
wearied in body, mind, and heart : yet amidst it all, 
I am learning to “rest in the Lord.” 

So deeply do I realize the truth of this, that I 
have engaged with Dr. Mitchell and others to car- 
ry on a gospel campaign to extend through the hot- 
test part of summer. The tent has been rented, 
and arrangements made for it to be erected Mon- 
day, June 30th. 


Follow Thou Me 


145 


June 27th. By invitation of Dr. Mitchell, we held 
an all-day prayer-meeting in the Sunday School 
room of the Presbyterian Church today. When the 
hour arrived, the room was nearly full of earnest, 
thoughtful seekers. Dr. Mitchell stated the pur- 
pose of the meeting, to ask God for a revival. He 
opened his Bible and read from II Chronicles 7:14: 
“If my people, which are called by my name, shall 
humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, 
and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear 
from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will 
heal their land.” 

Never did words to my ears sound more encour- 
aging and reassuring than the passage of Scripture 
with which he opened the meeting; and never did 
I feel the need of prayer, effectual prayer, more 
deeply than I did this morning. When I first 
awoke, it seemed that the fortress of my faith had 
been attacked by a whole legion of devils. Noth- 
ing seemed real but the powers of darkness. If 
I had yielded to my feelings, I should have stayed 
in my study, or walked alone in a solitary place. 
This I dared not do; so I hastened to the house of 
God, to unite my prayers with the prayers of others 
for the presence and power of God in our crusade 
against sin. When called on to pray I made this 
prayer: “Lord, Satan tells us that we are absolutely 


146 


Follow Thou Me 


without power, and that the work, which we are 
about to undertake, requires great strength and 
wisdom. Master, in this he has told the truth. 
We are weak, and lack wisdom. But Thou hast 
wisdom and strength, and Thou hast promised to 
be with us. We depend upon Thee. Come, and 
honor Thy Word.” He answered me, praise His 
name! not by taking away my sense of weakness, 
but by assuring me that the battle is the Lord's 
and that He is equal to these things. 

I am sure I never attended a more blessed and 
helpful prayer-meeting. We had very little talk, 
but much quiet waiting upon God. 

July 20th. There has been an unusual amount of 
sickness this summer. In some parts of the city 
there has been almost a scourge of fever. Little 
Ernest Ames is lingering between life and death. 

The meeting is still in progress. Great crowds 
attend the evening services. Clara Armstrong says 
she is sure it is the tent that draws them, as it is, 
with few exceptions, just such a crowd as one sees 
at a circus. Be that as it may, I have never spoken 
to such a mixed multitude in my life. This fact 
sifts down the messages to the simple gospel ut- 
tered in the plainest words. 

Mr. Hudson, of the Baptist Mission Church, has 
worked with us faithfully ; but he will leave tomor- 


Follow Thou Me 


147 

row to assist in a meeting in a distant part of the 
state. 

Dr. Mitchell is a staunch soldier of the cross. He 
is doing faithful work. He preaches earnestly, 
prays fervently and believingly, and he deals faith- 
fully and tenderly with those who are seeking the 
Way. Besides his work in public, he uses much 
personal private entreaty. 

Many earnest, zealous men and women from the 
various churches of the city attend regularly, and 
help in many ways. 

But perhaps one of the most potent human 
agencies has been Tom Callahan. Knowing, as he 
does, the power of sin and Satan, the redeeming 
love of Christ is wonderfully real to him. To his 
mind, there seem to be but two realities in life — 
Sin and the Saviour. Thus his praying is definite 
and believing, his preaching pointed and practical, 
filled with earnest pathos that at times reaches the 
point of impassioned eloquence. 

It is truly wonderful how he has learned so much 
of the Bible in so short a time. He had never read 
a line in it until after his conversion ; now he seems 
familiar with it as a man who has long studied it. 
He believes it, he loves it, and depends upon it, 
as the living Word of God. 

We praise God for many victories during this 


148 


Follow Thou Me 


meeting. At times we have been conscious in a 
very striking degree of the presence of God and a 
deep conviction resting upon the congregation. 
Many of different classes of people have made pub- 
lic confession of saving faith in Christ. Yet many 
are still saying, “I will not have this man to reign 
over me.” 

And those lawless, iniquitous institutions in the 
city, winked at, if not sanctioned, by the author- 
ities, are still thriving upon the costly material of 
human bodies and souls. A few broken lives have 
been bound up and healed by the Great Physician; 
but these hellish snares are enticing thousands of 
others. It almost seems that they are infernal 
machines, invented in hell and run by the arch- 
fiend himself, instead of being institutions, planned 
and carried on by human beings, with immortal 
souls, which Christ died to redeem. O God, make 
bare Thy holy arm, and come and save us ! 

August 12th. The meeting at the tent closed 
with the Sunday evening service. 

One the visible results of the meeting was the 
forming of definite plans towards establishing a 
permanent mission in the heart of the city. Percy 
Armstrong gave the lot on which we hope soon to 
see a substantial and appropriate building. 

Alice Mayhew came home before the meeting 


Follow Thou Me 


149 

closed and threw herself heartily into the work of 
seeking the lost. 

She has gathered a number of Chinese boys into 
Sunday School; and a few of them attend the 
church services. There is a peculiar joy in preach- 
ing the gospel to untaught heathen people. 

Surely there is work wherever we look — the har- 
vest truly is plenteous. Oh, Lord of the harvest, 
send us laborers. 

August 13th. Little Ernest Ames passed away 
this morning. May the tender Shepherd, who has 
taken this lamb to Himself, bind up and heal the 
bruised hearts. 


CHAPTER IX. 

August 17th. Yesterday evening, after the chil- 
dren had been put to bed, Mary and I were sitting 
on the front porch. It was growing late, when we 
were startled by a frightened woman hurrying up 
to the steps, and begging to be allowed to come in. 
We went with her into the house and offered her a 
chair. It required but a glimpse to know whence 
she was, but why did she come to the parsonage? 
Was she seeking protection from an assailant; or 
had something occurred to arouse her slumbering 
conscience, and was she seeking the Way of Life? 

These thoughts flashed through my mind, but 
they were soon all hushed, and I was conscious of 
but one emotion, pity, as she told her story, which 
I sum up in a few words: loneliness, enticement, 
desertion, a broken heart, a ruined life! She had 
just escaped from one of the licensed brothels of the 
city and begged for a night’s shelter and help 
to a better life. 

This was a new experience. I had preached a 
great, loving, powerful Christ, who could save the 
worst of sinners. I had always felt a peculiar pity 


Follow Thou Me 


151 

for this particular cla-ss of sinners. Two women 
of soiled character had been saved at the recent 
tent meeting. However, I had not dealt personally 
with either of them. Sister Miriam and the 
Matron of the Door of Hope showed them the way. 
Perhaps I have unconsciously made a distinction 
in God’s service that He never meant for me to 
make; and, as Sister Goldsmith expressed it, '‘left 
this drudgery in the work of Christ to others.” 

I asked her if she had tried the “Door of Hope.” 
She said she had seen Miss Davis who had told 
her that they were so crowded at present that they 
could not take another one. I was in a dilemma. 
I honestly wanted to help this woman to a better 
life; still I felt that it would be hardly worth 
while to tell her about a Saviour who loved her, and 
then turn her out into the street. And yet, the par- 
sonage was not my property. I did not know 
what would be said or done by some of the official 
members of the St. Paul’s Church when it should 
be known that such a person had been sheltered 
there. Then I thought of Mary, tender-hearted and 
self-denying though she was, still she was a pains- 
taking, scrupulous housekeeper, and at present she 
was without help. Would it be right to have this 
woman occupy a room that Mary must clean with 
her own hands? 


152 


Follow Thou Me 


Mary had been called from the room by one of 
the children just after the woman began her story; 
and she had not returned, although I was sure the 
child had gone to sleep. 

Noticing my embarrassment, the pale, haggard 
face of the stranger colored: and she hastened to 
say, “I know that such as I should not ask so much 
— but if you only knew the wretchedness and de- 
spair of my life! I would be so grateful if you 
would only let me stay in the kitchen tonight — 
perhaps tomorrow I might get away somewhere.” 

Trusting to Mary’s tenderness of heart and 
Christian love I promised her the protection of our 
home. Then I felt free to open my Bible and read 
of Him who came to seek and to save that which 
was lost. Mary came in while I was reading and 
joined with me in prayer. As we arose from our 
knees, she said gently, “Come on with me; you 
need rest.” Mary had had no quandary. Resource- 
ful woman! She knew as if by instinct just what 
to do. 

She led the way to the bath-room first, where she 
had provided clean clothing from her own ward- 
robe. While she was out of the sitting-room, she 
had been making ready for the stranger a little 
room that is supplied entirely with her own bed- 
ding. 


Follow Thou Me 


153 


This morning Mary told her that if she were will- 
ing to assist with the housework she should have 
the usual pay for such work. The poor creature 
was so grateful that she burst into tears, saying 
that she was willing to do anything for such kind 
friends. She told Mary her full name and her sad 
history, which is too sadly common to need re- 
peating here. 

In answer to Dorothy's question concerning the 
stranger, Mary said that she was an unfortunate 
woman who had no home, and that she was going 
to stay and help us keep house, adding that we 
would call her “Sister Bertha." 

“Down in the human heart, crushed by the tempter, 
Feelings lie buried, that grace can restore; 

Touched by a human heart, wakened by kindness 
Chords that were broken will vibrate once more.” 

August 18th. I have not felt the need of a vaca- 
tion this summer. Then, too, I have had much to 
keep me busy at home. But, as I have just had 
the offer of a few weeks' rest repeated, I have de- 
cided to go with my family to Mt. Pisgah Camp 
Meeting. 

Mt. Pisgah is an old Methodist camping ground 
up near the mountains. A few years ago John 
Byers, a banker of Glennville, erected a huge Tab- 


154 


Follow Thou Me 


ernacle and a number of cottages there ; and during 
the month of August a Feast of Tabernacles is held 
yearly. Christian workers of different denomina- 
tions and from different fields of labor gather there, 
and it has become a deeply spiritual gathering. 

I have frequently heard of John Byers, the ec- 
centric, philanthropic banker of Glennville. From 
the world’s standpoint he is narrow, cranky, and 
peculiar, stingy on one side and liberal on the 
other, yet altogether an interesting character. The 
world cannot understand why a man would choose 
to live in so plain a style that he might be taken 
for the bookkeeper instead of the owner of one of 
the largest banks in the state. It seems absolutely 
foolish to the world for him to sell a magnificent 
home that he was having built for himself and to 
continue living in an old one. To the world’s way 
of thinking he is rather “narrow”; for recently he 
rebuked a minister for riding on a Sunday train 
and asked him if he thought the gospel would have 
any power, preached over a broken law. Then, 
because the president of his church school allows 
the young women under his care to attend the 
theatre, he has sent his own daughter to a college 
where her soul will be cared for, failing to support 
the institutions of his church. The world does 
not see, nor does it care to see that the theatre 


Follow Thou Me 


155 


is no friend to one's religious life, and that per- 
haps the president of a church college, who allows 
the young people entrusted to his keeping to at- 
tend the theatre, is doing the church more harm 
than the man to whom the soul of his child is more 
dear than the institutions of his church. 

It is one of the paradoxes of the divine life that 
true liberty, real breadth of soul, and enlarged 
vision come only to those who enter the "strait 
gate" and are content to walk in the “narrow way" ; 
and since I have seen John Byers for myself, I 
am convinced that he belongs to a class whom a 
great writer and thinker once described as “a pe- 
culiar people, zealous of good works." 

Martha Byers, a quiet, motherly woman, who 
looks well to the ways of her household, seems to 
be the echo of her husband. Not that she is a weak 
or cringing character ; far from it. I mean that she 
is no pathfinder. If he had been content to follow 
the multitude and live in self-indulgent ease, she 
would, in all probability, have beautified his palatial 
home with the same devotion that she now makes 
his plainer house the “home beautiful" that it *is. 

The daughter seems to be a repetition of the 
father's character, full of youthful energy and joy; 
and while she is the comfort and joy of both par- 
ents, if God should call her even to darkest Africa, 


156 


Follow Thou Me 


I can easily imagine them saying, “Daughter, we 
are children and subjects of the great King, our 
Father; if we are obedient to Him we cannot go 
beyond His care. Go, then, and do His bidding.” 

August 29th. This season of privilege and bless- 
ing is fast slipping away, tomorrow being the “last 
day, that great day of the Feast.” 

I had been studying John Byers all the week. 
Yet he seldom spoke of himself, and I did not learn 
his story until he told it to a little handful of earn- 
est men and women on a stormy day. He said: 

“Twenty-five years ago John Byers was alive 
and doing business strictly for himself. This ex- 
presses my condition when God turned His search- 
light upon my life. Then I saw that the absorbing, 
controlling ambition of my life was, by honorable 
means, to amass a fortune. At all times my mind 
was filled with business plans; even on the Lord’s 
Day, while in church and Sunday School, I was so 
preoccupied that I could scarcely say that I wor- 
shiped God there. My daily Bible reading and 
prayer could always be postponed or neglected to 
meet a business engagement. It had been my pur- 
pose, if all my plans succeeded, to retire from active 
business at the age of fifty and spend the rest of 
my life in affluent leisure. I now saw that my am- 
bition was no higher than that of the ‘rich fool’ of 


Follow Thou Me 


157 


the parable, and that, if God should call me, I would 
have far more to leave behind than I had laid up in 
the bank of eternity. To the outside world, per- 
haps, the most interesting thing connected with my 
departure would be the amount of my earthly pos- 
sessions, expressed in dollars and cents, and their 
disposal, as expressed in my will. I saw that, 
while I had always prided myself on my prudence 
and good sense in business matters, I really 
would be no better off, if called to give account, 
than a mere spendthrift. I was thoroughly 
awake and alarmed at my condition. The 
good Lord dealt very faithfully with me ; and, while 
He had borne with me during those wasted years, 
I knew that now He was calling me to enter a 
larger life; and if I failed to heed His voice, I 
should be in danger of losing my soul. This con- 
viction deepened until I was miserable. All my 
business interests lost their fascination. I attended 
to them mechanically, feeling somehow that they 
were condemned, and I must forsake them. Yet I 
did not believe that I was called to preach. My 
life just lay before me a dull, blank existence, until 
one day in utter despair I sought God's face, de- 
termined never to enter the bank again if He should 
show me that this was His will for me. When I made 
this surrender, a great peace took possession of me. 


158 


Follow Thou Me 


God had entered His temple. In the hush and 
solemnity of that blissful moment somehow I just 
understood that I should pursue my same occupa- 
tion. There had been nothing wrong with my 
work; the trouble had been with the worker. Now 
that my love was readjusted, I heard my Master 
say, 'Occupy till I come/ 

"Although our destinies are determined by the 
decisions of a single moment, still we cannot learn 
all of life's lessons in one brief day. It took a 
long while to adjust all the details of this con- 
secrated business to the principles of the new 
Proprietor. 'Give to him that asketh thee, and 
from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou 
away,' seemed to be disastrous advice for a banker. 
It had never occurred to me that it would do for a 
business principle. This question kept coming up : 
'If the rule is not applicable to all people, why 
did Christ give it?' So leaving the issue with 
Him, I decided to follow the rule literally until He 
showed me that I was mistaken. This required 
faith in God, the living God, who cares for all the 
interests of all His children. But it has become one 
of the greatest joys of my life to lend a helping 
hand to people in close places, and help young 
men and women to obtain better equipment for 
life. Sometimes I have made loans on what seemed 


Follow Thou Me 


159 


very poor securities, but I have sustained very 
few losses; and, thank God, my silver and gold 
have not been allowed to canker. 

“At first, I began to lay aside a tenth of my in- 
come for the Lord ; and I did not know what to do 
with it because, you know, I did not know the 
world's needs; and, too, I had not learned to give 
in fellowship with Christ. 

“Time passed on, and my business prospered. 
My family life was most happy. I was then giving 
away nearly half of my income ; and still we had all 
we needed to live in simple luxury. I was having 
a large, modern home built at a cost of twenty 
thousand dollars. My oldest son, on finishing his 
education, was called of God to preach the gospel 
in India. Our worldly nest was stirred indeed by 
this. We did not try to keep him from being a 
missionary ; but as our church had not opened work 
in India (he was going with a band of Eleventh 
Hour Laborers), we asked him if he could not serve 
God just as acceptably in some field where his own 
church could use him. He answered that he must 
obey God, and that he was not afraid to trust God 
in any field to which he was called. His steady, 
quiet faith and ready obedience touched us deeply; 
and when the time came for him to go, we were 
ready, having sunk a little deeper into Christ. 


i6o 


Follow Thou Me 


“This marked another crisis in my life. I was 
now giving something more valuable than money ; 
and, after he was gone, a strange, new joy began to 
spring up in my heart, and I lost taste for many 
of earth’s pleasures. I did not care to live in 
luxury while Henry was practicing rigid self-denial. 
I had given him a check for the amount that I had 
expected to give him as a start in life ; and I prom- 
ised to give him, year by year, the salary that I 
had planned to give him if he had become my as- 
sistant in the bank. When Henry reached his field 
of labor, he found his adopted people suffering from 
a dreadful famine. I thought that Christ would not 
allow the privilege of self-denial to a few of His 
disciples, and then require others to live in self- 
indulgence just because they had the means. Ac- 
cordingly, we sold our new home as soon as it was 
finished to a Northern man for a good price, and 
sent the money to buy a shelter and food for the 
famine sufferers.” John Byers fairly chuckled as 
he went on: “Giving was becoming a joy now. I 
have since sold farms and other property and in- 
vested the money in different little corners of 
Christ’s kingdom. My own heart has become more 
tender and sympathetic as I have tried to learn the 
world’s needs. I have often wept over sufferings 
that I had not the means to alleviate and sorrows 


Follow Thou Me 161 

that money could not help. This fellowship with 
the world’s suffering and need has taught me to 
love and long for the appearing of my Lord; and, 
when He comes and while He tarries, it is my dear- 
est hope that He may find every cent of money 
and every power with which He has endowed me 
truly invested and daily employed in the affairs of 
the kingdom.” 

I thank God for the privilege of knowing and 
loving this prince of the kingdom that is to come. 

August 31st. The meeting closed with the eve- 
ning service yesterday. Today we go down from 
the mountain, feeling that it was good to be here. 

The Burden and the Heat of the Day. 

I said: “Let me walk in the field"; 

He said: “Nay, walk in the town"; 

I said: “There are no flowers there"; 

He said: “No flowers, but a crown.” 

I said: “But the sky is black, 

There is nothing but noise and din”; 

But He wept as He sent me back, 

“There is more," He said, “there is sin.” 

I said: “But the air is thick, 

And fogs are veiling the sun”; 

He answered : “Yet souls are sick, 

And souls in the dark undone.” 


162 


Follow Thou Me 


I said: “I shall miss the light, 

And friends will miss me, they say”; 

He answered me, “Choose tonight, 

If I am to miss you, or they ” 

I pleaded for time to be given; 

He said: “Is it hard to decide? 

It will not seem hard in heaven 

To have followed the steps of your Guide.” 

I cast one look at the fields, 

Then set my face to the town; 

He said: “My child, do you yield? 

Will you leave the flowers for the crown?” 

Then into His hand went mine, 

And into my heart came He, 

And I walk in a light divine 
The path I had feared to see. 

— George McDonald. 

“And it came to pass, that on the next day, 
when they were come down from the hill, much 
people met him.” 

September ist. On yesterday I breathed the 
sweet mountain air, and enjoyed the fellowship of 
older, stronger Christian workers. This morning I 
awoke in the city; and, as I went out to mingle 
with men, I found much sickness, much sor- 
row, much sin, calling as ever for the touch of one 
who has been with Jesus. 


Follow Thou Me 


163 


First, I called at the hospital to see Lloyd 
Chalmers, who is very ill with fever. When I saw 
him last, he seemed to be convalescing; but now 
he is at the point of death. Sister Mayhew told me 
that he has told her repeatedly since his illness 
that he is saved by the Blood. His face brightened 
this morning at the mention of the name of Jesus. 

Clara Armstrong dropped in to say that Gladys 
is at home and is no better; and that she realizes 
at last that she will never be any better. I called 
at her home ; but she was so weak that I could not 
see her. Percy is distressed and grieved beyond 
measure. 

When I reached home there was a 'phone call 
from Miss Davis, matron of the Door of Hope, to 

know if I could possibly go to , a brothel, 

to see a poor, penitent girl, who was near the dark 
valley of death. She had at one time applied for 
shelter at the Door of Hope when there was no 
room to take her in, and now she was dying with- 
out hope. I dared not refuse to call although I 
must confess that I shrank from it. I knew that 
the Master would have gone, and I was never more 
sweetly conscious of His presence than when I en- 
tered that loathsome abode of sin, and pointed that 
penitent girl (she was not over twenty) to “the 


164 


Follow Thou Me 


Lamb of God who taketh away the sin of the 
world.” 

As I was returning home I heard a bevy of 
thoughtless, fun-loving young people rehears- 
ing the sermon they heard at St. Paul’s Church on 
last Sunday. No doubt Dr. Watson had said 
much that was good and true; but these boys and 
girls had remembered only the funny (?) things he 
said about the light-hearted crowd who worship 
under tents. 

My heart was full of sadness over the condition 
of the sheep wandering without a shepherd, and I 
took no offense; but I felt a deeper sense of sad- 
ness when I realized what it meant for a messenger 
of God to so far forget his high calling, as to offer 
such trash to dying men and women and call it 
the gospel. 

Tonight I am sorely pressed with a distressing 
sense of the world’s need — its suffering, its sick- 
ness, its sorrows, its unrest, its sin. So I gather up 
the sin-destroyed girl, the poor, emaciated wife, 
the grief-stricken husband, the poor, lone, dying 
boy, and the seemingly unhappy, discordant 
preacher, and lay them all upon the heart of Him 
who was moved with compassion when He saw 
the multitude scattered abroad as sheep having no 


Follow Thou Me 165 

shepherd, and who wept over Jerusalem when she 
knew not the day of her visitation. 

September 5th. We were grieved this morning 
to learn of the death of Mrs. Amelia Brown, who 
was healed of the morphine habit, together with the 
disease that had brought on the habit, during the 
Convention of the Eleventh Hour Laborers. It 
seems that she has had a lingering illness, and 
refused to consult a physician, or use any rem- 
edies, saying that she had taken Christ for her Heal- 
er. This is a great occasion to the adversary — an 
occurrence that I do not understand. I once 
thought that the whole doctrine of Divine Healing 
was a strong streak of fanaticism ; but since Christ 
so sweetly manifested Himself to me, it has seemed 
perfectly fitting to trust God for health for my 
body as well as for the salvation of my soul. This, 
perhaps, has called for very little faith, for I have 
always been strong. But Mary has not for years 
been able to go through the spring and summer 
months without medical aid, until this year; and, 
while she is far from being robust, still there is an 
elasticity about her step and a brightness in her 
eyes that I have not seen for years. Yet we have 
not experienced anything miraculous, but I believe 
others have. There was a poor epileptic anointed 
for healing at the same service in which Mrs. Brown 


1 66 


Follow Thou Me 


was healed, and I have been reliably informed that 
he has had no return of the disease. Besides, I 
have heard of other instances of sudden, miraculous 
healings, in which there is no fanaticism, but the 
loving response to a real, living faith in a Saviour 
who has not changed since He was moved with 
compassion, and said, “I will : be thou clean,” to the 
poor, hopeless leper in the days of His earthly min- 
istry. 

Andrew Murray, and many others of the strong- 
est and most deeply spiritual Christian workers of 
the present day, teach that bodily healing is one of 
the merciful provisions that God has prepared for 
His children who will trust Him for it; yet it is 
treated by many of His dear children as a danger- 
ous, disgraceful teaching. Oh, human family, when 
will you come close enough to the heart of your 
Father to receive from His hand all the blessings 
that His love has provided? 

This morning, while visiting at the City Hos- 
pital, I heard the circumstance discussed by Dr. 
Benson and Dr. John Armstrong. Dr. Benson said 
indignantly, “This is a dear lesson to these fanatics. 
If Mrs. Brown had acted with common sense, and 
called in a physician, when she was first taken, she 
would very likely have recovered; and anybody 
knows her family need her.” 


Follow Thou Me 


167 


I fully expected Dr. Armstrong to agree with him, 
hence I was somewhat surprised at his answer: 
“She certainly leaves a very dependent family. But 
sometimes people die who use remedies. From 
what I can learn Mrs. Brown was affected very 
much like our patient upstairs. All the physicians 
on our staff have exhausted their skill on his case, 
and many remedies have been tried; yet he will die. 
So, I have no positive assurance that remedies 
would have saved her life either. ,, 

“You think, then, because physicians sometimes 
lose a case; or that some diseases have, so far, baf- 
fled the skill of physicians, that, therefore, we 
should abandon the whole practice of materia med- 
ica, and just let people die, without doing anything 
for them?” 

“No,” he said, “I do not mean anything of the 
kind ; but I am ready to confess to you that I never 
in all my experience as a physician felt my limita- 
tions and the awful power of disease as I do to- 
day!” 

He spoke sadly; and I knew he was thinking of 
his brother’s wife, young, beautiful Gladys Arm- 
strong, who lay dying — a victim of tuberculosis. 
The best physicians in the United States have pre- 
scribed for her — the pure mountain air has been 
tried ; but all to no avail. 


i68 


Follow Thou Me 


I listened to this conversation, as I was waiting 
in the hall, and the physicians were talking in the 
office. In a few moments I was passing on among 
the patients in the wards, meeting with many con- 
ditions of human misery and need. 

I came home feeling deeply the burden of the 
world's suffering. I went to my study, and read, 
“Let not your heart be troubled : ye believe in God, 
believe also in me.” Ah, yes ; here is comfort, here 
is help — “believe also in me.” He has borne it all ; 
He is strong; and I am comforted just because His 
heart beats tenderly and sympathetically over every 
human need, human weakness, and human sorrow. 
I find that He listens so patiently whenever I go 
to Him with a real need whether it be mine or my 
brother’s. Blessed be His name forever! 

“Did Christ o’er sinners weep. 

And shall our cheeks be dry?” 

September 8th. This morning Mary and I were 
called to the bedside of Gladys Armstrong. I have 
called a number of times without seeing her. I 
have repeatedly prayedrthat God would lead her to 
repentance ; yet I do not believe that I have prayed 
as earnestly and lovingly as Mary; for frequently 
I have gone from my study, late at night, to find 
her pleading with tears for this woman’s salvation. 


Follow Thou Me 


169 


The last time I had seen Gladys Armstrong, she 
was a haughty, faultlessly dressed woman of fash- 
ion, scorning the offer of salvation. Today I saw 
a pale, emaciated creature, lying amidst luxurious 
surroundings — a sad, hopeless invalid, bewailing a 
wasted life. The sight melted my heart into tender 
pity towards this woman, whom I have perhaps 
judged too harshly. 

She requested to be left with us alone. Mary sat 
near the bed, and took one thin, wasted hand in hers 
asking gently if there were anything she wanted. 

“I wanted to talk to you,” she said. “I have a 
great deal to say. I am going to die ; and I am not 
ready to die, nor fit to live. I have wasted my life ! 
Things look so strangely different from a death- 
bed! 

“I was called a leader in society, but I see the 
farce goes merrily on while the leader is out of the 
way. It used to please me so much to be called 
the queen of fashion ; but instead of being fashion’s 
queen, I was her most menial slave; and she is a 
cruel ruler — a despot, paying no heed to the wel- 
fare of her subjects, either in body, mind, or soul. 
Yes, I might have lived longer if I had lived differ- 
ently.” 

Her mother came into the room just then, and 


Follow Thou Me 


170 

said, “Gladys, my darling, you are talking too much. 
You must be quiet.” 

“Mother,” she said, “I must say what I am say- 
ing. It will not shorten my life a single breath. 
You may just leave the room, please.” 

As her mother was leaving the room, she turned 
to Mary and said, “I did not have any real Chris- 
tian training at home. My mother — but no, I have 
no time to speak of the sins of another; I have 
enough of my own to confess. What was I saying? 
Oh, dear! there is so much to tell. I have been 
dreadfully wicked; and found pleasure in sin for a 
while; but, for the last six months I have been so 
miserable. I have made it so hard for Percy to be 
a Christian, and nobody guessed how wretched I 
was. It is so dreadful to die like this.” 

Mary said in a low, sweet voice, “Dear, since you 
have come to realize your condition, and feel your 
need of a Saviour, why not come to Him now, and 
let Him save you from sin?” 

“Me ?” she cried almost fiercely ; “save me, when 
I have spent my life as I have ; and now, when I am 
on my death-bed, as everyone knows; do you sup- 
pose that God would receive such a sinner?” 

The last clause was uttered in an eager, appealing 
tone, with her large, bright eyes looking into mine. 
Never did I pray more earnestly for .the gospel to 


Follow Thou Me 


171 

be the power of God unto salvation, than when 
I attempted to answer the question of that dying 
woman. 

“Dear Sister,” I answered, “God has no pleasure 
in the death of the wicked. Christ's mission to the 
world was not to condemn, but to save. God says, 
'If we confess our sins, he & faithful and just to 
forgive us our sins.' This offer of pardon is not 
limited to any particular time or place. Nowhere 
in His Word does He say anything about rejecting 
the dying sinner’s cry for mercy and pardon. In 
the infinite love and mercy of our Father in heaven, 
perhaps this sickness has been allowed to wreck 
your body in order that you might learn the value 
of your soul.” I tried to show her the matchless, 
eternal love, and free, unmerited grace of God. 
Then we kneeled down and commended her to this 
loving, merciful Father. 

September 9th. This morning Mary said to me 
in a quiet, decided tone: “I do believe that Gladys 
Armstrong is saved. I was so burdened for her 
salvation last night that I could not sleep. It 
seemed that my heart would burst for very pity 
over that poor, lost soul. I felt the presence of the 
world’s Saviour with me as I prayed, and I won- 
dered if my sorrow over this lost woman could be 
a little drop of the world’s sorrow which He car- 


172 


Follow Thou Me 


ried in His own heart. As I continued to wait 
upon God, by and by, somehow, the burden was 
lifted ; and it must be that she is saved.” 

Mary called again this afternoon; and she said 
that while she was sitting by the bed, Gladys looked 
up into her face and said in a low, quiet voice, “I 
am forgiven. I feel it, I know it.” 

September 15th. Mrs. Mayhew was here today, 
and told us of a very strange occurrence. The good 
woman is deeply impressed with the plain leadings 
of Providence in the case. She said: “Yesterday 
afternoon I felt the least bit blue and discouraged. 
My heart was full of longing for my children. Alice 
had just left for the Training School, and George 
and Miriam had moved into their new home. The 
house seemed so strangely silent and suggestive. It 
seemed an age since I had seen or even heard from 
Frank. Then I missed Lloyd so much. It seemed 
as if I would be almost obliged to take Alice back 
from the Lord, although I knew, and had frequently 
told her, that she could be a real help and blessing 
to me, only while doing God’s will. I went to the 
Lord in prayer, telling Him how weak and troubled 
I felt, and asked for strength and comfort. I did 
not know that comfort was to come in a real tan- 
gible form. But I arose from my knees, feeling a 
glad relief, and went out to meet Brother Mitchell 


Follow Thou Me 


173 


and Brother Callahan, and some members of the 
W. C. T. U. at our Mission rooms. After the 
business was finished, and I had started home, I 
noticed that it was getting late, so I decided to take 
a street car at the next corner. When I reached the 
corner, I found that the car had just passed. I 
stood still for a moment to decide whether to wait 
for another car, or to walk on home, when my at- 
tention was arrested by two girls standing nearby, 
evidently puzzled about something. One of them 
said : 'This must be the place where she promised 
to meet us. I gave the address to the conductor.' 
The other girl said in a bewildered tone: 'What 
shall we do, Ethel? It is nearly night.' 

"I went to them, and asked if they had lost their 
way. One of them burst into tears, while the other 
related their adventure. They are two cousins from 
the country. The one who spoke first is an orphan 
and has been making her home with her aunt, the 
mother of the other girl ; but the family being large, 
and their means limited, they were very anxious to 
get into a position to support themselves, and help 
the home folks, too. They saw some very good posi- 
tions advertised; and, when they answered the ad- 
vertisement, they received a prompt reply from a 
lady who agreed to provide a nice boarding place 
for them, and furthermore promised to meet them at 


174 


Follow Thou Me 


that point. I hurried them home with me; for I 
was alarmed for them. They are refined, modest 
girls, utterly unacquainted with the dangers and 
pitfalls that lurk in almost every street of the city. 

“Yesterday a suspicious character was arrested, 
and this morning she confessed that she was an 
agent of the ‘White Slave* trade ; and that two girls 
from the country were expecting her to meet them 
at a certain point. I felt sure that these girls were 
the intended victims. But I have not told them yet 
of the death trap that had been laid for them as 
they are so homesick anyway. I have had them 
write to the anxious mother and tell her of their 
safety. I assured them that I would help them find 
employment when I have mothered them awhile 
and found out what they are best adapted to. If 
they need further training I have made up my mind 
to give it to them. 

“I told them that God had sent my daughter 
across the sea, and that I felt that He had sent them 
to me, and I wanted to be as much help to them as 
they have already been to me. I find that there 
are too many lives needing help and cheer for me to 
be lonely.” 

How many beautiful homes are lonely and un- 
satisfactory because they are not opened In loving 
helpfulness to those who need a “home” ! 


Folio v/ Thou Me 


175 


The narrow escape of these two innocent, un- 
suspecting girls haunts me as a nightmare, as it 
reminds me of the thousands of victims of this in- 
fernal traffic. O God, how long? 

September 18th. Sometime ago I wrote a letter 
to Dr. Heath, asking him for a little light on the 
subject of Divine Healing. This morning I re- 
ceived the following letter from him: 

“Volumes might, and in fact, have been written 
on the subject of Divine Healing, yet the subject 
has not been exhausted. I shall confine myself 
closely to your questions ; and answer them as God 
gives me wisdom to find what is written in His 
Word. 

“First, where is it taught that bodily healing is 
included in the atonement? 

“There are many passages where it is plainly 
taught in God’s Word; but one is sufficient, as it 
gives the prophecy concerning the atonement, and 
tells of the fulfilment. Matt. 8:16, 17, 'When even 
was come, they brought unto him many that were 
possessed with devils, and he cast out the spirits 
with his word, and healed all that were sick: that 
it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias 
the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, 
and bare our sicknesses/ 

“Second, if bodily healing is included in the 


176 


Follow Thou Me 


atonement, why does not everyone receive it, when 
they receive Christ as their Saviour ? 

" 'According to your faith' is for all time the law 
of the kingdom. The faith of the great majority of 
God's dear children has narrowed down to expect no 
more from Him than what they usually see : there- 
fore the channel, being blocked up, many of the 
blessings that His great, generous, loving heart is 
ready to give are held back. 

"Third, if it be God’s will for His children to live 
in health, why is it that so many holy men and 
women have spent lives of physical suffering? 

"Of course, it is far more blessed to have our 
souls saved and our hearts cleansed than to have 
our bodies healed ; yet it seems a pity to fail to ap- 
propriate anything that God’s love and bounty have 
provided for His children. As to what God's will 
is, we may note carefully the whole record of 
Christ's ministry; and we do not find a single in- 
stance where He told an afflicted one, who came to 
Him for healing, that He would give strength to 
bear it patiently. On the other hand, He healed 
every one; and, when giving deliverance to the 
'daughter of Abraham,' He mentioned the fact that 
Satan (not God) had bound her eighteen years. 
Even under the old dispensation, where all was 


Follow Thou Me 


177 

shadow and promise, health was offered as a bless- 
ing to the obedient. 

“Fourth, why not use remedies? Has not medical 
science done a great deal for humanity? 

“I am free to say that nothing that man has ever 
undertaken and accomplished has been a greater 
blessing to the human family than what has been 
done by the devoted physicians and nurses of Chris- 
tendom both through public hospitals &nd private 
ministrations. The trouble with human remedies 
lies in the fact that they are so often inadequate. 
There are so many suffering and dying from dis- 
eases that the highest skill is still powerless to 
reach ; and, although many hospitals are bringing 
untold relief and blessing to humanity, still there 
are so many pitiful cases that cannot obtain the re- 
lief that is administered there. We find .that this, 
like all other human helps, falls short somewhere. 
So it seems to me, that our greatest need is to re- 
ceive a touch from the Hand that hath formed us. 
This, I believe, is God’s plan for His children. Yet 
‘He would not have them in bondage. I believe it 
would be better for anyone who has not the faith to 
receive healing from God to use human agencies. 

“Fifth, when a person believes in Divine Healing, 
why should he fail to receive it? 

“This, like many of the precious privileges of 


i3* 


Follow Thou Me 


God's children, has been abused. Devotion to a 
doctrine has been mistaken for faith in Christ. A 
person may refuse to use remedies, and yet fail to 
touch the hem of the garment of the Son of God 
with the finger of real faith. While faith is the 
one universal condition, still many things may hin- 
der faith. One great hindrance is being surrounded 
by unbelief in others; for, while God honors the 
faith of one individual, still we are influenced by our 
surroundings sometimes more than we realize. 
Then, there are self-indulgence, worldliness, anxi- 
ety, spiritual pride, selfishness, lack of love to all 
mankind — all these things hinder our approach to 
God. This is the teaching of the blessed Book as 
I understand it : a firm, unshaken faith in Christ as 
Lord of all, and a complete Saviour, manifested by 
a loving, uncompromising obedience to Him, having 
the whole being swayed and dominated by His 
great love to man. This last is most important. 
We read that God "turned the captivity of Job, when 
he prayed for his friends,' who had misjudged him. 

""Now, Brother, may God help you to see and to 
receive all that His great love is longing to pour 
into your life ; and as He teaches you, may He en- 
able you to give His blessed teaching to a needy, 
suffering world." 

This man's life and teaching always help me to 


Follow Thou Me 


179 

understand God’s teaching better. Surely this be- 
lief is founded on the Word of God. 

September 19th. We buried Gladys Armstrong 
today. She was conscious to the last ; and with her 
last breath confessed her unworthiness, and at the 
same time maintained an unwavering trust in Christ 
as her Saviour. I humbly thank God. 

September 26th. I note with sadness that many 
of the students, who confessed Christ during the 
meeting last spring and really seemed joyous and 
glad in His service, have not attended church since 
their return; and I have learned that they are in- 
dulging in hurtful, worldly amusements. The same 
condition of things exists among many of the young 
converts of my own congregation who have been 
in the city all summer. What is the cause? No 
doubt, it is all the work of the enemy of souls. Yet 
there are many causes. 

First, perhaps the work of grace in their hearts 
was not so deep as they once thought it to be. 

Second, they have felt the chilling effects of the 
cold atmosphere in which they have to spend their 
lives. The prevailing spirit of worldliness among 
their associates, and often in their closest ties, has 
influenced them. 

Third, the great indifference, and, in some in- 
stances, direct opposition of their spiritual leaders 


i8o 


Follow Thou Me 


to vital spirituality. Not being helped, and urged 
into an established religious experience, they have 
wavered, and then fallen back. 

To what extent am I responsible for these things? 
Have I warned them faithfully? Have I prayed 
for them perseveringly ? Have I watched over their 
souls as one that must give account? Lord, help me 
to see my responsibility, my privilege in this mat- 
ter as well as Thy almighty power and infinite love. 

While God has blessed my work abundantly, I 
have not realized the great longing of my heart — 
the whole church in every department of her work, 
moving forward under the guidance of the Holy 
Spirit. 

The prayer-meeting is well attended, and is a 
means of -spiritual refreshing, yet only a few of the 
official members attend it. 

The Sunday School, under the leadership of An- 
drew Goldsmith, is a source of real blessing; yet it 
is not without friction. Perhaps Andrew has not 
learned the marvelous art of “speaking the truth in 
love.” 

A few of the members of the Women's Mission- 
ary Societies have felt the touch of the nail-pierced 
hand, and have arisen to take a real part in 
the work of the world's redemption. Yet, I am 
painfully conscious that only a few are doing this 


Follow Thou Me 


181 


work with their hearts in it. The great mass of 
the women of the church are still deaf to the voice 
of God as He calls for lives wholly devoted to 
Him. 

But perhaps it is the Young People's Society, 
with its wonderful opportunities of devotion and 
service, that is the most disappointing. What a 
power for good it might be if its leaders were Spirit- 
filled persons ! 

Who can measure the good that might flow from 
its social meetings if, instead of meeting together 
to amuse themselves, the members gathered in the 
strangers, the poor, the neglected, the tempted, and 
the lonely ones of this thronging city, and showed 
them the loving, gracious hospitality of Christ? 

In the department of Charity and Help, there is 
such a broad field for those who have made them- 
selves the servants of humanity for Christ's sake. 
“For the poor always ye have with you.'' 

In the devotional meetings, gracious results might 
follow, if only they met together to seek the face 
of God instead of merely rendering a program on 
a given subject. 

O Spirit of God, warm my heart with Thine own 
fervent heat, that out of it Thy love may flow 
into these young lives and show unto them “a more 
excellent way." 


182 


Follow Thou Me 


October ist. Little Theo. Walton died this morn- 
ing. While I was with the family this afternoon, I 
heard the distressed mother utter the following wail 
of sorrow and remorse, as she bent over the little 
casket: “My poor child! I was so busy putting 
unnecessary work on this little dress that I would 
not lay it down to take a walk with you when you 
asked me. You needed the fresh air, and I did too, 
to rest my tired nerves. Now the very garment, 
on which I lavished time that I should have spent 
with you, serves as your shroud while your poor 
mother would give anything for one little hour of 
your company/' 

May the Spirit of the loving, gracious Father in 
heaven come to this mother while her heart is soft- 
ened by grief, and relax the overanxious thoughts, 
and teach her to “consider the lilies of the field”; 
and, trusting the great All-Father's care, learn to 
“seek first the kingdom of God and his righteous- 
ness/’ 

October 3rd. There is joy in the presence of the 
angels ; for Frank Mayhew has come home, a saved 
man! 

Last evening at prayer-meeting he said : 

“People who have never been bound by an evil 
habit have no idea what the word ‘bondage’ means. 
Time and again I have tried, in my own strength, 


Follow Thou Me 


183 


to break my bonds and become a free man; but 
the desire for drink was continually overcoming 
every good resolution. I have frequently left the 
card-table, disgusted with the low, mean business, 
and loathing myself for ever indulging in it. I have 
determined never to gamble again. But after a 
time some strange, restless feeling would possess 
me with a desire to win back what I had lost ; and 
every resolution would be swept away, and I would 
become more hopelessly involved in the hideous 
mazes of that man-destroying habit than ever. 

“Usually a little success would excite me to 
larger ventures, and I would risk all and lose all 
that I had won; consequently I often left the card- 
table in debt. This makes it sound strange when I 
say that the game that broke the mystic spell was 
in my favor. My victim was a stranger. We had 
played until he had lost all the money he had with 
him, and was in debt to me for a few dollars, which 
he asked me to walk home with him to get. I 
waited at the door while he went in to get the 
money from his wife. I heard her say, in a tone that 
I shall never forget — yes, her words of despair and 
disappointment are ringing in my ears tonight: 
‘You promised, when you left the house, that you 
would settle with the grocer, get something for 
breakfast, and order some milk for the baby. Now 


184 


Follow Thou Me 


you have come back still in debt to the grocer ; noth- 
ing for breakfast, no milk for the baby, and ask for 
the little sum I was keeping to pay on the rent to- 
morrow. Oh, if you would only stop and think of 
what you are doing! You have gambled away a 
comfortable home, lost an honorable position by 
drinking and gambling, pawned our wedding ring, 
allowed our wardrobe to be reduced to the barest 
demands of decency, and now you even take the 
milk from our baby’s lips to pay for your fun. If 
it were not for the children I’ — here she broke 
down and wept convulsively. I had known all 
along that just such things were going on — hearts 
were bleeding, children suffering, and a thousand 
other tragedies daily occurring, just because of drink 
and its kindred evils; but nothing had ever affected 
me before like the note of despair in that wife’s 
broken sentences. I am sure the change in my 
feelings was due to the fact that another woman, 
whose heart had been broken by my wrong-doing, 
my precious mother, had taken hold of the strong 
arm of God in behalf of her sinful child. I cannot 
account for it in any other way. 

“I felt as mean as if I had been a murderer. When 
the man came out with the money I made him 
take every cent that I had won from him and give 
it back to his wife. 


Follow Thou Me 


185 

“I never played cards again. My conscience was 
beginning to wake up. I saw behind me wasted op- 
portunities for the development of my character, 
the strengthening of my will, the cultivation of 
my mind, the salvation of my soul. I found my- 
self a captive, bound with chains my own hands 
had forged, but were unable to break — this was re- 
morse. Sometimes I had earnest desires for a bet- 
ter life, and hope would revive; but the strong ap- 
petite for drink, and the continual presence of the 
temptation, several times overcame every good res- 
olution, and I was borne down by the terrible force 
of evil habit. 

“Once, when I was getting over one of these de- 
bauches, feeling so helpless and lonely, I decided 
to go to church. I heard a good sermon for chil- 
dren and innocent young people, but my ears were 
intent to catch some little help for a sinner, but I 
heard none. I remember the preacher saying that 
he had not broken a single thread in his mother's 
apron string, and I am sure he spoke the truth ; for 
he was a great, strong, pure, manly man, with a 
kindly face and tender heart. He directed the 
children aright, and I hope with all my heart that 
every one there that morning will always heed his 
advice ; for I can truly testify that ‘The way of the 
transgressor is hard/ 


i86 


Follow Thou Me 


“As he talked, it seemed to me that I was out 
among the breakers, and that there was a champion 
swimmer, successfully stemming the tide; but he 
carried no life-line, and seemed to wonder why any- 
one should need one. I wish I could say to every 
minister of the gospel, ‘By all means, in season and 
out of season, warn young people against sowing 
wild oats ; keep them from it, if possible ; but let me 
beg, in the name of Him who “came to seek and to 
save that which was lost,” do not say that men have 
little hope of being saved, after they have reached 
a certain age/ I do not believe that the salvation 
of a single sinner, however abandoned, or however 
old he may be when saved, has ever been the cause 
of another person leading a sinful life. 

“I left the church well nigh hopeless, and spent 
another week among the breakers, tossed about 
with the driving winds of temptation, and stung 
by the furies of remorse — a hopeless, despairing 
man. Then I caught the gleam of another light 
across the waves. I had heard of guilty men, lost, 
ruined men being saved at the Bowery Mission. 
Once on a wintry night hunger and desire for 
warmth and light had overcome my pride, and I 
had joined the midnight bread-line; but, immediate- 
ly afterward I had gone on my way and kept away 
from the Mission for the same reason that I stayed 


Follow Thou Me 


187 


away from home, because, in my benighted heart, 
sin and its associations were preferable to light, and 
purity, and comfort. But I was homesick now, and 
I wanted help. So, on Sunday evening I went to 
the Bowery Mission again. Many ‘Bowery boys’ 
told how they had been saved from sin by the pre- 
cious blood of Jesus. It began to dawn upon my 
darkened conscience that all these lives had been 
marred by sin, and that if Christ would save one 
sinner He would save another; so I came as I was: 
in my guilt, with no excuse for it, — and plunged into 
the cleansing Fountain, and, thank God! it was 
sufficient.” 

His voice was tense with suppressed emotion as 
he went on, after a moment’s pause, “I wish I could 
tell you more about this precious blood, and what 
it did for me; but I can’t express it. I can’t ex- 
plain it. I only know that I knelt down a wretched, 
helpless, sin-burdened man, and I arose changed — 
just by the blood of Jesus. Yes, the burning thirst 
for liquor was all gone, the indescribable restless- 
ness was all stilled; I was a pardoned, changed 
man, just because Jesus died for me.” 

A close observer notes in Frank’s eyes a look of 
deep, thoughtful sadness. This surprised me a 
little at first, knowing that he really has peace with 
God through Jesus Christ: and I wondered at it 


i88 


Follow Thou Me 


a good deal. Then I thought perhaps it was the 
remembrance of wasted years; or the knowledge 
— painful, distressing knowledge, gained by costly 
experience — of the evil that is in the world; or per- 
haps his thoughts are still haunted by the groans 
of shipwrecked men and women, who are dashing 
their lives out upon the rocks of sin and despair. 

“But Ihe bird, with the broken pinion, kept another from 
(he snare; 

\nd the life, that sin had stricken, raised another from 
despair, 

For Christ, the mighty Healer, has a balm for every pain ; 

And the soul, that He has healed, higher still shall soar 
again.” 

October 5th. How good is the Lord! I am re- 
minded today of a very gracious manifestation of 
His love and wisdom in answering a prayer for help 
and wisdom in dealing with a very trying phase of 
my work here. The influence of the “Belle Vue 
Hotel,” and the club, of which Percy Armstrong 
was president, was a constant menace to the spirit- 
ual, and, I might add, moral life of many of the 
young people of this city. 

Yet because of the lack of spirituality among the 
majority of the members of the church, I really did 
not know how to deal with these young people, un- 
til I saw them in the light of a Saviour's love; and 


Follow Thou Me 


189 


then I began to pray that God would save them. I 
realized a partial answer to this prayer when Percy 
Armstrong was converted last spring and when a 
few months later his young wife was saved on her 
death-bed. The other day I was wondering how 
the “Belle Vue” could be conducted without its bar, 
and its usual frivolities, and how Percy could stand 
the pressure of a season's temptations. I laid this 
matter, too, upon the heart of God. I learned today 
that Dr. John Armstrong has bought the “Belle 
Vue” and will convert it into a private sanitorium, 
while Percy has gone into the Real Estate business. 
Again “I thank God, and take courage.” 

October 7th. Our little prayer circle spent two 
blessed hours in sweet communion and earnest 
prayer this morning. “And the glory which thou 
gavest me I have given them ; that they may be one, 
even as we are one : I in them and thou in me, that 
they may be made perfect in one; and that the 
world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast 
loved them as thou hast loved me.” Even so let it 
be, Lord Jesus. 

October 10th. I suppose there is not a man nor 
woman in the city, even among the day laborers, 
who work more busily than George Mayhew and 
his devoted wife. Yet, it is all a labor of love — 
persistent, patient love for humanity, often in its 


igo 


Follow Thou Me 


most trying aspect. The operatives of the May 
Flower Mill are learning that the regulations and 
improvements that have been made are not merely 
for the sake of obtaining hands but for the better- 
ing of the conditions of the people; and that they 
have been suggested by the love and pity of a 
brother man. 

Today Mary and I took dinner at the May 
Flower Home with George and Miriam Mayhew. 
They make it a rule to take dinner there at least 
once a week. A simple, wholesome meal was 
served in beautiful order. Everywhere there was 
an air of purity and refinement. 

On the southeast corner of the building is the 
Day Nursery, a large sunny room, furnished with 
little dainty white cribs, baby-jumpers, low chairs 
and toys. 

Here the little ones of all sizes, who have work- 
ing mothers, are brought at a p early hour. They 
are given a daily bath ; and in a large locker there is 
kept a supply of plain white garments of different 
sizes for any who may need a change and not have 
the garments. There are two little orphans being 
reared in the Home. 

On one side of the Home, they are building a 
gymnasium, library, and public bath ; on the other 
side, an infirmary, where the sick can find a com- 


Follow Thou Me 


191 

fortable, sanitary home, proper food, and good 
nursing. 

George told me that the mill was never more 
prosperous. 

October nth. Yesterday I stood and rejoiced 
with busy, happy, successful workers; today I am 
reminded of some who long to mingle with other 
laborers, and work too; but they “lack opportu- 
nity.” And, it seems that for the present at least, 
they are called to stand still and endure and wait 
while their purposes are baffled and their actions 
questioned. 

How little we know how saints are made! God, 
we are sure, has no favorites; and, in His eternal 
plans, He will work out successfully and lovingly 
the little problems of His children, who love Him, 
and put their trust in Him. He never forgets. 

October 17th. Yesterday I yielded to a strong 
impulse, and “opened the doors of the church.” To 
my surprise. Sister Bertha came forward, gave me 
her hand, and knelt humbly at the altar. 

Mary and I had talked with her about finding a 
church home, but, learning that she had at one time 
been a member of a different denomination, we left 
the matter for her own decision while we concerned 
ourselves about her coming to a saving knowledge 
of Christ. Then, too, I did not know that she would 


192 


Follow Thou Me 


be welcome in St. Paul's Church. However, I be- 
lieve many hearts were touched at the sight of the 
kneeling, penitent figure, and welcomed her, as 
one alive from the dead. 

I have often wondered at the remarkable devel- 
opment in the spiritual life of this woman, and of 
others who have been deeply dyed in sin; and I 
believe the secret lies in the fact of their utter 
self-despair (that comes so hard to those who have 
not yet learned with St. Paul that “in me dwelleth 
no good thing”) ; consequently, they receive touches 
from the Hand divine; and we “behold what God 
hath wrought!” 

Sister Bertha is daily proving a help and bless- 
ing in our home; and I believe her faith, prayers, 
and life will be a blessing to the church. 

Monday, October 28th. Yesterday was a day 
of blessed privilege and joyful service. Immedi- 
ately after dinner, the chaplain of the penitentiary 
called to ask me to preach to the convicts. 

It seems to me that I had never felt the signif- 
icance of the little injunction — “Put yourself in his 
place” so keenly as when I faced those poor fellows 
in stripes. I thought of the environment, the in- 
herited inclinations, the temptations, and all that 
had brought them there. Why had my inheritance 
been different from theirs? The gracious Spirit 


Follow Thou Me 


193 


melted my heart with a deep pity for them, and I 
tried to show the Christ in the message that I gave 
them from this passage: '‘Through this man is 
preached unto you the forgiveness of sins.” May 
the God of all grace lead them to repentance and 
graciously pardon all of their offenses against the 
laws of the state and their sins against Him. 

Immediately after this service, I met with the 
young people in their devotional meeting. The 
subject for the day was “Our Indebtedness to God.” 
We studied these two passages: “How much ow- 
est thou unto my Lord ?” “Who loved me and gave 
himself for me.” We all knelt while we sang 
Frances Havergal’s Hymn of Consecration, 

“Take my life and let it be 
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee”; 

and I really believe that to many of these precious 
young hearts the words were sung with a new in- 
tensity of meaning; and in the depths of my heart 
I prayed earnestly, “O Saviour of men, do teach 
them, every one, so to number their days, that they 
may indeed apply their hearts unto wisdom.” 

At the evening service young Mr. Ito, who has 
just returned from the Bible School, made an 
earnest appeal for his people from the text : “There 
is none other name under heaven, given among men, 


194 


Follow Thou Me 


whereby we must be saved.” He drew the con- 
trast between a heathen’s death and burial, and 
a Christian’s. “None of the gods of the heathen 
have ever been heard to say, T am the resurrection 
and life,’ or "Let not your heart be troubled, ye be- 
lieve in God, believe also in me. In my father’s 
house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place 
for you, and I will come again, and receive you un- 
to myself.’ No one but a Saviour could say that!” 

He has been in correspondence with the Secre- 
tary of the Board of Missions, and it has been 
agreed that he will begin work at an early date as 
missionary to his own people, Andrew Goldsmith 
having pledged his support. 

I was never happier in my work as pastor, or had 
more to encourage me than I have now. True, 
there is much unfinished work to do — much land 
to be possessed. But I was never more assured of 
the fact that “the government” is upon the Shoul- 
ders of One infinitely strong, and wise, and loving : 
therefore, I work with great assurance, and loving 
confidence. All shall be well. I am at rest — abso- 
lutely at rest. 

October 31st. “Rooted and grounded in love!” 
O Spirit of God, search my heart ! I have often no- 
ticed that whenever I feel that I have a certain 
grace in possession, something always occurs to test 


Follow Thou Me 


195 

and try me to the very utmost of my ability to 
stand along that special line. 

I believe that no grace has to be tried, and tested, 
and purified like Love. Nothing requires such a 
delicate sense of discernment, as distinguishing be- 
tween the sinner and his sin — to hate, to utter4y 
repudiate a person's ways, his sin; and to love the 
person. And yet by God’s abounding grace, weak, 
fallen man may accomplish even this. “This is my 
commandment that ye love one another as I have 
loved you.” What He commands, thank God ! He 
fulfils in us, if we but yield to it, and receive it 
from Him. 

Of late everything seemed to be moving along 
smoothly and quietly enough in the work of St. 
Paul’s Church. For some time I have heard no 
word of criticism ; and I was just beginning to won- 
der if I were failing to “declare the whole counsel 
of God,” thereby bringing upon myself the woe that 
so few of us dread — “Woe unto you. when all men 
shall speak well of you !” 

I learned today that this seeming peace has been 
the ominous stillness that precedes the approach- 
ing storm. 

For the first time in my work as a minister of the 
gospel, a petition has been circulated among certain 
influential members of my congregation to have me 


196 


Follow Thou Me 


removed from my work. The charges, as I under- 
stand them, are about these: By giving heed to 
strange teaching, I have become a narrow sophist, 
and this has caused my preaching to become weak, 
fanatical, and sensational. As a result, I am bring- 
ing into the church an undesirable element (men- 
tioning Sister Bertha, and some others who have 
been attracted by the offer of salvation). There are 
some objections to doubtful characters being dom- 
iciled at the parsonage of St. Paul’s Church. All 
these things have caused a serious division in the 
church. Therefore they deem it best for the church 
for me to be removed, and the place filled by a 
strong, able preacher. 

When I first learned of these proceedings, I ex- 
perienced a keen sense of disappointment. I have, 
by the grace of God, cultivated a spirit of forbear- 
ance and love toward each member of St. Paul’s 
Church who has opposed my ministry, praying for 
each one by name. Thank God! a few who were 
opposers at one time have withdrawn their opposi- 
tion, and are quietly studying to see “if these things 
be true.” 

The more I thought of this plot, the more I re- 
alized its unfairness ; and when left alone, my mind 
dwelt upon my own grievances. Instead of listen- 
ing to the Master’s words, “Pray for them which 


Follow Thou Me 


197 


despitefully use you, and persecute you,” I went 
and told the Lord how I had been treated, how my 
ministry had been rejected. Of course I did not 
get much help or comfort from such a prayer. I 
thought I would find Mary, and tell her about it; 
but in the hall I met Andrew Goldsmith and Percy 
Armstrong, who had come to tell me more about 
the petition, and its signers, and to lay a little plan 
before me. They had talked the matter over with 
my friends; and feeling that a great injustice had 
been done me by this plot, over a hundred men, 
— some from St. Paul's Church, some from other 
churches, and some belonging to no church — had 
pledged themselves for my support, and agreed 
to build a large undenominational tabernacle near 
the center of the city if I would consent to become 
its pastor. 

This proposition, coming to me when my feel- 
ings were wrought up, and self was on the defen- 
sive, brought with it a peculiar temptation — a long- 
ing for freedom and independence, a keen relish 
for the approval of men. Then, too, I realized that 
it was a great opportunity to work untrammeled 
among the lost of this thronging, sinful city. There 
was a crying need for just such a mission; and I 
knew of men who had been eminently successful in 
this kind of work. Another thing : I thought of the 


198 


Follow Thou Me 


many friends I had in the city, warm, congenial 
friends; it would be so pleasant to work the rest 
of my life with them. Yet, I dared not decide with- 
out prayer; so I told them that, while I realized 
the magnificence of their offer, and appreciated, be- 
yond measure, the love that prompted it, still I 
would have to wait, and pray over the matter be- 
fore I could decide. 

After a period of self-examination I was al- 
most startled to find that, in all the reasons for 
accepting this offer that had recommended them- 
selves to my mind, not once had I asked in 
silence of heart, “Is this God's plan? Would 
He have me act independently of my church in 
this matter?" A fierce struggle ensued: I wanted 
to stay in the city and become the pastor of this 
independent church. I thought that no work prom- 
ised such freedom of conscience and opportunity of 
fruitful service as this plan of my friends. Yet, 
listen as intently as I might, I could not hear God's 
voice calling me to it. After a season of debate 
and questioning, the upheaval of injured feelings 
all subsided, and in its stead I realized a pitiful, for- 
giving spirit towards the men and women who had 
sought to injure me; all resistance gave way, and 
I consented to become a daily, living sacrifice, that 
I might prove God’s will in the ordering of the 


Follow Thou Me 


199 


smallest details of my life. Yes, again, I remem- 
bered that I had placed my reputation in God’s 
hands, and I consented as my Master to make my- 
self of no reputation. When I reached this point, 
I could hear the still, small voice; but it did not 
call me to the work that seemed so inviting. Yet 
it promised to lead me into paths of blessed service, 
by overruling all the decisions of men and giving 
me the very field that He had designed for me. In 
His will I rejoiced and found sweet peace. 

In this quiet hour, I studied the criticisms that 
had been made upon my life and ministry, deter- 
mining that whether they had been made in love 
or not I would by the grace of God use them as 
stepping-stones to greater things in God’s service. 
I found that my heart and mind and sympathy were 
not so broad, liberal, and tender as they might have 
been had I gazed oftener and longer into the face of 
Christ; my ministry likewise was not so powerful 
and convincing as God could have made it had I 
tarried in His presence in greater stillness and per- 
severance. 

Yet, there were actions criticized that I would not 
dare to change, even if I could be permitted to do 
the year’s work over. I thank God for every poor, 
benighted, marred life that I have been permitted 
to point to Christ, no matter how out-of-place these 


200 


Follow Thou Me 


poor creatures are thought to be in St. Paul's 
Church. I believe that if they are “faithful unto 
death," they will feel perfectly at home on the gold- 
paved streets of the New Jerusalem. And, as for 
Sister Bertha, I believe that the parsonage and its 
inmates have been blessed and not harmed by her 
presence. The house was never more* beautifully 
kept. I trust that she will never know that we have 
been censured for her presence in the home and 
membership in the church. 

When Mary came home I learned that she had 
heard all about the petition, but that it had not dis- 
turbed her peace of mind in the least. 

November 2nd. Last night Percy Armstrong, 
Henry Walton, and Andrew Goldsmith called to 
learn my decision in regard to the offer they had 
made me. I must confess that it was hard to 
tell them my decision. I told them how their 
love and confidi&nce had touched my heart, and 
that nothing could persuade me to refuse their 
offer but .a firm conviction that it was God's will 
for me to abide by the decision of my church. 

Henry Walton said rather impatiently, “I can't 
see how it can be God’s will for you to yield to 
the dictates of an angry, jealous Presiding Elder." 

“There are over a hundred names on this peti- 


Follow Thou Me 


201 


tion, asking you to become their pastor/’ said 
Percy Armstrong. 

Andrew Goldsmith said, “You could still serve 
the church in a local relation.” 

I hastened to answer before another argument 
could be presented in favor of my accepting, for I 
was almost afraid that I would yield. I said firm- 
ly, “My dear friends, since you presented this plan 
to me, I have considered it seriously. Others have 
done this kind of work beautifully and acceptably, 
because God called them to it and His providence 
placed them in it. But He calls me to itinerate, 
and I dare not consult my feelings in the matter; 
my personal preferences must be sacrificed in the 
interests of the Kingdom. 

“I have noted that when certain persons desired 
Jesus to depart out of their coasts, He obeyed and 
gave the same -rule to His apostles. I have, in a 
measure of faithfulness, borne witness to the truth 
here in the city; now I must pull up stakes, and 
pitch my tent in another field.” 

It was not easy to talk thus to these faithful, 
loving friends, and my course seemed harder to 
pursue than ever when Henry Walton lingered 
after the others had taken their leave to say: 
“Brother Ell wood, I don’t know what I will do 
after you are gone. You are the only man that 


202 


Follow Thou Me 


ever seemed to care for my soul. You are the best 
friend I have in the world.” 

I told him that he must ever remember that no 
earthly circumstance could separate him from an 
Almighty Saviour, and that the way to be kept firm 
and secure in his own Christian life was to com- 
mit himself to God, to interest himself in the salva- 
tion of others, and to pray earnestly for the coming 
pastor and each member of the church. 

Henry is not a man of broad views; and he has 
not yet learned the lesson, that, alas, is so hard for 
most of us to learn: that doing as one pleases is 
only true liberty when one delights to do God’s will, 
and that God’s will is generally made known to us 
through His providences or human instrumental- 
ities. 

I kneeled down and committed all these weak, 
faltering ones to the care of their Saviour and mine, 
and asked Him to let us all feel the strength of His 
arm. 

While I was at rest concerning my future work, 
absolutely at rest, still I felt concerned about my 
church, the church I loved and had prayed for. 
What would be her future under the control of the 
proud officials and “honorable women,” who evi- 
dently were working for my removal chiefly be- 
cause they were offended at the cross of Christ? 


Follow Thou Me 


203 


I opened my study window, and looked long and 
thoughtfully at St. Paul’s Church in all of its arch- 
itectural grace, and aesthetic beauty. I thought of 
the Son of David on the day of His short-lived 
earthly triumph. When He caught sight of the city 
that was beautiful for situation, the joy of the 
whole earth, its marvelous beauty awakened no 
pride, called forth no pleasing anticipations : for He 
realized that “it knew not the day of its visitation,” 
and that on the morrow, its proud rulers would 
move the people to say : “Crucify him.” He knew 
too what it meant for them to refuse the light of 
God’s truth — to reject the world’s Saviour! Re- 
membering the desolation that awaited them, 
“when he beheld the city, he wept over it.” The 
pity of Israel’s King melted my heart; and I wept 
over this city and prayed that God would send to 
St. Paul’s Church a messenger, whose words would 
reach ears that mine had failed to reach. 

November 6th. For two days I have been under 
a cloud. I have suffered, being tempted. Satan 
was not willing that the victory over last week’s 
temptation should be gained and held without some 
further contradictions on his part. Accordingly 
he met me when I awoke yesterday morning 
with suggestions of anxiety and doubt, accusing me 
of cowardice and compromise in my recent deci- 


204 


Follow Thou Me 


sion. All day yesterday and today my feeble bark 
has been driven by fierce winds apparently in abso- 
lute desertion. Yet I know the Master will arise 
and rebuke the winds and the sea. 

November 7th. “Thanks be unto God which al- 
ways causeth us to triumph in Christ !” This morn- 
ing I am quietly resting in my Saviour, as weak 
as a little child, strong only in His strength, a 
conqueror only because Jesus lives and reigns. 

November 12th. Last week I had a rather un- 
usual experience in preparing sermons for yester- 
day morning and evening. I have of late formed the 
habit of selecting texts and preparing sermons in 
as close communion with God as possible. Last 
week I was impressed in a peculiar way with the 
solemnity of my calling as a minister of the gospel, 
and longed that this last service might be one not 
of sentimental farewells but of real power. I read 
God’s Word and prayed, but still the vision tarried. 
Throughout the week I had many interruptions, 
and when alone in my study, it seemed utterly im- 
possible to make any tangible preparations for the 
coming Sunday. At last on Friday night in utter 
despair I cried, “O God, let me speak: Thy message, 
or seal my lips forever.” After this my mind set- 
tled on this passage for a text : “Other foundation 


Follow* Thou Me 


205 


can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus 
Christ” (I Cor. 3:11). 

On Saturday morning I went to my study in- 
tending to prepare an outline for a sermon from 
that text; but as soon as my morning devotions 
were over, George Mayhew called me over the tele- 
phone to conduct the noon prayer-meeting at the 
May Flower Mill. I went, and on my way home 
I met Tom Callahan, who asked me to preach Sat- 
urday evening at Howard Street. I did not dare 
neglect these opportunities for uplifting Christ be- 
fore men. I entered the pulpit on Sunday morning 
and evening with almost no preparation except a 
week of waiting upon God. 

This afternoon I had a call from Frank Graham, 
one of the most influential leaders of the Young 
People’s Society, and the superintendent of the city 
schools. He came to tell me that at the service 
yesterday morning he received a new revelation of 
Christ. He said, “My personal religion has con- 
sisted of a code of morals founded on the teaching 
of Christ, or, rather I might say, Christian tradition. 
I hoped that Christ would help me work these 
principles out in actual life and conduct. Yes- 
terday, for the first time in my life, I was en- 
abled to see God’s great provision for the need 
of the whole world; I saw Christ as a Saviour.” 


20 6 


Follow Thou Me 


“Thank God,” I whispered reverently. I had 
often asked God to bring this young man into a 
real knowledge of Christ; and when He remem- 
bered me and gave me this wonderful token at this 
most trying time in my ministry, it seemed so 
sweet, so marvelously good that my whole being 
seemed to be filled with praises. 

I leave the city in a few days for my new field 
of labor. The church of which I shall have the 
oversight has a membership of about five hundred. 
May God help me to preach the Word! 


CHAPTER X. 


“As my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.” “Then he 
said, Lo, I come to do thy will, O God.” 

“A Man of sorrows, of toil, and tears, 

An outcast Man, and a lonely; 

But He looked on me, and through endless years, 

Him must I love — Him only. 

“And I would abide where He abode, 

And follow His steps forever; 

His people my people, His God my God, 

In the land beyond the river. 

“And where He died, would I also die, 

Far dearer a place beside Him, 

Than a kingly place amongst living men, 

The place which they denied Him.” 

November 30th. Today I find myself in the city 
again, after an absence of nine years, except for a 
short visit to assist in a revival meeting. These 
have been the busiest, happiest years of my life, 
but now the Lord has stirred my nest and called 
me into a new field of service. 

For some time I have been receiving a number of 


208 


Follow Thou Me 


calls to assist in special meetings. These calls ap- 
pealed to me strongly; I dared not treat them 
lightly; yet I could not accept them and attend 
properly to my duties as pastor. There seemed to 
be a conflict. I knew that in God’s plan all was 
harmony ; and remembering that God has a specific 
work for each individual, I honestly sought to know 
His will for me. 

I love pastoral work: more and more I have re- 
alized the need of feeding the lambs, tending the 
sheep, and persistently seeking the lost until it *is 
found. Moreover there has always been in my 
heart a desire to stay in the same field for years so 
that I might see the fruit of my sowing. After 
calmly waiting upon God I have concluded that it 
is His will for me to leave to stronger, more capable 
men the work of organization and conservation 
while I do this one thing to which He has called 
me — preach the Word, sow the seed of the King- 
dom for other hands to water, knowing that “God 
giveth the increase.” 

In the sweetness of His promised presence, in the 
peace of His perfect will, I am content to leave the 
settled feeling of the quiet parsonage home, to ac- 
cept, in humble, obedient faith “the world as my 
parish.” 

After reaching this decision, a chain of circum- 


Follow Thou Me 


209 


stances, which seemed to be the leadings of Prov- 
idence, led us to make our home in the city for the 
present. 

It is a great pleasure to renew the acquaintances 
of the friends of other days, whose love has been 
so abiding, and whose experiences have been so 
closely woven with mine. 

I find that here, as elsewhere, individuals, in- 
stitutions, and incorporations are suffering from 
the present conditions brought about by the gi- 
gantic war in Europe. The situation is certainly 
serious enough to cause grave apprehensions. Yet 
we are assured that there is a “King of kings.” 
I shudder to think w T hat the future holds for the 
man or men responsible for the bloodshed, the 
privation, the heart-breaks of this most deplor- 
able war! At a time when my mind was dis- 
turbed by perplexing questions concerning the signs 
of the times, causing doubts as to my own expe- 
rience, I wrote a letter to my old friend, Dr. Heath, 
stating my doubts and perplexities and asking for 
advice and help in settling them. 

I received the following note of friendly counsel 
and helpful encouragement: 

“ T thank God upon every remembrance of you, 
my Brother/ Yes, I have noted the conditions 
that you have described in your letter. No doubt 


210 


Follow Thou Me 


we are living in 'troublous times*; but, 'be not 
afraid; only believe/ In the years gone by, when 
you asked your Father for bread, He did not give 
His child a stone; and those deep longings of soul 
for more power to reach men, that awful sense of 
weakness, and those painful intercessions, so far 
from being proof that you have not received Him, 
are, I believe, sure evidences of His indwelling. 
But be not afraid to ask for new and greater man- 
ifestations of His power. Trust in His great love, 
assured that He will not now give you a scorpion. 

“Spend much time before the throne in adoring 
love looking into the face of the glorified Jesus, 
asking Him to take possession and reign over all 
the territory of your inner and outer life. Do not 
be surprised if He makes new and wonderful man- 
ifestations of His love to your heart. 'And this is 
life eternal, that they might know thee, the only 
true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent/ 
Seek to know Him, Brother, amid all the turmoil 
and confusion of this troublous age, and believe 
firmly that ‘his dominion shall be from sea to sea, 
and from the river to the end of the world* : and, ac- 
cording to your faith, you will realize it in individ- 
ual experience: and you shall surely see it in uni- 
versal glory. 


Follow Thou Me 


2ll 

“Write again; and, if you note any signs of His 
coming, let me know.” 

I did not at this time realize anything new in 
my experience ; and yet there has been a deepening 
of the inner springs of life, until all theories, all 
doctrines, all theologies have vanished, and I see 
only “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and 
forever.” 

December ist. As I look backward over the 
years since I opened this journal, our home-life 
suggests peace and sheltered quietness. Yet there 
have been days of trial, and anxiety, and seasons 
of sorrow, all of which have been blessed by the 
presence of a “love that is stronger than death.” 
Our daughter is almost a woman, and Baby Wil- 
liam has traveled half of the years that will bring 
him to man’s estate. Another sweet little lamb 
blessed our home for one brief year, and then went 
to behold the face of our Father in heaven. 

Mary has become more tender, more thoughtful, 
more self-forgetful, — in short more Christ-like as 
the years have gone by. Consequently, she has 
had few doubts and perplexities. 

Sister Bertha, after staying with us a year, 
joined the Salvation Army, and has been actively 
employed in the rescue work. 

Our children have given themselves to God. We 


212 


Follow Thou Me 


believed all the time that God would save them. Yet 
Satan, as usual, tried to keep us from our lawful 
inheritance. Both inherited the depravity and in- 
firmities of the human race; and both were sub- 
jected, in a measure, to the temptation and allure- 
ments of the world; moreover, the Sunday School 
and church, I grieve to say, did not furnish real 
help in leading them to a personal knowledge of 
Christ. We went to God, pleading His promises to 
save our children, and it astonished us at first to 
note how many promises there were bearing direct- 
ly on this subject. However, it seemed that we 
could grasp the promises only when we laid our 
children down at Jesus’ feet, while we went out of 
self, and self-love, and allowed our prayer to take 
in, first, the associates of our children, whose in- 
fluences were adverse, and then entreated for the 
sinful, lost, and neglected children all over the 
world. God heard us and gave us, not only the 
salvation of our own children, but a measure of suc- 
cess in leading other children to Christ. Then, out 
of the abundance which He has granted to us, we 
have been enabled to support an orphan in several 
different mission fields. Oh, the goodness of God ! 

December 5th. Here are two letters that claim a 
place in this little journal. Both were written sev- 
eral years ago and show some important develop- 


Follow Thou Me 


213 


ments in the lives of two of our friends here. The 
following is from Clara Armstrong Reeves, writ- 
ten in reply to a letter of sympathy which we sent, 
on hearing of the death of her first child: 

“My dear friends: — When I used to hold on to 
my foolish, worldly life with such tenacity, I little 
dreamed what my foolishness would cost me or, 
rather, in what way my eyes would be opened. Of 
course, since my marriage, I have indulged in 
balls, etc., less frequently, but still I did not give 
them up at first. 

“Two weeks ago I left my precious boy at home, 
while I went to a masquerade ball. When I re- 
turned late at night, he was ill with high fever. 
When he saw me, he held up his little hands and 
said in his sweet, baby voice, with his breath com- 
ing so fast: 'Oh, mamma, Jamie so glad you come/ 
These were his last words. In two days he was 
gone. 

“Many kind friends came to see me; but I was 
so dazed that I scarcely heard their words of sym- 
pathy, till someone, looking at the little, lifeless 
form, uttered that old lie, that has been brought out 
of heathendom, I suppose, as I have never found 
it in the Christian's Bible: They loved him too 
much.' 

“ 'No,' I answered fiercely, ‘if I had loved him half 


214 


Follow Thou Me 


enough, I should never have left him to go to a 
silly ball!’ The spell was broken, I saw my fa- 
vorite amusement in its true light and despised my- 
self for having been so allured by it, as to commit 
such an outrage upon Christianity as to be what 
would be called a dancing Christian (?), a dancing 
mother ! 

“Josie stayed with me after all the others were 
gone. You know Josie can never say anything cut- 
and-dried just because it is expected of her. I had 
seen her several times wipe the tears from her 
own eyes. Now she came and sat beside me, and 
taking one of my hands in hers, she pressed it 
gently. ‘Josie/ I said, ‘you do not know how hard 
it is. Oh, it seems as if my very heart is being torn 
from my body/ 

“Then she spoke, oh, so tenderly ! ‘No, I do not 
know how it is, but God knows, and cares/ 

“‘Josie/ I said, ‘why should God care about me? 
Haven't I resisted His call, and kept on in a way 
that I knew was wrong?' 

“ ‘I can't tell you why, dear, only that He is God, 
our Father, and that He so loved the world that He 
gave His only begotten Son.' In that dark moment, 
for the first time in my life, I saw the love of God, 
in the gift of His Son, and the sight melted me into 
repentance. 


Follow Thou Me 


215 


“Now, everything is changed. I do not want the 
old pleasures any more. I think sometimes that 
perhaps my baby looks into the face of God and 
says again, ‘Jamie so glad mamma’s come’; and 
there steals into my heart a tender joy when I 
think how sweetly Jesus always spoke of little 
children and then think that my precious child is 
forever with the Lord.” 

The other letter is from Josie Ames, and was 
written to Mary about one year later than the one 
from Clara, that has just been recorded. 

“My dear Mrs. Ell wood: — You ask me to tell 
you something of God’s dealing with me. Well, 
dear, my whole experience seems to be contained 
in that condensed account of Israel’s wanderings 
(Deut. 8:3). ‘And he humbled thee, and suffered 
thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which 
thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know: 
that he might make thee know that man doth not 
live by bread only, but by every word that proceed- 
ed out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live.’ 

“When Mr. Ellwood first began to preach the 
great truth of the deeper life, and the privileges of 
believing people, I was rather afraid that these 
things were so, and that I, by yielding to certain 
influences, had drifted into a life of semi-worldli- 
ness, and was living far beneath my privileges as a 


216 


Follow Thou Me 


child of God. However, the real condition of things 
did not come home to me with sufficient force to 
cause a change in my life, until the night he 
preached on ‘Discipleship.’ Then the claims of 
Christ for an unconditional and entire consecra- 
tion of the whole life appeared so reasonable, that, 
it seemed to me, every one in the church must 
instantly comply with the Saviour’s proposition 
to forsake all to follow Him. As I listened, I 
planned out a life of devoted service in which L’Roi 
should lead, and I should follow, and help. When 
the altar call was made, and he did not lead, I 
asked him to go with me, as naturally as I should 
have asked him to learn a beautiful song. In his 
angry refusal, I realized that the mental picture 
that I had drawn was not consecration. I had 
reckoned without a Gethsemane, I had imagined 
a painless Calvary. I soon learned that the Valley 
of the shadow of death’ must be trodden alone, so 
far as human companionship is concerned. Yet, in 
the strength of God, I chose to follow in the way 
that Christ should lead. This decision meant part- 
ing with all that had seemed so sweet in life. L’Roi 
did not choose to walk in this way. He wrote me 
a brief letter explaining how it was. Then he went 
away, and gave himself up to the life of his own 
choosing. I will not try to describe the utter deso- 


Follow Thou Me 


217 


lation of heart that I experienced. For, although 
I was convinced I had chosen the right way, still, for 
a long time I was tossed about by a conscience mor- 
bidly sensitive, a mighty longing for inner 
harmony, and a nature quivering with living sen- 
sibilities and dread of the cross. This was because 
I saw the cross from the wrong side, and so failed 
to see on it the One who had borne my sin. I now 
see that this was the cause of my failures and stum- 
blings. But, oh! with what matchless patience He 
bore with my slowness of heart, and how tenderly 
He cared for me all along the rugged way! I 
know that the many trials and sorrows that He 
allowed to come into my life were planned, in His 
great love, to loosen my affections from things of 
earth, and to lift them up to be placed upon eternal 
things. First the sickness and death of my little 
brother touched a chord in my nature that has 
made me ever since intensely sensitive to the 
world’s suffering. Then trouble in Aunt Laura’s 
family. Uncle William’s supposed suicide, Arthur’s 
dissipation, and some very distressing circum- 
stances in Jessie’s married life, have all brought 
me face to face with the world’s sin, and the sorrow 
that it always brings. 

“There has also been sorrow in Brother John’s 


2l8 


Follow Thou Me 


family. Last summer his wife died after a linger- 
ing illness. 

"It seems to me that a sight of the suffering and 
sin among our own people has opened mother’s 
heart to the suffering of others, and I believe that 
she has not the love for worldly things that she 
once had. 

"One day it was my privilege to attend a meeting 
of the Eleventh Hour Laborers, and hear a sweet, 
saintly old lady preach. She was a high altitude 
Christian — her face, her voice, her words, all bore 
witness to the fact that she dwelt high above the 
clouds and fogs of doubt, where the Eternal Sun 
shines, and God is all in all. It seemed the most 
natural thing in the world for her to tell of the won- 
derful, glorious, sweet, loving, gracious things she 
knew about God; and I began to experience a 
mighty uplifting, rest-giving hope founded on an 
almighty Love. After the benediction I had a 
little talk with this Spirit-filled woman. I told 
her all my doubts, and difficulties, and failures, 
and stumbling. 'Dear heart/ she said in such a 
comforting, motherly way, 'poor little lamb, I see you 
have been trying all these weary years to do God’s 
work for Him. No wonder you have failed. Come 
now, and turn the task of your keeping over into 
omnipotent Hands. You are longing to be filled 


Follow Thou Me 


219 

with the fulness of God, and God is longing to fill 
you with all His blessed fulness/ 

“It seemed too good to be true. I wanted to be 
sure about it. So I told her how God was calling 
me to a life of devoted service, 'and yet/ I added, 
'whenever I think of any work for Him, I am al- 
ways met by this: “Let them first learn to show 
piety at home.” And this is what seems so utterly 
impossible for me to do. With my environment, it 
seems almost impossible for me even to confess 
Christ, I have been so unfaithful/ 

“ 'My dear child/ she said tenderly, 'you have 
an almighty Saviour, who knows no limitations. 
Commit yourself unreservedly to Him, He will 
enable you to do whatever He commands. Lov- 
ingly place your home ties into His almighty 
keeping, and trust Him with them. Then trust 
Him absolutely to “work in you both to will and 
to do of his good pleasure/ , He is faithful, and 
He will undertake for you, if you will let Him/ 

“All at once, the truth of these words stood out 
before me in living Light: ‘I am the Way/ I bade 
the dear old saint goodby, and went home, seeing 
'no man, save Jesus only/ and my whole being was 
rested, and satisfied with the sight of His blessed 
face. 

“I know it seems strange to you that it should 


220 


Follow Thou Me 


take me so long to learn this. But, as I said, I 
think the cross had been standing between us ; and 
now my point of vision was changed. 

“This marked an epoch in my life as a Christian, 
and yet I feel that I have not made the progress 
that I might have made with Such a Teacher, such 
a Saviour. There were many lessons to be learned, 
and I have learned so slowly, that it is only by the 
patience and love of God, that I am even as far 
along as I am. Praise His holy name forever!” 

Only the Good Shepherd knows the joy that 
these letters brought to our hearts. Certainly, 
“He that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor 
sleep.” Our hearts are encouraged to pray for 
others. 

December 7th. It is a great privilege to have 
this quiet little vacation that I may wait upon God, 
and learn His will more perfectly. It is also very 
pleasant to renew the acquaintance of our friends; 
and, yet, there is much of sadness, too, to be expe- 
rienced in mingling again with my former flock; 
for I find that many souls, whom I thought firmly 
established in the faith when I left the city, have 
drifted away, and some have renounced their faith 
altogether. I was especially grieved to hear of the 
tragic death of Billy McDonald. I remember him 
well. He was brought to Christ in our Gospel Cam- 


Follow Thou Me 


221 


paign, and seemed to be deeply in earnest, and truly 
alive from the dead; yet, I have been told that he 
gradually came under the influences of his former 
companions, and was murdered in an infa- 
mous dive. I wonder if the pastors and Christian 
workers earnestly and lovingly sought to prevent 
him from wandering away. I am pained to con- 
fess that I did not perseveringly remember him and 
others in prayer. 

I thank God that some, yes, very many, have not 
fallen away. I find that Percy Armstrong is still 
leading a quiet, humble Christian life; and, while 
he is not what one would call a deeply spiritual or 
self-denying Christian, yet he has never drifted 
into his old way of living, and he invariably con- 
fesses himself to be a follower of Christ. 

In conversation with Dr. John Armstrong, I 
find a man deeply interested in the profound reali- 
ties of the gospel, — a thoughtful, prayerful man. 
In his library one finds a number of books and 
periodicals on the higher Christian life. In the 
Belle Vue Infirmary, he and his wife are doing 
a truly beautiful work. I have heard that no one 
has ever been turned away on account of being un- 
able to pay for treatment, yet there are no wards 
nor undesirable rooms. Rich and poor fare exactly 
alike. 


222 


Follow Thou Me 


A visit to Clara's home confirms the account of 
herself given in her letter. In the place of the 
thoughtless, pleasure-loving girl, we found the 
quiet mother of a well-directed home, with the 
same frankness of manner, and the undisguised 
hatred of all kinds of shams. 

Andrew Goldsmith and Mrs. Goldsmith are at- 
tending a Laymen's Missionary Conference. He 
has sold his business interests and his home; and, 
owing to his strong interest in Japan, he intends 
moving to that country and becoming a citizen and 
business man in one of her larger cities. 

We were deeply saddened by a visit to Mrs. 
Mauldin's. When we were there last, they formed 
an unbroken family, considered wealthy and influ- 
ential. When Col. Mauldin died a few years ago, 
I have been told, his business was hampered by 
debt. But this is not the saddest part of the story. 
Arthur was at home the day we called, and in his 
usual, easy-going way began to renew our acquaint- 
ance, until his mother unwisely reproved him in 
our presence for his evil habits. I have seldom 
heard a temperance lecture or a sermon on “Sowing 
and Reaping" contain a more solemn warning to 
mothers than this half-intoxicated young man gave 
his mother. Rising from his seat, he made a low 
bow, and said in tones of mock courtesy: 


Follow Thou Me 


223 


“My dear mother, I beg your pardon. I really 
did not know that you had reformed. I supposed 
that when you laid aside your widow's weeds, you 
would open your parlor 'dive' again." 

“What do you mean, Arthur?" she asked in a 
confused manner. 

“I mean, mother, that you are in no position to 
reprove me for my way of living, since I learned 
it in your parlor." 

“Son," she continued in an aggrieved tone, “your 
words and conduct are disrespectful and ungrateful. 
I simply tried to furnish amusement at home, so 
that you would not have to go away from home to 
enjoy yourself. But you should never say that you 
learned to drink whiskey and to gamble at home." 

“Mother," he said bitterly, “there is no difference 
in kind between a tiger cub, with its first taste of 
blood, and a full grown tiger ; and if you will show 
me the moral difference between drinking wine, 
and playing whist for a cut glass vase in a Christian 
home, and drinking whiskey, and playing poker for 
a stated purse in an appointed place, I will then be 
willing to admit that my evil habits just came of 
themselves, as a result of my natural perversity, 
and I will clear you of all responsibility in the 
matter." 

Still the mother- sad to say, made no acknowl- 


224 


Follow Thou Me 


edgment of having done wrong! May the God 
of all grace, in pity, lead her to repentance. 

In the May hew home we found the Judge taking 
a keen interest in the various philanthropies of the 
family. But we soon learned that the tenderest 
place in his fatherly heart is occupied by "my child 
in China,” as he lovingly calls Alice. The same 
is no doubt true of the mother ; but her children are 
so snugly tucked away in the heart of God, and His 
love is such a living reality, that she never seems 
to feel any anxiety on their behalf. Andrew Mur- 
ray says, "Intercession is part of faith's training 
school,” and truly this elect woman learned some 
very blessed lessons, while interceding with God 
in behalf of the boy who now stands by the grace 
of God as the stay of his parents in their declining 
years. 

At the headquarters of the Salvation Army, we 
visited Sister Bertha, and found her busy and happy 
in her God-chosen work. 

Perhaps the most changed person we have met 
is Josie Ames; instead of the restless, impulsive 
creature, tossed about by various emotions, we 
found a quiet, self-forgetting woman, whose face 
shone with a joy that is unlike all other joys. She 
is happily associated with an older woman in the 
Christ-like ministries of a Settlement House. Josie 


Follow Thou Me 


225 


told us of the details of the work, and of her happi- 
ness in it. Her work is chiefly among the boys of 
the streets — newsboys, boot-blacks, etc. They 
have recently added to their institution a Boys’ 
Home, where these street wanderers may find a 
really comfortable Christian home for the first time 
in their lives. I heard Josie speak of only one sor- 
row — “So many of these boys prefer shivering in 
the streets, to giving up their cigarettes and pro- 
fanity and living in the Home ; but we do not give 
them up. We hope to win them yet. So we loving- 
ly commit them to God.” Then she told us of a 
great joy : “Mother has begun to take a real loving 
interest in our work, and just as soon as Brother 
John marries, and she feels that they do not need 
her any longer, she is coming to live with us in the 
Home. Isn’t that beautiful? Then last week she 
sent me all of dear little Ernest’s belongings — the 
furniture from his room, his books, his little tools and 
toys. I shed tears of joy when I made ready Ernest’s 
snowy, little bed for a poor little fellow who, per- 
haps, had never in his life slept in a clean, comfort- 
able bed; and I said in my heart, ‘Precious little 
brother, perhaps one day some of these wandering 
lambs may, through the matchless grace of our 
Elder Brother, sit with you at His feet, and tell 
how you helped to lead them there.” 


226 


Follow Thou Me 


I used to feel so troubled at times over this tried 
child of God, and feared, somehow, lest she fail to 
realize God’s purpose in her life. Then, when we 
found her so rested in God’s will, so joyous in His 
service, I was amazed at the matchless love of God. 
Mary whispered reverently, “ ‘My Father is the 
husbandman. Every branch that beareth fruit, he 
purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.’ ” 

December 9th. Last evening we went down to 
Howard Street to prayer-meeting. Tom Callahan 
is still withstanding “the world, the flesh, and the 
devil,” in the strength of God. The old warehouse 
has been torn away, and a large, substantial brick 
church stands in its place. It is rather a unique 
institution — a church, or perhaps we might call it 
a meeting house, without a membership roll. They 
have services every Sunday morning and evening, 
and a well-attended prayer-meeting on Thursday 
evening. Revival services are held twice a 
year. If, at any time, a member of the congrega- 
tion should express a desire to unite with the 
church, his name and address are sent to the pastor 
of the church of his choice. 

I asked Tom Callahan if he did not think it would 
be wiser to organize a church, and put it under the 
control of some Synod, Association, or Conference. 
This is his reply : “God has other and fitter men to 


Follow Thou Me 


227 


build up the different denominations. This is sim- 
ply a soul-saving station, carried on with the pur- 
pose of reaching the non-church-going throng of 
this section of the city with a message of God’s 
love.” 

This lay pastor (if I may use the term) is still 
the proprietor of a growing grocery business, as- 
sists at the City Mission, finds out and relieves 
much human suffering, and yet finds time to do 
some evangelistic work. What is the secret of 
these unusual activities? He is a man of much 
prayer. His wife told me that he habitually rises 
early, and gives the first hours of the day to the 
reading of God’s Word and prayer. “Then,” she 
said, “I sometimes hear him in the night, pleading 
for the lost in every land, often groaning and weep- 
ing in agony. His prayer list includes drunkards, 
gamblers, saloon-keepers, harlots, unsaved church 
members, in short all who are deceived by Satan, 
and are rejecting Christ.” 

Thank God for Tom Callahan! “Where sin 
abounded grace did much more abound.” 

December nth. On yesterday we worshiped 
with Dr. Mitchell’s congregation at the Oak Street 
Presbyterian Church. 

I have never known a more successful pastor 
than Dr. Mitchell. His church is pre-eminent- 


228 


Follow Thou Me 


ly a missionary church, supporting missionaries 
here in the city, missionaries in the mountains, and 
quite a number of foreign missionaries, besides a 
number of lesser charities. Next week the Lay- 
men's Missionary Movement will hold a convention 
in this church. 

December 12th. Yesterday we attended the 
noon prayer-meeting at the May Flower Mill, and 
spent part of the afternoon in the mill village, see- 
ing what the energetic love of these two people has 
accomplished. They have well-graded streets with 
rows of attractive cottages of different styles 
of architecture, and painted in different shades. 
Near the center of the village is a large park with 
many summer attractions. The school building has 
been enlarged and improved, and to the Graded 
School they have added a thorough textile and 
business course. We also visited the May Flower 
Home, the Infirmary, the gymnasium, the library, 
the kindergarten, and the three beautiful churches. 

“You must be very much gratified by the success 
of your work,” I said to Sister Miriam. “Yes,” 
she replied, “to a certain extent. Certainly it is 
a great pleasure to have the assurance that we are 
doing the work that God has appointed us to do. 
We were very much delighted at the recent elec- 
tions, both municipal and primary, when the can- 


Follow Thou Me 


229 


didates, who were believed to stand for righteous- 
ness, received a large majority of the votes cast at 
the May Flower box. Yet, while many have been 
helped to higher living, and better citizenship, still 
I cannot help feeling sad over the fact that so 
many have left on account of compulsory educa- 
tion and the enforcement of the Child Labor Law, 
and have gone to drift from one mill to another, 
where these measures are not enforced. I could tell 
you some incidents that would sound amusing, if 
they did not show such a pitiful condition of 
dwarfed moral character and sin-blighted lives. 
Strong men will hunt work for their little children, 
(some of them under age, and all of them unable 
to read) leaving themselves out of the count, say- 
ing that they would just job around and help the 
'old woman’ with the housework, while, as a matter 
of fact, the 'old woman’ does the housework, the 
children make the living, and the men loaf. Mr. 
Mayhew was driven to make it a law, and have it 
rigidly enforced that no man should be allowed to 
live in the mill village, without legitimate employ- 
ment, or a certificate from the resident physician 
showing that he was physically unable to work. 
We try to teach them that laziness and filth are 
both sins against God; and yet it requires much 
patience and perseverance and tact ; for sometimes 


230 


Follow Thou Me 


it is easier to enforce rules, than to help the indi- 
vidual to see the rightness of the rules.” 

I asked George if his mill reform paid financially. 
“Oh, yes, in a way it does. While the dividends 
are not much larger than they were ten years ago, 
still the property, on account of the improvements, 
is much more valuable, and the mill stock, if 
quoted, would be higher.” 

In the evening we went to the mission that was 
organized during the last year of my pastorate here. 
Frank Mayhew is superintendent of the mission, 
but all of the pastors in the city lend a hand. 
Many a poor, forlorn, hopeless wreck of hu- 
manity has found the love of God so sweetly il- 
lustrated in the heart of Mother Mayhew, that they 
have been melted into penitence, and have been 
shown the way to God. 

December 14th. We accepted an invitation from 
Henry Walton to attend prayer-meeting last 
evening at the Pentecostal Mission. A visiting 
minister of some note preached a sermon of real 
depth and power. During the service the old ques- 
tion presented itself: Why this isolation from all 
other religious bodies? I believe the preacher and 
many of the congregation to be people of unmis- 
takable consecration and devotion to God. Yet I 
fear that with some at least there is danger of mis- 


Follow Thou Me 


231 


taking license to act strangely for the real power 
and liberty of the Holy Spirit. 

To what extent are the churches and the ordained 
ministry responsible for this condition of things? 
If, as ministers, we invariably lifted a victorious 
Jesus, and our churches pulsated with religious life 
and warmth, no doubt many an earnest child of 
God would be retained within its membership, and 
become a real helper. 

We have seen the analogy in an earthly home. 
While it is never safe for children, for the mere sake 
of what they call liberty, to leave their father’s 
house; yet, whenever I see a child leave home, I 
am forced to the conclusion that, in some way, his 
parents have failed to make that home meet his 
real need. 

December 20th. I find the Laymen’s meeting 
intensely interesting. I never heard “Onward 
Christian Soldiers” sung with such meaning as they 
sing it in this conference. Some of the addresses 
are just businesslike, and seem to lack the great 
love power that awakens enthusiasm ; still there are 
others to which no thoughtful man can listen, and 
remain the same that he was before. “Thy King- 
dom come,” will be sure to be uttered with deeper 
intensity of meaning. 

Last night I heard the prince of Laymen, a man 


232 


Follow Thou Me 


of magnificent dreaming, coupled with practical, 
businesslike earnestness. To his way of thinking 
(and it certainly is according to the mind of 
Christ) there is but one calling for the Christian — 
the evangelization of the world; all relations and 
vocations of life being made subservient to this 
heavenly calling, which is worthy of supreme self- 
sacrifice and devotion. 

This morning a missionary, who has spent thirty 
years in China, spoke of “China and her people.” 
His address was a comprehensive, and thrillingly 
interesting account of the customs, educational sys- 
tem, laws, and religion of this ancient nation. He 
gave a graphic account of the opium curse — that 
most shameful chapter in the history of so-called 
Christian civilization. He told how closely opium 
and the Opium Wars were associated with Chris- 
tianity in the minds of millions of untaught, be- 
nighted heathen. “If you could see,” he continued, 
“if you could catch only a glimpse of what opium 
has done for the people of China, you would not 
wonder at their calling the people, who forced it 
upon them by a cruel war, ‘Foreign Devils/ 
And, while opium has entailed a list of suffering 
upon a wronged people, which the God of na- 
tions alone can repay; yet, if it were possible, by 
some great miracle, to rid China in one day of the 


Follow Thou Me 


233 


opium curse, still her people, with their high ideals, 
and their profound philosophy, will confess unto 
you: ‘We are in darkness, we know not the Way, 
we cannot find God/ But the Boxer crisis, the 
climax of China’s opposition, has been followed by 
a new order of things. China can no longer be called 
a ‘sleeping giant’ — yet a giant aroused from a sleep 
of centuries has possibilities and dangers unknown 
to one asleep. Never before were there so many 
wide open doors. Never before was China so ready 
to receive the Word of life; and never was need 
greater. What are we doing in comparison with 
what we could do? Young man, young woman, 
when you pray, ‘Thy Kingdom come/ are you sure 
that you are loyal to the demands of the Kingdom ? 
Does your heart not burn within you, as you re- 
member these waste places of the earth? ‘The 
King’s business requireth haste/ Our schools and 
hospitals have accomplished much good; but to 
meet the present crisis, we need evangelists to go 
out beyond the mission station into heathen China, 
and preach the gospel. Do you ask if there are 
difficulties, hardships, self-denials, dangers? I an- 
swer ‘yes’; but there are blessed compensations; 
and has He not promised, ‘Lo I am with you al- 
way’?” 

The same urgent call comes from all the mission 


234 


Follow Thou Me 


fields. Why is the call not heeded more readily? 
I am sure of one thing, we do not pray enough. 
The laborers must be sent from God. “Then saith 
he unto his disciples, the harvest truly is plenteous, 
but the laborers are few. Pray ye, therefore, the 
Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth laborers 
into his harvest” (Matt. 9:37, 38). “As they min- 
istered to the Lord, and fasted, the Holy Ghost 
said, Separate me Barnabas and Saul for the work, 
whereunto I have called them. And, when they 
had fasted and prayed, and laid their hands on 
them they sent them away. So they, being sent 
forth by the Holy Ghost, departed” (Acts 13:2, 3, 
4 ). 


CHAPTER XI. 


“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness 
of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:18). 

“Where cross the crowded ways of life, 

Where sound the cries of race and clan; 

Above the noise of selfish strife, 

We hear Thy voice, O Son of manl 

“In haunts of wretchedness and need, 

On shadowed thresholds, dark with fears, 

From paths, where hide the lures of greed, 

We catch the vision of Thy tears. 

“From tender childhood’s helplessness, 

From woman’s grief, man’s burdened toil. 

From famished souls, from sorrow’s stress, 

Thy heart has never known recoil. 

“The cup of water, given for Thee, 

Still holds the freshness of Thy grace; 

Yet long these multitudes to see 
The sweet compassion of Thy face. 

“O Master, from the mountainside, 

Make haste to heal these hearts of pain; 

Among these restless throngs abide, 

Oh, tread the city’s, streets again. 


236 


Follow Thou Me 


“Till sons of men shall learn Thy love, 

And follow, where Thy feet have trod: 

Till glorious from Thy heaven above 
Shall come the City of our God.” 

— Frank M. North. 

January 14th. My mind of late has dwelt so con- 
stantly upon the subject of the world’s evangeliza- 
tion, that I am trying seriously, from all the in- 
formation that I can gather, from statistics, reports 
of missionaries, and all other sources, to learn what 
the world’s real condition is. I have before me two 
devices, meant to show the progress of the gospel. 
One is a map of the world, with all the Protestant 
Christian nations in white while all of the other 
countries are black. I have looked long and 
thoughtfully at this significant little map, and won- 
der that so much of its surface is still black, and 
I have been told that it is a darkness that may be 
felt. 

My feelings are stirred as I recall the heroes of 
the cross, who have toiled in each of these fields, 
and I am not unmindful of the faithful disciples 
that have been made; but, as I have gone from 
country to country, and to the islands of the sea, 
I have learned some appalling facts concerning the 
spread of Christianity— facts that make me think ! 

Now I turn to the white portions of the map. 


Follow Thou Me 


237 


and first I look at Europe, a land consecrated by 
the prayers and blood of saints and martyrs. Here 
and there I find patches of white, supposed to 
represent the highest outcome of Christian civil- 
ization. But as I look, it seems that the black and 
white have all mingled together, obscured by the din 
and smoke of war, and blurred by the tears and 
blood of victims of unparalleled cruelty. 

More thoughtful, if not wiser for this 
study of world conditions, once more my eyes 
fall upon the familiar outline of my own be- 
loved land, which is indeed a good land; and, 
from the depths of my being, I thank God for an 
open Bible, and for many good laws, and wise 
provisions. Yet, as I look thoughtfully and loving- 
ly at the little symbol before me, the pure white 
seems to become clouded, and my mind is filled 
with apprehensions; for I cannot close my eyes 
to facts that show that the great controlling power 
in this country is not the gospel of the Son of God ! 
Any thoughtful, observing person can see the dan- 
gerous significance of these things : the stupendous 
provisions for war, by land and by sea; the uni- 
versal power of M O N E Y ; strife between Capital 
and Labor; the widening breach between the rich 
and the poor ; the criminal neglect of children in the 
remote rural, mining, and mill districts; political 


238 


Follow Thou Me 


corruption; the dangerous power of Roman Cath- 
olicism; the insinuating spread of Mormonism; 
heathen immigration, which our country has not 
been Christian enough to Christianize, and which 
has resulted in the building of heathen temples in 
some of our larger cities; Sabbath desecration by 
Sunday trains, Sunday newspapers, disgusting Sun- 
day amusements, etc.; the Liquor Traffic; the So- 
cial evil, especially the White Slave Trade; the 
alarming increase in crime, as a result, no doubt, of 
the dreadful fact, that, during the year just gone, 
more liquor was consumed in the United States 
than ever before! 

Yet thousands of noble and wise men and women 
are honestly and earnestly devoting their lives to 
the task of correcting these things. We have so- 
cieties for the preservation of the Sabbath, num- 
erous Temperance societies, Social Purity societies. 
Crusades on the White Slave Trade, Anti-Cigarette 
Leagues, societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to 
Animals, various Charitable Guilds, and Settlement 
Workers. In fact, I believe we have a reform meas- 
ure for every evil that exists ; and I thank God for 
every life, that, through these beneficent workers, 
has been rescued from any form of error. Yet, 
somehow, the means employed have so far been in- 
adequate to influence the masses. 


Follow Thou Me 


239 


I take up the other little device, and study its fig- 
ures thoughtfully and reverently. It is meant to 
show the exact proportion of Christians to the 
world’s population, by a broadening wedge of white 
in a series of black discs. As I look at the last fig- 
ure in the diagram, and think candidly of the 
church today, my heart aches; for it does not re- 
quire any miraculous spirit of discernment to note 
among the great masses of her membership an ut- 
ter lack of spirituality, loss of faith, a breaking down 
of the division between the church and the world, 
and the great flood of worldliness that is sweeping 
in, affecting her most sacred and solemn institu- 
tions. In fact, church membership has almost no 
significance, for, where the grosser forms of world- 
liness are not indulged in, many who are numbered 
among the people of God are seeking the same 
things as “the nations of the world seek after.” 
Time and thought and life’s best energies are ex- 
pended on things that must perish with the using. 
What shall we eat? What shall we drink? Where 
withal shall we be clothed? How shall we amuse 
ourselves? or How shall we make profitable and 
safe investments? are considered questions of para- 
mount importance ; and I fear that it is still a “little 
flock” that is seeking “first the kingdom of God and 
his righteousness.” 


240 


Follow Thou Me 


The question forces itself upon my consideration : 
“To what extent is the Christian ministry respons- 
ible for the condition of things?” With a sicken- 
ing heart I call to mind some of the flimsy, man- 
pleasing creeds, and downright infidelity that we 
hear offered to dying men and women in the name 
of the gospel of Christ, and instilled into the minds 
of the youth of the land, in many of our higher in- 
stitutions of learning. 

Apart from this, many a preacher today is hold- 
ing to the form, while he denies, ridicules, or neg- 
lects the power of the gospel that he professes to 
preach. 

As these solemn thoughts force themselves upon 
my mind, I look again at the little symbol before 
me, and it seems that the wedge of white has grown 
more narrow ; but, thank God, it has not lost a sin- 
gle ray of its lustrous whiteness; for the Gospel of 
Christ is still “the power of God unto salvation 
to every one that believeth,” and there are in the 
church at home and in the mission fields some- 
times in unexpected places, “chosen, faithful” ones, 
whose names are in the Book of Life, their num- 
ber being unknown to the census taker, but not one 
forgotten by the Father in heaven. Some of these 
are working in quiet, humble places; others are do- 
ing exploits of faith and courage in grand service 


Follow Thou Me 


241 


to humanity: they are channels through whom the 
Holy Spirit works marvels of God’s love and 
power in salvation, and healing, and overcoming 
the Evil One. I remember it is written: “Many 
shall be purifed, and made white, and tried.” “The 
people that do know their God shall be strong and 
do exploits.” 

In genuine sorrow of heart and deep humiliation 
of mind that my own ministry has not shown more 
of the compelling power of Christ’s love, I lay aside 
all diagrams and statistics, and closing my eyes, 
I give myself up to a few moments of earnest, un- 
interrupted thought. 

It seems to me that I was never before so deeply 
conscious of the power, the fury, and the artfulness 
of humanity’s foe. I never caught such a vision 
of the world’s sin, the world’s darkness, the world’s 
suffering, the world’s sorrow. I can see it in every 
form of sin-dwarfed humanity. I can trace it in the 
pale faces and listless eyes of drug and tobacco 
fiends, the bloated faces of the drunkard and glut- 
ton, the restless never-satisfied tread of the pleasure- 
seeker, the hard, cruel face of the money-lover; I 
learn it in the long list of suicides; I hear it in the 
cry of neglected children, and in sighs of overbur- 
dened laborers; and even in the groans of ill-fed, 
imprisoned, or overburdened beasts. When I add 


242 


Follow Thou Me 


to all this the gross darkness of heathen lands, 
it seems to me that I can almost hear the groaning 
and travailing of the whole creation. 

My heart melts with a deeper sorrow over the 
lost, a tenderer pity over the erring, a more Christ- 
like compassion over all kinds of suffering; and I 
enter more deeply into fellowship with the suffer- 
ings of Christ, realizing more than ever the mean- 
ing of the love that “sent not his Son into the 
world to condemn the world; but that the world 
through him might be saved.” With a renewed 
intensity of devotion, I ask that my life may be 
poured forth to make known this love to a lost 
world ; and with a painful consciousness of the aw- 
ful judgment upon those who reject Christ, I give 
myself up to a season of prayer for laborers to be 
sent of God into this abundant harvest field, and for 
the Spirit to be sent out to turn the hearts of these 
wanderers back to their God. 

The Coming One. 

January 20th. When and how shall the “king- 
doms of this world become the kingdoms of our 
Lord and his Christ”? The answer to this question 
involves the final giving up of an old hope; but, 
thank God, it implies the resurrection of a “better 
hope.” 


Follow Thou Me 


m 


The situation brings to mind a little incident of 
my childhood. Once mother was called away from 
home on some 'business that would keep her an in- 
definite length of time. She was obliged to leave 
me at home. Arranging everything for my comfort 
and safety, and giving the care of the chickens and 
the winding of the clock into my hands, she left, 
saying, as she folded me in her arms and kissed me 
goodby, “Be a good boy; and I will be back just 
as soon as I can, and will bring you a present.” 

After the first sense of disappointment at not 
being able to go with mother and the awful feeling 
of loneliness were over, I began to make plans that 
I expected to carry out while mother was away. 
I have often thought of the lessons I learned during 
this, my mother's first absence from me. For one 
thing, I learned that it is much easier to plan a 
wonderful chicken coop than it is to make it. I 
neglected my studying on the first afternoon in 
order to gather up the materials and tools for this 
elaborate structure. The next afternoon a school- 
mate came home with me, and spent the night. We 
played too long ; and lessons were again neglected ; 
and I forgot to wind the clock, which was an honor 
and privilege that I had long coveted ; and the neg- 
lect of it caused much inconvenience and confusion 
on the plantation the next day. By Friday I began 


244 


Follow Thou Me 


to say, “Perhaps mother will come today, and I 
wonder what she will bring me.” So anxious was 
I about her coming, that I obtained leave of my 
teacher to go home at noon to see if she had come ; 
but she had not come ! That afternoon I was rest- 
less and anxious — watching for mother. In my 
haste to get back to my perch on the gate post, I 
neglected to shelter a hen with a brood of small 
chickens. During the night a heavy rain storm 
made me feel so lonely and afraid, although I was 
not alone, that I began to wonder, if mother loved 
me so very much, why did she stay away so long? 
After the storm, I slept soundly until morning, 
and awoke with a joyous hope, almost amounting 
to certainty, “Mother will surely come today, per- 
haps by noon, certainly by the close of the day!” 

There was a routine of small jobs that I was always 
expected to do on Saturdays; and in the earnest- 
ness of loving expectation, I set out to do my day's 
work, hoping to finish up by the time mother 
should come. But, somehow, things went wrong. 
The heavy rain had drowned some of the unshel- 
tered chicks, and the hen was very hard to manage 
after being left to herself the evening before. When 
all my ingenuity and resources had about failed with 
the refractory hen, a disappointed, disheartened lit- 
tle fellow found himself caught up in a pair of lov- 


Follow Thou Me 


245 


ing arms. The troublesome hen was soon under 
shelter, and I was pouring out a humiliating list 
of shortcomings, which were all understood and 
overlooked by a strong mother love. I learned that 
she had traveled until after night, in order to reach 
home as early as possible in the morning. In the 
great joy and comfort of mother's actual presence 
I had forgotten all about the present she was to 
bring, until a beautiful picture-book was placed in 
my hands. The next week the elaborate plan of the 
unfinished coop was simplified, and with mother’s 
help the coop was finished. 

In the early days of my Christian life, I remember 
how, in an enthusiasm born of love, I hoped to help 
bring the world to Christ; and I entered joyfully 
upon the task. The teaching that I occasionally 
heard on the Second Coming of Christ seemed to 
me to be useless, and rather speculative. In fact, 
I rather hoped that He would not come until cer- 
tain individuals were saved, or until certain un- 
dertakings would be accomplished. 

But, as the years have rolled around, I have 
often wondered that so many reject the Word, in 
its saving power; and then the love of so many 
seems to have grown cold ; and I realize that things 
are not coming to pass as I had hoped. 

Often, as I have been praying for an individual 


246 


Follow Thou Me 


or a particular work, my heart has been touched, 
and my faith almost paralyzed by the sad thought : 
There are thousands of others, just as sinful, just 
as needy, just as dear to the heart of God; then I 
find myself burdened with a sense of the world’s 
sin, pleading with God for a lost world. When a 
pleasure or a blessing of any kind comes into my 
life, I am often reminded of some individual who 
is deprived of this enjoyment, and instantly I am 
bewildered by a sense of the whole world’s destitu- 
tion. Whenever I hear of any sorrow or oppres- 
sion or cruelty that I cannot prevent, or hear of the 
horrors of war in any land, I am often moved even 
to tears, by a vague but undeniable sense of the 
world’s suffering. Again, when I see the great 
multitude, blindly seeking the perishing destruc- 
tive things of this life, forgetting God and eternal 
things, my heart stands still with a nameless dread, 
and I become conscious of the fearful deception of 
the Evil One. 

These experiences have bound me to the Mercy 
Seat; and from time to time, as I have laid the 
seemingly hopeless condition of the world upon the 
heart of God, the Blessed Comforter draws me 
very close to Christ. I become possessed 
and thrilled by a mighty Hope, as the Spir- 
it of truth shows me out of the Word of God 


Follow Thou Me 


247 


that, in the saddest, darkest moment of this old 
world’s history; in the time of Satan’s deepest de- 
ception and greatest power, then Christ Himself, 
the Deliverer, the Saviour, the King, having become 
the Desire of all nations, will come in power and 
great glory, and have the Deceiver bound a thou- 
sand years, and reign Himself from sea to sea, and 
from the river to the end of the world. Hallelujah ! 
Praise His Name! 

I would not speculate upon the full significance 
of His coming, either to those who love His appear- 
ing or those who have not obeyed the gospel. I 
dare not go beyond the plain statements of the 
Word of God; but the Second — the Pre-millennial 
Coming of Christ is now no longer a useless teach- 
ing, a barren speculation, but a Blessed Hope, even 
a loving necessity of the redemptive work that He 
has undertaken as Saviour of the world; for “the 
things which are impossible with men are possible 
with God/’ And it is not hard to believe that in 
the personal presence of the living, reigning Christ, 
when we “see him as he is,” the Deceiver being 
bound, we will no longer “teach every man his 
neighbor, every man his brother.” The schools 
and reforms that we find helpful now while “we 
know in part” shall be done away, when that which 
is “perfect is come/’ and “the knowledge of the 


248 Follow Thou Me 

Lord shall cover the earth as the waters cover the 
sea.” 

This hope inspires a deeper love for my Master, 
a more Christ-like pity for those whom He died to 
save. It has strengthened the conviction that I must 
seek here no “continuing city” ; but live as a “pilgrim 
and a stranger on earth.” Yet, I dare not “stand 
gazing into heaven”; but remembering that it is 
not for me to know “the times or the seasons, 
which the Father hath put in his own power,” I 
give myself anew, in the power of the Spirit to be 
His witness, to believe on His name, to preach His 
gospel, that I may be able to stand before the Son 
of man. 

“And now, little children, abide in him; that 
when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and 
not be ashamed before him at his coming.” 

“And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the 
moon, and in the stars ; and upon the earth distress 
of nations with perplexity ; the sea ,and the waves 
roaring; men’s hearts failing them for fear, and 
for looking after those things which are coming on 
the earth ; for the powers of heaven shall be shaken. 
And then shall they see the Son of man coming in 
a cloud with power and great glory.” 

“And I saw an angel come down from heaven, 
having the key of the bottomless pit and a great 


Follow Thou Me 


249 


chain in his hand. And he laid hold on the dragon, 
that old serpent, which is the Devil and Satan, and 
bound him a thousand years, and cast him into the 
bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal up- 
on him, that he should deceive the nations no more 
till the thousand years should be fulfilled : and after 
that he must be loosed a little season.” 

“And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and 
judgment was given unto them: and they lived and 
reigned with Christ a thousand years.” 

“Behold a king shall reign in righteousness, and 
princes shall rule in judgment.” 

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy 
name, thy kingdom come ; thy will be done in earth 
as it is in heaven. For thine is the kingdom, and the 
power, and the glory forever. Amen.” 

February 4th. Have I ever really denied myself 
for the cause of Christ? I have always practiced 
economy, and lived simply ; but that has involved no 
real sacrifice. I love simplicity. I have contributed 
freely of my means to the cause of Christ; but I 
have just had such a vision of the world’s need, and 
of God’s love, that I realize that what has been ac- 
ceptable service in the past will not do today. No 
ordinary service, no ordinary praying will -answer 
in these troublous times: now I must serve the 
world to the point of weariness, self-sacrifice and 


250 


Follow Thou Me 


pain. As I have prayed, and pondered the affairs 
of the Kingdom in each field of the world, the dire 
need of laborers everywhere has been painfully 
realized ; but God has laid the needs of China upon 
my heart, and called me to evangelize in the dense 
interior of that suffering land. 

When this call first came, I was afraid that I 
might be led by enthusiasm, so I waited upon God ; 
and the following questions were settled in His 
presence. 

I am forty-one years old : does not God need and 
call younger men to this work? 

Moses spent fully two-thirds of his life in prep- 
aration for his life-work. I am in robust health: 
if my Lord should tarry, and it please God to use 
me so long, I see no reason why I could not serve 
Him forty years longer. Perhaps my experience 
in seeking the lost may help me in China, especially 
this lesson that I have learned from failures on the 
one hand, and God-given victories on the other: 
“The battle is the Lord’s.” 

Then there are the children ! I know Mary, as a 
good soldier of the cross, would gladly face the 
inconveniences and dangers of any land for Christ’s 
sake: but would it be right or wise to take the 
children to China, before their educations are fin- 
ished? Or could we leave them at home? Here the 


Follow Thou Me 


251 


promise came so forcibly that it almost seemed to 
be spoken: “The promise is unto you, and to your 
children.” 

One question more came up: a question that 
seemed hard to settle: “Is there not need — sore, 
pressing need for laborers at home? Are there not 
neglected spots in the mountains, and in the cities, 
in mining and lumber camps? And my own be- 
loved church — does she not need watchmen to 
sound the alarm against the sins and dangers of this 
troublous age?” 

I was never more deeply conscious of the need of 
Spirit-filled men and women to labor in every cor- 
ner of the vineyard; yet I realize that I can best 
serve my homeland and the whole Kingdom, and 
my prayers will have power, only, by unquestioned 
obedience to the King. 

And so I leave the matter in God’s hands, as- 
suredly believing that God has called me to evan- 
gelize in the interior of China. I am resting in 
quiet peace. 

Conclusion. 

February 8th. When I told Mary of my call 
to China, she did not seem surprised or dismayed. 
Yet when we began to talk about going, she said 
that she did not think it would be according to 


252 


Follow Thou Me 


the “sound mind” of the gospel to take the 
children at present to a country where there 
were no suitable schools for them to attend, and 
that it seemed best for her to stay with them 
and keep them in school here a while longer. I felt 
the wisdom of this, but was hardly prepared for 
what it involved. Mary saw me hesitate and said 
gently : “Dear, you know men have been separated 
from their families to amass fortunes, to serve their 
country, and win military honors; some have fallen 
on the field of battle for what they believed to be 
a righteous cause; and surely we can do this for 
Jesus' sake, and in His strength.” Together we 
kneeled down and renewed the vows of our con- 
secration. Thank God! by His grace, I said, “Yes” 
unconditionally. By this same matchless grace, al- 
though for a time, it was with quivering lip, I still 
said unfalteringly, “Yes, Lord, I will leave all, and 
follow Thee.” It seemed to me that the love and 
warmth of home never seemed so dear to me before. 
All the chivalric love and fatherly instinct of my na- 
ture were stirred to their very center, as I thought 
of leaving Mary and the children without their nat- 
ural protector. On the other hand, I never realized 
before how much I depended upon Mary. Her 
counsel seemed utterly indispensable. Yet, thank 
God; I know I was not “looking back.” When 


Follow Thou Me 


253 


Jesus spoke of leaving home, and parents, and 
brethren, and wife, and children for the kingdom of 
God, I was sure He did not mean that these re- 
lations should be lightly esteemed, or that it would 
not hurt to give them up. I know, too, that Mary 
loved me as tenderly as I loved her and the chil- 
dren. But I believed that her faith or her love — her 
realization of God was stronger than mine. So 
I would not hurt her by telling her how I felt. 
Alone in my study, from the depths of my heart, 
I uttered this prayer: “O Saviour, who also wast 
tempted, pardon these tears, and make me strong 
in Thy strength to go with Thee all the way.” He 
heard me; for there swept over my entire being a 
comfort, a peace, a realization of eternal life, a 
sense of God, that lifted me up and made me strong 
and glad and free. 

February 9th. Today, I received the following 
letter from the Secretary of Missions : 

“Dear Brother: — Your letter received: I thank 
God for your devotion and consecration. The need 
is great for just such service as you offer; but I 
deplore the fact that there is not enough money 
in the treasury to warrant the Board in appointing 
you at present.” 

O Saviour of men, as Thou sittest over against 
the treasury, and beholdest how the people cast 


254 


Follow Thou Me 


money into the treasury ; what thinkest Thou, when 
the people, who are called by Thy name, have 
money for every great enterprise — banking, manu- 
facturing, commercial, etc.; money to buy houses 
and land; money for luxuries, and many useless, 
and even hurtful indulgences ; while the interests of 
Thy kingdom are carried on in this half-hearted 
way? God help us! Show the people the beauty 
and excellence of Thine everlasting kingdom, and 
may they bring not only the tithes into Thy store- 
house, but gifts and offerings. 

This little halt in our arrangements led me again 
“to wait upon God” for guidance, lest I run ahead of 
His will. Again He has given me the undoubted 
assurance of His call to the regions beyond, and 
again I answer, “Here am I, send me,” even when 
the treasury is empty ; for I know that if I am obe- 
dient to God, if I put His name, His kingdom, His 
will first, then I can depend upon Him for all I 
need for my family as well as for myself. The 
peace of God, which passeth all understanding, is 
sweetly keeping me today, as I go out seeking the 
lost in the city, “ready to depart on the morrow,” 
if God leads the way. 

February 15th. When God called me to a closer 
walk with Himself, in my consecration, I very def- 
initely laid all my earthly possessions upon His 


Follow Thou Me 


255 


altar. Since then, in obedience to Christ, I have 
not laid up treasure upon earth, but have endeav- 
ored to act as His steward, and to distribute what I 
have had to give in close fellowship with Him. 

I was never led to sell the old plantation home 
where I spent my childhood. It did not seem right 
to inconvenience the family who had rented it so 
long. Then, somehow, I always felt that, perhaps, 
God was keeping it for a home where I might spend 
my last days, and, perhaps, too, He might let me 
build a home there for the homeless, when I should 
become too old to preach. The quiet repose of the 
old home always appealed to me. I love the country, 
its bountiful fresh air, its hills and valleys, its for- 
ests and fruitful fields ; I love the homely simplicity, 
and neighborliness of the country community life; 
but, as the “Go” of my Master, emphasized by the 
needs of a suffering world, has sounded in my ears, 
all other sounds have died away; and trusting my 
Father, who “knoweth that we have need of all 
these things,” I have laid my ancestral love, to- 
gether with all hope of an earthly home, upon God’s 
altar, and sold the old plantation. 

This seems to be the leading of Providence. The 
price received astonished me. I thank God for 
His bounty, that enables me to provide for my 


256 


Follow Thou Me 


family, and to open up mission work in the interior 
of China. 

The same mail, that carried the titles to the land, 
carried also another letter to the missionary Secre- 
tary, with the good news of God's provision. 

February 20th. I have just fulfilled a brief min- 
istry to each of my former charges, where I have 
borne witness once more to the amazing love of 
God and entreated men and women to yield them- 
selves to God. God has granted me the gracious 
presence and precious manifestations of the Holy 
Spirit in persuasive power. I have seen quite a 
number seeking God ; and, as the needs of a perish- 
ing world have been presented, some have renewed 
the vows of their consecration and sought the Holy 
Spirit for guidance and power in service. I thank 
God for every heart that has been refreshed and 
helped. I knew of only two definite decisions be- 
ing made. A gifted young woman yielded obe- 
dience to a call to teach and do mission work in the 
mountains of our own land. A young man, a 
member of the church I last served, surrendered 
his life to God; and my heart was cheered this 
morning by a letter saying that he has obtained a 
license to preach, and that he wishes to accompany 
me to China. His home church has assumed his 


Follow Thou Me 


257 


support. “Let everything that hath breath praise 
the Lord.” 

March 10th. Last evening we had a missionary 
service in St. Paul’s Church. In deep, loving seri- 
ousness, I pleaded with a large congregation, from 
the standpoints of their highest personal good, the 
world’s sad need, and the glory of Christ, to yield 
themselves to God for His service. At the close 
of the service, a large number gathered around the 
altar, in response to a loving exhortation from the 
pastor, for a new and deep consecration to 
God. 

At this service three decisions were made. Frank 
Graham yielded obedience to an oft-repeated call 
to do personal work for Christ, and Brother Mit- 
chell called me up this morning to say that a young 
married couple of his congregation have volun- 
teered for service in Africa. Surely God is good. 

March 12th. With my whole being melted into 
responsive tenderness, and humbled by the revela- 
tion of the “Love of Christ which passeth knowl- 
edge” I leave today to preach Christ in China. God 
is sweetly upholding us all as the time of my de- 
parture draws near. If it shall please God to hon- 
or my humble ministry, by giving me souls for my 
hire, I shall assign the greater share of the spoils to 
the brave, loving little woman who said, “Go, and 


258 


Follow Thou Me 


preach the gospel unfettered; and I will stay with 
our children/' 

My heart is strongly, sweetly thrilled by the pres- 
ence of Him who commands, “Go ye into all the 
world," and who promised, “Lo, I am with you 
alway"; and it bounds with the hope of another 
promise, “Surely, I come quickly." In deepest 
worship I reply, “Even so, come, Lord Jesus." 

“And the Spirit and the Bride say, Come. And 
let him that heareth say. Come. And let him that 
is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take 
the water of life freely." 

March 13th. Yesterday, I wrote what I sup- 
posed would be the last entry in this little journal: 
then I gave it to Mary as a parting gift ; but, praise 
the Lord! I have another glorious entry to make. 
Mary may still keep the journal, but not as a part- 
ing gift; for, by the providence of God, we expect 
to be separated only a few months. Instead of two 
men going alone to join in China's evangelization, 
we are to have a little Christian community of 
Christian homes, and schools, and churches ! “His 
loving kindness, oh, how good!" 

This is how it all came about : a little while back, 
Frank Graham consecrated himself to God and re- 
ceived the promised Spirit, working in him a lov- 
ing, childlike obedience. Realizing the pressing 


Follow Thou Me 


259 


need of schools in the mission field, suited to the 
needs of missionaries’ children, there sprang up in 
his heart the desire to open such a school in China. 
The desire was shared by his wife, who is also a 
teacher; and after much prayer, they are convinced 
that the plan is of God. With Frank Graham, 
decision means action; so in the next few weeks, 
while he closes his present school term, he is plan- 
ning to dispose of his property here, and invest in 
Chinese property, move his family to China, not as 
missionaries in the strictest sense of the word, but 
as citizens of China as near as that may be. 

I am going on, according to my engagement, with 
the young brother who volunteered some time ago ; 
and we are to find, through the loving guidance of 
our God, a quiet little village among the beautiful 
mountains of China, and make ready for the others 
to come. 

It is good to see how glad Mary is to take an ac- 
tive part in the evangelization of China. Her faith 
and devotion have already overcome the privations 
and hardships of the way. In fact, I did not realize 
just how much it had cost her to stay, until God 
made the provision that allowed her to go and at 
the same time fulfil her God-appointed duties of 
motherhood. We both praise God today for al- 
lowing us to work together, without depriving 


26 o 


Follow Thou Me 


China. Surely, there are no discords nor conflicting 
duties in His perfect will. While I go from vil- 
lage to village, doing the work of the evangelist, it 
will help to know that there is a little home village, 
where Mary with the others of the “Home Guard,” 
are doing a service just as necessary and acceptable 
in His name. 

The children of both families may also learn to 
love and labor for China! Belonging to the Do- 
minion, and under the care of the Great King we 
are glad to hear Him say, “The Promise is to you 
and to your children.” Thank God this promise 
covers all their need ; and we are glad and happy. 

When Abraham and Isaac were descending the 
slopes of Mount Moriah, listening to the renewed 
promises of blessing and fruitfulness and victory, 
they were surely no less devoted to their covenant 
God than when the beloved Isaac lay unflinching 
beneath Abraham's uplifted knife. 

I thank God that His grace enabled me to yield 
unquestioning obedience when it seemed that His 
voice was calling me to forsake all for the sake of 
the Kingdom. Today, when the cross seems not 
so heavy, and the blessings of life are multiplied, by 
this same matchless grace, I love His appearing; 
and as He renews His promise, “Surely I come 
quickly,” my heart bounds hopefully, rejoicing that 


Follow Thou Me 


261 


all mine are still His, my whole being responds, 
“Even so, come, Lord Jesus!” 




\ 


















✓ 






* 



























Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process. 
Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide 
Treatment Date: April 2005 


PreservationTechnologies 

A WORLD LEADER IN PAPER PRESERVATION 

1 1 1 Thomson Park Drive 
Cranberry Township, PA 16066 
(724) 779-2111 





